For reasons unknown

God these children drive me mad. I loathe it when I see them looming into the drive way. And I know I shouldn't blame them for their mother's incompetence, but they are so fucking annoying, they really make me want to shoot myself. Today she left them out in reception with me while she saw the Doc, and they proceeded to draw over everything. They also kept rummaging around my drawers, yelling, talking to me while I'm on the phone, and trying to jam things in the shredder. This is not the first time I have had to resist the urge to slap them. Last time she left them inside while talking on the phone outside for twenty minutes, loudly bitching over their dad who she's divorcing, and they ran around screaming and throwing things. All four terrors. The kids already have issues, you can tell. So yeah, I know I shouldn't blame them, but really, they drive me insane. Sticking rusted nails in my foot would be less painful. I can't tell them off because then the mother would be all "how dare you, they're my children" and I can't slap them because in modern society that's apparantly cruel...but if you ask me it's self defence. Defence for my sanity!

Gah.

Speaking of aggression, nearly got myself into a whole lot of trouble today. Luckily I act a lot more bad ass and dangerous that I am. I'm pretty sure I can hold my own in a fight but I'm not spectacular...and I defintely don't want to try it out. I've mostly gotten away with glowering and threats, small shows of low level violence, and no ones ever pushed me further. But I think I might have bitten off more than I can chew if it wasn't in a busy public place. I can't help it. I get angry and then I don't think about what I'm doing. And I don't like bullies. Its the way I was raised. There were these leb guys having a go at a gay couple minding their own damn business and I told them to fuck off and get a grip on reality. I went to school with guys like that, they don't scare me, wannabe thugs *scoffs*. That's not to say they appreciated my input very much. But honestly this is the 21st century, they're not hurting anyone or inconveniencing anyone, so let them be. The idiots obviously turned their grammatically incorrect attacks to me which I found quite amusing and that only annoyed them more. Luckily their loud mouth idiotic behaviour hadn't just been annoying me, and some other people told them to shut the hell up too. As is the case with bullies, once contested and outnumbered they run away with their tails between their legs like the cowards they are. I don't know why I often have these lapses in brain function where I feel the need to do this intefering thing, its happened at school a few times, that time in Parramatta when I yelled at these beefy blokes for abusing an emo boy, the my chem concert with the water debacle. There must be something wrong with me. I blame my mother.

Class today was pointless as expected. I did get my first chapter assignment back tho, distinction. I feel kinda bad cause other people in class were having a tough time and here I am getting a distinction when I don't even really like the way I wrote it and I didn't even put in that much effort. Oh well. Workshopping was utter shambles as expected, I didn't even get to go. She just ignores me. Even when she did the one on one, I got two seconds while everyone else had like ten minute consultations. Shrugs.

I am having so much fun watching Ally obsess over Twilight. I don't think she's ever obsessed over anything before (or not to this extent where it takes up all your energy so that when you aren't engaged in it you feel restless and bored), so it's all new to her. She's got that whole "I feel like an idiot, but god its fantastic" psychotic behaviour going. It is fantastic. Being a natural obsessive, I can't remember not obsessing over something or other, so to see it take hold first hand is quite interesting. It was funny tho, we are both sitting in class with her moaning she could be reading and me moaning that I could be watching Doctor Who.

I think Mohawk boy might like me. I caught him looking at me three times in class today. Either that or he thinks my Doctor Who comments are deranged. I'm chosing to go with the former. Silly boy. Why can't he make conversation? I give him every opportunity, hell I was even sketching the operation ivy logo in my notebook today and I know he saw it. Grumbles. Stupid social awkwardness.

I'm laptop-less tonight, having finally packed it off to mum's IT department. They think its the sound card. I just hope they can fix it.

Hm. I'm thinking maybe I should get a tutoring job, make some extra cash. English and writing. Easy.

But my heart it don't beat it don't beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they don't see you no more.
And my lips, they don’t kiss, they don’t kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don’t recognize you at all.

Music: This river is wild - The Killers
Mood: Satisfied