Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white...
- Mark Jenkins

Music: Rattling keys
Mood: Headache-y and tired

Friday, July 23, 2010

Wakes imagination

I had such a brilliant Harry Potter dream the other night - I can't remember the specifics, but I just woke up knowing it had been amazing. So know I'm going to re-read the series, as you do.

Plans for the evening have been put on hold until tomorrow. Instead I have watched some more Buffy (aka angstfest 98) and something called Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist - not entirely sure how I feel about that yet. Indifferent I think is the call.

Tomorrow is actually shaping up to be quite busy - Em and I are hitting up the Winterland festival and checking out the markets, before I catch Inception (which I'm dying to see - it better not be overhyped, I want my mind blown) and then I'm catching up with Lizzie in the evening.

With all the socialising crammed into one day, I am free to spend Sunday in the country with the parental unit doing my favourite thing - nothing.

If there is any justice in the world, material for my work features should have arrived over the weekend meaning I'll have actual work to do next week. I've got three consecutive weeks of deadlines, so I'm looking forward to being busy again. I complain, but it really is better than boredom.

Oh, I have free tickets to see ET at the drive-in on Wednesday - let me know if there are any takers.

Music: Sleepy silence
Mood: Tired

Today's special: rant of the broken record variety

There’s something that annoys me, something subtle and perhaps it may not seem like a big deal….but it annoys me all the same. It comes from remarks such as "You’re too pretty to be emo", "Geek girls have no style", or as a radio announcer asked Alex Perry the other day "Will we ever see a girl with chunky thighs and a PhD on Top Model?" (paraphrasing, obviously) So what exactly are we implying here, that all PhD students have chunky thighs? That pretty girls can’t be smart and into other things?

People have very clear pictures of how others should look and act, and fit them into the necessary boxes. You wear a lot of black? Into the Goth and emo box you go. You watch Star Trek? Well, then clearly you should go into the geek category. You do well at uni, you wear glasses, you follow celeb gossip, you read comic books, you have a studded belt…whatever, it’ll get you placed firmly in a category. It’s human nature to classify and order, I suppose.

The fact of the matter is, people very rarely fit into such narrow categories. It’s possible to be many things at once, to belong to many groups at the same time without great difficulty. This is hardly revolutionary information and I know I’m covering old ground. I’ve even made peace with society’s incessant need to label absolutely everything. It’s the comments that fire me up. "You’re too pretty to be emo." I mean really. Who says that to someone? Are you really judging an entire collective of people, and then, worst of all, somehow think you’re bestowing a compliment? Come on man, grow up.

I wear a lot of black, I have emo sensibilities, I listen to bands of dubious quality and go to shows, I have an eclectic knowledge of punk history, I’m smart, I write, I like Twilight and Harry Potter, I watch at least an hour of sci-fi a day, I play chess and I’m good at it, I like astronomy, I’m fascinated by comic books, I follow movie news obsessively, I soak up lyrics and quotes like a sponge, I "know the ways of the fangirl", I know the latest trends, I love cars and bikes, I go to rugby games whenever I can, I have more pairs of high heels than I need, I love all things macabre and all things French, I want to earn my PhD and if I lost two kilos, I’d definitely be thin enough to audition for Top Model if I wanted to. And everyone who’s ever made stupid comments to me about where I do and don’t "fit" can go right to hell. I don’t fit anywhere, and that’s exactly the way I like it.

Music: Golden - Fall Out Boy
Mood: Bored

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The hardest part is letting go of your dreams

There is so much I’ve been meaning to blog about, I just can’t seem to find the time. If I don’t sit down with my laptop straight away coming home from work, I just don’t do anything. It’s highly disconcerting considering I have quite a bit that needs to be done – and it will no doubt be an even bigger problem when I go back to uni in two weeks. Besides, I just miss rambling about nothing every day. Stupid "real life."

Things I intended to blog about:

> DVDs I've watched recently including Adam, Milk, and The Brothers Bloom.
Conclusion: Might want to consider more cheerful things. Adam was so painful, I could barely watch it. Brilliant, but painful. I quite liked The Brothers Bloom but I suspect it may be one of those films that no one else does.

> The girl with the dragon tattoo which I finished on the weekend.
I had my doubts starting this but there comes a point about halfway where it just starts working. It’s been aaaages since I’ve spent an entire afternoon just devouring pages like that at my own prerogative (ie not for uni) and I’ve forgotten how great that feels. Reading love. I was really enjoying the unconventional heroine too until the last chapter.

> Fourth season of Torchwood
Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello had the following to say about new characters:
I’ve gathered on the new season (airing on my new favorite cable network,
Starz), the show is out to cast a new series regular — Rex Matheson, a wickedly
funny (operative word: wicked) CIA agent born to make waves. Almost as key to
the new season are recurring characters Esther Katusi, a CIA grunt in her early
20s who learns what she’s really made of only when she’s forced to, and Oswald
Jones, a convicted murderer and pedophile who will be as shocked as anyone to
learn how easily infamy and fame can be exchanged for one another.
Call me unprogressive if you like, but where’s the sci-fi? This just sounds like James Moran’s Girl Number 9. I don’t want high drama or the X files, I just want my cheesy show back, is that really so much to ask for? Normally I’d say give them the benefit of the doubt, but I frankly don’t see why I should.

> The Doctor Who finale
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Yup. That pretty much sums it up. You know, there might be a paper in running RTD and Moffat against each other – provided there isn’t one already (probably is, geeks are quick on the uptake and not as lazy as I am)

> Eclipse
My brain has either given up completely or the acting is getting better. It was surprisingly rather enjoyable. R and I were of course laughing in bits that weren’t meant to be funny, but somehow that’s become part of Twilight’s appeal. You go in knowing it’s not going to be cinematic genius and somehow that makes it ok. And this one actually has action (it’s in the talking scenes that this franchise truly falls apart) which is definitely a plus – especially since that action involves a lot of Jasper. I always liked Jasper and knowing he had a bigger role this time was definitely part of the reason I actually wanted to see Eclipse. Screw Edward and Jacob, Team Jasper ALL THE WAY. R and I still had a muttered running conversation for the duration of the film about Jacob and Edward. She’s very much pro-Jacob, and I – well, I have serious issues. My loathing for Cedric’s Edward is matched equally to my loathing of book-Jacob. I want to be pro-Edward, but my instinct is to mock Cedric, and I like movie-Jacob, but my instinct there is to run the character over. So I am sure you can imagine my dilemma.

Things that have happened:

> Dented another heart
> Visited the radio studio across the road
> Window shopped for costumes
> Applied for a press pass to world con
> Bought another pair of boots

Things I’m contemplating:

> The logistics of going away for a year

> The huge amount of work I’ve been slacking off on - this includes not doing any writing for myself lately, including blogging, and an essay I was supposed to submit a month ago.

> The giant hole in my budget caused by things such as unforeseen insurance premiums and ginormous roaming-inflated phone bills.

> Buffy season 3 - will it get less angsty, and how long do I have to wait for Spike to show up again?

> The glitch in the uni system that’s telling me I’ve failed a subject, which is highly improbable. I missed one class and got marked for all the assignments, so clearly someone screwed up somewhere along the line.

> The validity of buying a bustle skirt. This ties in with the previously mentioned costume window-shopping. Bustle dresses are too stupidly expensive to buy outright and I can’t justify having an eight hundred dollar dress sitting in my wardrobe for the occasional outing on halloween/fancy dress parties. It’s not exactly the right fit for a masquerade either, and that is generally where my "I must attend!" instincts go (and in my costume searchings I have found that there is a group that actually holds proper masquerade balls quite regularly). There is a masquerade ball at WorldCon in fact, so I’d like to get something that would do for both that and Halloween. Now I tried briefly to convince Em to make it for me – she wisely declined – and then thought hey, why not improvise? I have a dress I like to refer to as the Panic dress as I bought it with the then still vaudevillian Panic! At The Disco in mind. It is red with black lace overlay, tulle underskirt, and a corse-style top. I can get a red bustle to attach to it, make a matching long taffeta skirt to go underneath, and logically that should give me a layered, not quite historically accurate, bustle dress. Teamed with this red and black venetian mask I found on trusty eBay, gloves and fan I already own, and a Victorian velvet jacket, it should be a reasonable costume, right? Price wise, It should work out roughly the same as hiring a costume for a weekend would, and significantly less than actually getting a proper dress. Hmmm.

I have other things floating around this silly brain but sadly work beckons - but I'll be back to ramble some more later, never fear. Take a look at this in the meantime:

The Seven Stages of Grieving After Purchasing a Full-Price Hardcover Book You Later Find To Be Awful

A drink for the horror that I'm in
For the good guys, and the bad guys
For the monsters that I've been.
Three cheers for tyranny,
Unapologetic apathy
Cause there ain't no way I'm coming back again.

Best thing about Thursdays is being alone in the office and being able to give the trusty ipod free reign.

Music: Sleep - My Chemical Romance
Mood: Blah

Friday, July 16, 2010

We were always waiting for something to happen

"Do you suffer from nerd rage?" io9 asked. I didn't have an answer so I thought I'd best take their quiz and find out.

I scored a 4 on the nerd rage scale making me a *drum roll please*

Touchy Geek
Woe to the person who finds herself on the wrong end of an argument with you about your favorite thing, whether that's New X-Men or the Android OS. You've got really strong opinions, and you're not afraid to share them. Even in a really quiet place where everybody is looking at you. Luckily, there are only a few things that really set you off.

I got an IT Crowd clip for my trouble. Yay!

Ah dear. How far we've come.

Music: Great expectations - The Gaslight Anthem
Mood: Cold

Thursday, July 15, 2010

So you know that you're never on your own

I'm yet again sitting here, at a loss what to do. I'm fairly sure this isn't meant to happen and it makes me uneasy. What am I forgetting? WHAT? Is it all going to come crashing down on me at the last minute? I feel the answer to that will most probably be a resounding yes. I've got a meeting at 11 that I must try not to forget. And I have reception cover at 12.15. Bah. I like being in my little office where no one bothers me and I can sing along to my ipod (which I haven't charged, but hopefully half a battery will get me there.) I finally have speakers for it too, which is better than blasting through my earphones at least.

Yesterday I had the dubious honour of shifting through a bunch of image transparencies (or trannies for short - don't google that) of the magazines first five issues looking for specific projects and profiles. I found most of them, and earned a pounding headache for my trouble. I felt like a historian though, or like I was in a movie, squinting through that enlarger thing and holding stuff up to the light. It started off rather amusing. Still, glad we have digital technology. It's much easier just to ask the computer to search. I also reorganised our magazine stash, and am now contemplating organising the rest of the shelves. There's so much crap around the office that isn't even ours. I'm half tempted to chuck it all out, or get the warehouse to take it. I've earned the warehouse managers respect, so she'll do it for me I'm sure. It's always nice when people are willing to help you out with random crap.

Hmmm. I'm always chipper on a Thursday though, no idea why. Baffles me. Perhaps I've just been pushed so far to the brink of insanity by the earlier days, and Friday brings me back with the promise of weekend. Who knows?

Anyway, in non-work related news, we go Martha back yesterday. Ugh the poor thing. My dad isn't very happy with the job they did, so I said he can take it back to them, but I don't know what he wants me to do about it. Surprisingly, he has not been as grumpy about the entire incident as I had anticipated, though I know this will come back to bite me in future arguments (especially driving arguments...of which there are many). Ahem.

Oh, my editor is quite happy for me to apply for a press pass to WorldCon. That should be pretty cool if I'm approved.

Now I better email someone and see if they know why my email is having a little fit.

Music: Bonnie Taylor Shakedown - Hellogoodbye
Mood: Cold

Monday, July 12, 2010

So pretty


This is the latest image from the Hubble Telescope - a cluster of stars is surrounded by clouds of interstellar gas and dust—the raw material for new star formation. The nebula is located 20,000 light-years away in the constellation Carina.

Music: GNW
Mood: Thirsty

Sunday, July 11, 2010

We are all failures - at least the best of us are

She's sitting on a riverbank in a haze of golden sunlight. It's strange, she thinks, it was raining just a second ago. Memory of grey clouds, the dark horizon and the rumble of thunder echo somewhere in the back of her mind. It slips through her fingers, river over stone. The warm touch of sunlight on her skin melt away the thoughts in perfect rhythm to the titter of birds in the trees, the soft hum of insect wings. Her face tilts towards the light, sunflower instincts, a lone figure amongst the green. Encased in ethereal peace, she wonders...she wonders why it can't always be like this. It comes unbidden, sourceless, she has no recollection of how the magic came to be. Floating on air in these flashes of happiness, she hardly believes it will last. It's not her disposition to be optimistic. The sleepy-warmth of the air dulls her sense of self-preservation, and she so desperately wants to give in. Soon she will forget why it's dangerous to hold out, soon she will forget why she doesn't dare belief. In this glorious cathedral of summer, she forgets herself. The sunlight consumes her, lifts her, takes her. Only the wind can set her down.


Music: Drizzle of rain on the deck
Mood: Pensively mellow

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot

Give me mercy and a minute now,
I’ma bleed a little poison out,
I’ma cry a little river down,
Then I’m setting this whole thing on fire.
And I’m burning up the night she died.
I’m putting every last picture aside,
I’m gonna say what I need to say,
In my very last letter to you.

'Cause you always made it clear,
Said you’d never be my pain.
So here’s to you and your bright baby blues,
Just a pause to cool the refrain.
And you said were satisfied,
That this body just weighted the tide.
And that you missed him sometimes,
But you said it's all right,
It's just a whole lot harder alone.

But I, I wish you knew her now.
She’s the better side of me now.
I’m doing the best I can,
That's what you'd have wanted.
And I see like you were there,
I know just how you'd smile.
Mary, you looked just like, it was 1930 that night.

But here the days will eat you alive,
But I won’t give in tonight.
You said it's not worth my time,
And not to regard them.
And not to settle just for piece of mind,
I could wait it out all night,
If I just keep breathing...

But Mary, I found the sound,
And if this heart keeps pouring it out,
The glory hasn't come,
And it's probably gonna fade,
Like a tattoo that hides this shame.
But reasons always fade,
The pain gives out some day,
So I’m saying my goodbyes to your deep blue eyes,
Cause I don’t know how say, to stay still in the pain.
Stay still in the pain.

And if I recall the last thing you said to me,
Before it broke up, before it took you from me.
You said I love you more than the stars in the sky,
But your name just escapes me tonight.
(Nobody does it like you anymore)

Music: 1930 - The Gaslight Anthem
Mood: Pensive

The gunpowder treason and plot

Hmm pretty picspam is pretty.

From here.

Music: All these things that I've done - The Killers
Mood: Procrastinating, as per usual

Friday, July 9, 2010

I make plans to break plans

It’s strange how much you can care about people you barely know. But I suppose some people you just feel like you know, even if not in the necessarily conventional ways.

In news from the fandom front, I finished Changes, the latest Jim Butcher Dresden Files novel, last night. It's had quite the polarising effect on the fanbase by all accounts, but I'm fairly meh about it. I neither hate it, nor love it. I read it, it was alright, I don't particularly care what happens next. It's sad when series get to that point, but invariably they always do with me. I have traditionally had a very short interest span in things - I'd go all out into something for a couple of months, consuming it with an unholy passion, and then promptly lose interest. I burn myself out. The Whoniverse being the consistent exception to this rule. Anyway, I think Changes would have been far more effective if it had come two novels back. Back then if Harry
*SPOILER ALERT - R, I'M TALKING TO YOU - Skip to the end of the paragraph!* had taken up the mantel as Winter Knight, I would have still been all 'woo omg wow.' By this point however, I just think it's about damn time and 'ugh finally' is not the same great rush of reaction. I just didn't get into the story much either, yeah it was good and I read through it, but it just didn't grip me. I had no suspense or feeling towards it. And, perhaps the most sadly of all, I didn't think it was funny. That's a real shame, because I used to think the nerd humour in these books were hilarious. This didn't get a real laugh out of me at all - not even once. It makes me sad. I concede this is probably me, more than the book, but I wish people wouldn't let their series' drag on forever, working out of the same bag of tricks. This is the problem with fantasy books in general, I never know where we're going and after a while, I just don't see why I should care anymore. So yeah, good book, disappointed that it just doesn't work for me anymore. I think it's been downhill for me ever since Summer Knight.

It's been raining again steadily for the last two days. Not too amused by this. I miss the sun. Can't wait till summer when I actually get to drive home while it's still light. The magic, imagine! And weekends at the beach - hmm yes there will definitely have to be some of those.

I spent yesterday afternoon and this morning in an unproductive slump, thinking I didn’t have anything to do. Which I thought odd – after all, I am editorial assistant extraordinaire and I always have something to do. I figured I must be forgetting something – I figured right. So the afternoon was a mad scramble of sending out two issues’ worth of projects, working on the site and sorting out a deadline (the deadline I hadn’t forgotten about, and the internet stuff came up during the day – it was the projects that had slipped my mind). On the other hand, I’m definitely all caught up on everything that had piled up in the time before I’d been hired and my little break. All I have to do now is organise the shelves – but that’s more my OCD talking than actual necessity, and will have to wait for another day when I forget something and think I have time. Everything considered, I’m totally rocking this job, the editors love me. I work my ass off, but that’s what assistants are meant to do.

Besides that, I’m continuing on the social trend of 2010. I’m setting up a writer’s group with uni people, and hanging out with uni people, and going out on weeknights and weekends – it’s a whole new ballgame for me and I’m enjoying it. Tomorrow I have another one of my “Sure I’ll hang out with you, but this better not be a date” outings, and Sunday it’s one half of Lizzie’s belated birthday present as we head off to a comedy gig.

Other than that – well who knows. I vacillate between philosophical musings and apathy, as is my way. High, low, wishing I was somewhere else, enjoying what I have. I tire of having to play nice and pretend, so I no longer do. It’s brilliant to be free of certain personality traits that plagued me through adolescence – that’s one of the pros about growing up. I just don’t care anymore. Not all the time though, but certainly a lot more than it used to be. My mum said it would happen, but I didn’t believe her. She was right, of course, aren’t mothers always? Doesn’t change my fundamental biology though, and some days staying in bed with a good book still seems like the only way to cope. C’est la vie, I’ve resigned myself to my fate, I’m used to it. Still annoying sure, but used to it.

Hmm I don’t know what I’m really saying. I seem to have gone off on a random tangent. I guess…well, I guess it’s something.

Music: The phrase that pays - The Academy Is...
Mood: I'm rather peckish actually

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I guess we all need help

July, ladies and gentlemen, is my least favourite month of the year. Officially. I think from now on I'll just try to stay home as much as possible and not touch anything. Why, you ask? Well, because life sucks of course! Silly questions deserve silly answers as my mother would say. Psh.

Look, Tuesday was just the most fucked up day for me. Long-time readers of my nonsense blog may recall that July last year was when I realised I'd truly gone 'round the bend and was emotionally crippled. But anywho, been there, done that.

So Tuesday I'm driving to work when I have one of those sneezes - you know the kind I mean. The kind that seem to take forever to build up and you take like two good breaths before you sneeze so hard, you can feel your brain rattling round your skull. And as my head rocks forward, I'm greeted with a bang. I didn't sneeze that hard. (I'd like to make a side note that it is incredibly unfair that I was sneezing in the first place, I've been sniffly every morning for the last few weeks as I would normally be with hayfever - but it's winter. How is that fair??) No, while my brain was trying to cleverly escape through my nose, the car in front of me had stopped and I had bounced neatly off his tow bar. Oh yeah, this was a good start to the day. I might point out that this was morning traffic, not as bad as it normally is cause it's school holidays at the moment, so the cars were actually moving. We were slowly cruising along, only then suddenly we weren't.

To be honest with you, I still have no idea how it happened. It's just so bizarre! I think Lizzie and I may have discussed the dangers of sneezing and driving once, we most probably jinxed it. Aaaaanyway, the dude's car is perfectly fine as his tow bar cleverly protected him, but Martha is all bent out of shape. Not too bad, I think, Just a new bumper and number plate, bit of a bend out, she's good to go. So we exchange details, I try very hard not to make inappropriate comments about his name (one word: Batman) and decide to continue on to work. Now, this happened not even a km from where my dad had his epic bike crash last July and still quite close to home. Here is where we learn a vital lesson - if you're in an accident, pop the bonnet and have a look, even if it just looks like the bumper is a bit cracked.

I got about halfway to work before I realised the car didn't normally smell like burning. A bunch of lights didn't normally start flashing either. And, most importantly, the car generally didn't normally smoke lightly. As Martha abruptly died in the slightly-lighter-than-normal peak hour traffic, I flicked her into neutral and guided her to a painted island at a major intersection. Lesson number two - it pays to remember your brakes don't work in an automatic car when it's off.

I stayed in this spot for the next two hours, despite my valiant attempts to call a useless tow truck. I popped the hood (no billowing smoke, definitely a good sign) and immediately noticed that the bumper had pushed back into the fan, and that's why the car was overheating. I checked the oil and water just to be safe, all levels were fine with no cracks or leaks to be found. Another plus! Then I had to call *sigh* the parental unit. Surprisingly not as pissed as I expected - I think it helps that they haven't actually seen the car and therefore have no image to associate with the damage, making it less "real" if you will. Whatever, it works in my favour.

Long story short, the towing company was absolutely useless. I kept periodically getting out to check on the engine - the old fashion way, by touching it, I've earned a nice, small burn on my hand for my trouble (I iz hardcore mechanic, I iz!) - and complained about Top Gear a whole lot, actually (and why shouldn't I - have you seen what they do those cars? And when they blow up on the side of the road, they just get back in and drive off again later! You have given me false perceptions of my cars' limits, Top Gear, you should be ashamed of yourselves!) By ten thirty, I'd spent over 40 minutes on the phone to various people and decided enough was enough - I consulted my dad over the wisdom of my decision and then coaxed Martha back to life. The insurance agency assessment centre was just ten minutes away and I was muttering encouraging words to the poor cooked thing all the way there. And we made it, huzzah!

Some paperwork and nonsense later, I'm standing there as the assessor evaluates the damage and feeling like crap. I can't even explain how bad I felt, and still feel. Martha's not even a year old, she was in absolutely perfect, perfect condition. You think you can't feel bad for an non-sentient object? Think again. I couldn't have felt worse if I had run over a dog. She doesn't deserve this. Which brings me to another point - perhaps I doom our vehicles by the names I give them? Jack is the car that constantly returns to life without fail, and now Martha is damaged and doomed to go off somewhere on her own by someone who just didn't treat her right. At least we should be safe with the other car, what could possibly fell the Antichrist? [We actually mostly refer to it as the Canyonero these days - but that catches fire! No more!]

With that tremendous fuck up to my name, I finally managed to get to work at 11. I haven't heard anything back from the mechanic yet, but fingers crossed no major engine damage was inflicted by the overheating. I said fingers crossed people! Cross them! Baaaah *headdesk* Sigh.

But if last July taught me anything, it's that things can always get worse (and having permanently reset my threshold for mania) so I'm not dwelling on any of it or getting upset anymore. No, no time for that sort of thing. Now don't mind me while I lock myself in my room for the rest of the month.

[Next year, I'm declaring July Remembrance Month, a religious period of the Church of Gallifrey to make it legal, and taking the time off work. Why tempt fate?]

Music: Mona Lisa - The All American Rejects
Mood: Annoyed

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Hey look at me, I'm a target!

Okay, that episode was EPIC. Just...yeah. Thank you, Steven Moffat. I mean hell, there were even weevils. I adored the start of this episode, the continuity of referencing characters and scenarios from earlier in the series; I love that there's an alliance of all the "baddies" and I love how it still manages to be fun. He's got a good touch for balancing humour with action. The overall execution was brilliant as well. There are some discrepancies (of course) but it's just such a clever twist...but still, I'm not going to cast a final verdict till I've seen the next one. Aaaaah. Actually, the Torchwood fan in me is just happy. Yeah, I know that doesn't make sense, but whatever, I can't help it.

There was goblin, or a trickster. Or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. Nothing could stop it or hold it or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

I hate the good wizards in fairy tales, they always turn out to be you.

People fall out of the world sometimes, but they always leave traces...Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back.

Best thing about Who fandom though? No one can ever agree on what they like. I find that really amusing, everyone always likes something else - that's good I think, as long as everyone allows each other to like what they want, of course.

While on the topic of Who, I kinda want the Eleven Doctors Collectors Set, not that I have anywhere to put it.

Anyway, last night post-wedding, the girls and I were sitting around chatting and discussing the future - we've come to the conclusion that going overseas for some length of time is definitely something we want to do. So, depending on R's study commitments, we will be relocating to the UK for a year either in September, or November. That's the current plan at least. We're looking at six months in Cardiff, six months in Ireland somewhere (possibly Galway) - sticking to towns with a lot of universities (for work and possibly study purposes). Obviously, it'd be a working holiday type trip. But yeah. Hopefully we can organise it. I feel it's something I need to do, and I think they feel the same. We never had a gap year, and we might as well go out and get the experience while we still can. Might get a book out of it too. I realise that it's still over a year away, and things can change in that time, but we seem committed to it at this time and I thought I'd just put it out there.

Now it's back to Changes, the latest Dresden Files novel. Still to grab me really, but it's early chapters yet.

Music: Numb3rs
Mood: Cold

No one will do but you

Well, what a week it's been. It seems my answer to the coldest winter in 23 years is just to do as much as possible - I'd argue it's a vain attempt to stay warm but plans predated the weather forecast. But still, I've been a busy little working girl.

Despite the manic goings on at work (I don't even want to talk about it - get it done and let it go), I've been quite social. Tuesday night we hung out at R's place, devouring pizza and snuggling up to watch the first episodes of Harper's Island and Lost. I was obnoxious and took great joy in predicting everything before it happened and pointing out flaws in the stories. Lost did absolutely nothing for me. In fact, it seems like one of those shows that asks too much of you for too little return, until perhaps the last season, and I just can't be bothered investing in something like that. Especially if it doesn't grab me straight away, which it (unfortunately for all watching with me) didn't.

Wednesday night I headed off to the Ritz at Randwick for a Twilight triple feature with some uni people. It's such a cool cinema, one of those old-school ones that you just don't really see anymore these days. It was of course the premiere of Eclipse at midnight, but sadly I had to work so I only stayed for the first two. I actually enjoyed them much more on second viewing, and the company certainly helped. We'd make scathing comments and laugh, and generally just wonder why the film adaptations don't seem to manage to capture things the way the books did. It was a fabulous night out actually, it was so nice to just sit around chatting in between the films. Very enjoyable.

Yesterday, the trio of geek set off to the wedding of our high school friend, in floor length gowns and fears of being overdressed (we weren’t). We have been angling for invites to this wedding for the past three or four years, and had high hopes for something gothic and unconventional. Long story short, it was a fabulous wedding. Unconventional, for sure, and with a healthy touch of goth, but still so incredibly stylish. Bridesmaids wore all black, groomsmen had purple ties and handkerchiefs. The bride wore a floor-length corset-style dress with lace overlay in purple with black trims. From the castle like venue, the delicious Corpse Bride cake and the old school wedding car, everything just looked fantastic. The menu was chocked full of deliciousness, wonderful champagne, and music that ranged from Elvis an The Beatles to Billy Idol, HIM, NIN and the Offspring – the wedding dance was to Aerosmith. Definitely a wedding win, and I am genuinely so happy for them. That’s quite anew experience for me, since mostly at weddings I’m fairly blase, but I had a honest feeling of goodwill for everyone involved. I just couldn’t help thinking that if he’d met someone like my friends and I, he’d never have had that, and he clearly wants it. They both clearly do, so yeah, I’m glad they found it together. I may not get it, and I may think she may just be a bit too young to settle down, but we all have different priorities, and as long as they’re happy – well hey, good on them. And they’re so obviously happy – it’s not the dread I felt when a 21 year old married my cousin two years ago, where I just knew she was throwing her life away. So yay, wedding! It’s always nice to have an excuse to dress up every now and then.

Yum, cake!

> Random things:

1. It's been all over the interwebz that Johnny Depp has signed on to do a Doctor Who movie. I first saw this post on io9, and Doctor Who News ran the following in their weekly round-up post:

Last, but not least, is the revelation that Johnny Depp has "definitely" signed up to play the Doctor in a big-budget Hollywood movie, written by Russell T Davies and featuring the Daleks and the Ebola virus!

It’s all rumours, of course, but it still bears mentioning I feel. Now, I love Johnny Depp. Adore, love, whatever. But this does my head in. My mum keeps saying that it could work because Johnny is so good when it comes to interpreting characters, and always does it with his own twist – but...it’s the Doctor. I can’t reconcile the two. For any interested parties, here is quite a comprehensive article on it from Digital Journal, speculation being what it is.

2. To dovetail with an upcoming X-Men story arc, Marvel have launched a series of "vampire variants" covers. Four were featured here on io9, including a vamped out Iron Man and The Hulk.

3. Earlier in the week I couldn't help wondering what has happened to my bands. A few years ago, FBR were the tightest (and rather incestuous) labels around, their bands were blowing up big time, and I was right there for the ride. And now, it's all gone. Panic split up, Fall Out Boy disbanded, Travis is releasing solo songs, Cute is all messed up, Cobra seem to have bought in on their own joke, and frankly, who knows what any of the others are doing, most of the time it doesn't seem like much - I just remember how tight they all used to be, and how much it all meant to me, and I wistfully realise that my mum was right. I changed. Things changed. Doesn't mean I can't think about it.

On that note, apparently Pete has a new band - Black Cards.

4. Words aren't adequate for this.



I have other things to mention, but Doctor Who is on. Excitement! Pandorica! River! Time Agent references! Fuck yes.

Must go. Ramble later.

Music: Goodbye young tutor, now you've ougrown me - Say Anything
Mood: Thirsty

It's not always a positive thing

There was that whole weird thing with the horses
I think they know exactly what happened
I don't think it needs any explaining
I'm pretty sure I wasn't your first choice
I think I was the last one remaining
I wish we hadn't gone and destroyed it
Cause I was thinking we could pull another weekender
You've still got a bit of clairvoyance

I remember the metal bar
I remember the reservoir
You could say our paths had crossed before

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that I can deal with it
You and I both know it's a negative thing
In the end only the girls know the whole truth

There were a couple pretty crass propositions
There were some bugs in the bars
There was a kid camped out by the coat check
She said the theme of this party's the industrial age
And you came in dressed like a train wreck

I remember the O.T.B
The five-second delivery
You could say our paths have crossed before

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that I can deal with it
God only knows it's not always a positive thing
To see a few seconds into the future

And if you swear to keep it decent
Then yeah I'll come and see you
But it's not gonna be like in romantic comedies
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

So if it has to be a secret
Then I guess that I can deal with it
You and I both know it's a negative thing
In the end only the girls know the whole truth

And if you swear to keep it decent
Then yeah I'll come and see you
But it's not gonna be like in romantic comedies
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

In the end only the girls know the whole truth
In the end I bet no one learns a lesson

Music: The weekenders - The Hold Steady
Mood: Sore