Sunday, May 31, 2009

What is the question?

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?
To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd.
To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Music: Hum of technology
Mood: Exhausted and borderline despondent.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Mixtape May 09

Here be the songs that were on heavy rotation this past month.

Green Day, 21 Guns - Like I said in my previous post, this is the song that clicked straight away.

Pink, So What - There's something about this song that is just so much fun. Great when I'm walking to uni and trying to ward off the threatening gloom of education.

Mindless Self Indulgence, Shut me up - Always gets me into a 'get up and go' mood. Particularly good when stressed out - in a minute, in a fucking minute!

Forgive Durden, Beware the Jub Jub bird and shun the frumious badnersnacth - I always enjoy "re-discovering" Forgive Durden every now and then. One of those impossibly eloquent bands littered with references and intertextuality - I am powerless to resist. This one gets top points cause it has the brilliant line, "I want to sink my teeth into skin I can't see through". I love it.

Fall Out Boy, w.a.m.s - Out of all the Folie a Deux tracks, this one probably got played the most. That whole album deserves to be on this list actually. It was definitely the soundtrack for May. I must have listened to it continuously for at least two and a half weeks, easily.

Envy on the Coast, Lapse - I just can't get enough of this album! I don't know what it is but I find myself listening to it very regularly.

Ludo, Topeka - Ludo bring the sick and twisted back to the party. Brilliant.
I found God in a catalytic converter, in Topeka on a Monday night. I taste blood every time I think of summer, if that’s true, I’m in for quite a treat. Cause I’m begging for the sun in a mid-Missouri winter, waiting desperately to get out of town. No, you can’t keep a good man down. You’ve been known to obsess over the future. Do you think you’ll get away from the past? As you starve yourself just to make it through ‘til midnight, consider what you might have found. You think you’ve got a good thing now. I found God in a catalytic converter, in Topeka on a Monday night. Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future, so you know it keeps me hanging around. No, you can’t keep a good man down.

I honestly can't think of what else I listened to this month. I can't access my iTunes cause the IT boys have the connection for my external drive (they're trying to find me a new one). But between my weird as hell study playlist and listening to the Green Day and Fall Out Boy albums, I don't think May had much diversity. So there ya go.

Music: The Static Age - Green Day
Mood: Blaaaaah

Fugitive of critical mass

"You see this? This is a fucking expensive dress. Do you know what we do with expensive dresses? We don't close them in the fucking door! And what are you doing in my closet in the first place????"

My continued existence is questionable. I am either going to commit homicide and be locked up (which would significantly lower my chance of survival cause I can't think of anything worse), or I am going to spontaneously combust and leave, as the Spinal Tap boys would say, a stain in my wake.

Nigel: He exploded on stage.
Derek: Just like that.
David: He just went up.
Nigel: He just was like a flash of green light... and that was it. Nothing was left...There was a little green globule on his drum seat...It was more of a stain than a globule, actually.

I didn't sleep last night. Well, I slept maybe an hour or so. So had more of a nap really. I wasn't tired at all. Of course the nap ruined it and I had to struggle out of bed this morning. I often think that instead of trying to force normality onto my insane sleep patterns, I should just push through and pull an all nighter. I think I might be better off. I'm not tired now either. Buzzing. It's almost like jetlag but without the sick feeling. One good thing about not sleeping though, around 1.30ish they released a new TW trailer for BBCA. Update came through while I was on twitter so I got straight on it. It looks so, so amazing. That bit where Gwen does the video actually made me shiver a little - it just reminds me of the Miranda thing in Serenity.

However, back on point, this all really comes down to a simple principle - either my fandom kills me first, or I'm going to kill my father.

Here now follows rambling regarding the majority shareholders of my soul.

I'm forming an attatchment to 21st Century Breakdown. I've been listening to it on my drive to work. It's like mashing Warning and American Idiot together. There's a vibe here that recalls the way I feel about the last two Living End albums, but there's something about Green Day that's just so quintessentially them, you can recognise it anywhere. It will always trigger a certain reaction for me, I can't help it. It's as if it's coded into my DNA. I love that they're still doing this sort of medley thing with songs, the change on the first (well, second technically) track totally won me over. I wasn't too keen on 'Know your enemy' when I first heard the single (or saw the video rather), but it's grown on me. I'm also partial to 'Before the Lobotomy'. 'Christian's Inferno' reminds me of something, I don't know what. It's almost like listening to the Pistols. 'Last Night on Earth' on the other hand reminds me of the Beatles only because it recalls "I'll send all my loving to you" lyrically. In one line, but still! It's a valid point. You know in the Simpsons, whenever Homer isn't paying attention, he hears this circus-type music playing in his head? Well, in those situations, what I hear is the riff from 'East Jesus Nowhere'. It just took this album to make me realise that. I think this song is AI consequential. It's one of those that make me straighten up and march around like I own the place, thinking "C'mon, start a fight, I dare you." So yes. I looove it. I also love 'Peacemaker'. I'm just partial to this style - 'Misery', 'Hitchin' a ride' and 'Last ride in' are all favourites and they all channel the same vibe. 'Viva La Gloria? [Little Girl]' sort of reminded me of 'Mama' (which was one of my favourite Black Parade tracks from the start) when I first heard it. Only without the theatrics and Liza Minelli. But I suppose it ties in with what I said before about being partial to this sort of style. Little girl, little girl, you're such a liar. You're just a junkie preaching to the choir. I think that one's going to inspire much love in the future. Judgement is still out on 'Restless Heart Syndrome'. The first line makes it seem as if Billie's songwriting skills were taking a break. It jars and puts me off centre. It is just the first verse really, so I might still get over that. When I first listened to the album, the Horseshoes and Handgrenades section was my favourite. I love the title track, and 'The Static Age' has one of those easy choruses that you pick up in seconds. '21 Guns' is my standout. It's the one that clicked from the first listen and I think it's going to be the one that defines the album for me [like She, Walking Contradiction, Haushinka, Macy's Day Parade and Letterbomb before it.] The medley thing (there must be an actual name for this) puts in another appearance in 'American Eulogy' in which I favour the second part. Mike! Hee! It reminds me of 'Homecoming' because I am ridiculously fond of Tre's part in that and would often sit through the whole thing just to get to it and act like a loon. Not that the whole song isn't amazing, but you know *shrugs* Although there are no epically long songs on this album, so it's not really an issue. It is quite long though, coming in at 18 tracks. That's not really something you see all that much of these days. Then again, you don't see bands taking 5 years to record an album anymore either.

All this is well and good, but considering that I would follow this band off a cliff probably taints my judgement somewhat. The fact of the matter is simply that I still completely adore these boys. I worship at the altar of Billie Joe and co, I have been for years and probably will forever. And you know what, they're damn good at what they do, and they make me happy. That's all that matters.

Music: Last of the American Girls - Green Day
Mood: Annoyed

Friday, May 29, 2009

Fingers stained with yesterday's highs and lows

My dad has ordered pizza...again. Now I love pizza as much as the next person, but there's only so much of something you can have before you want to never see it again...or not for a while at least.

I have had a highly unproductive day. I suck.

Speaking of sucking, I discovered a Sum41 song today that does not in fact suck. I never thought that would ever happen. Amazing!

Other than that I'm rediscovering Forgive Durden. Oh and I've been listening to 21st Century Breakdown, which is growing on me, as I suspected it would.

My destiny
Wasn't written in the stars.
It's been meticulously planned
And presented in a chart.
A flawless design
To truly satisfy.
You want results?
Look at the fucking smile
On my face.

Music: Ear to ear - Forgive Durden
Mood: Procrastinating

Don't let me get me

This is getting to a completely embarrasing point. I've never been such a horrific fangirl about anything in my life (except possibly the first time Panic toured...and TAI toured...oh and the first time I got Green Day tickets). I seriously just had to stop myself from combusting in the surgery. Instead I emitted a strangled choking noise which nearly caused me to hyperventilate. The patients all looked at me as if I'm insane. Which, all things considered, is a valid concern. One half of my brain is observing this with complete disgust and thinking "you fucking loser" and yet, I can't help myself. The phrase 'my fandom wants me dead' never seemed more apt.

From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Red balloons go by

I am in love with the new Torchwood promo pics. I saw this one this morning and my brain just short-circuited.

[I stole the pic from here]

Presentation went ok. I talked way too fast which I always do, but I got through everything and it looked like I engaged with text so yeah. It went well with the other guy's presentation too, so I think we did ok. We got an extention on our essay as well, so now I have a little more room to work with. I'm going to try and still get it done, cause I don't want to have a situation where I'm still doing it the night before you know.

I also got my first assignment back. The tutor was saying how we all did well, but she was marking really hard and that she would be nicer with our next assignment. I was of course worried, especially since I hadn't picked up my assignment last week like most of the others so I had no idea how to take her talk about it. Anyway, she handed mine over and it turns out I got a high distinction. I never know how to feel about this. I always look at the others and I think how hard they try, and then I look at me bitching and moaning and feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, but I get this mark. Especially since they all think I don't care. It's not that I don't care, of course I care - we all want to do as well as we can after all, it's just that I realised a long time ago that with the odd way my brain is wired, I can't afford to let myself worry about these things. I would drive myself mad. My perfectionism fried me in high school and I can't do that again. I can't deal with that. So I take this cae sera sera attitude to save myself the heartache. So I feel a bit conflicted when I get these marks, but at the same time, it feels wonderful to think I can actually do this shit. It doesn't matter if I can't discuss it in class or spout theory from the top of my head, I can engage with it in my work, and that's something. So they might think I'm a very strange person who hardly ever talks, makes stupid jokes they don't get, and stares at them blankly, but in the end my work is solid. It's vindication in a sense. I suppose that's good.

With the presentation done and work slightly better spaced out, I've taken the evening to unwind. Revelling in the state of fandom bliss induced by the above referenced pics, I decided to watch some Firefly. I never got around to finishing the season. I'm up to episode 10 now. It is such a great show. I also came to the conclusion today that Simon was quite cute.

Anyway, I am so desperate for chocolate, I'm eating coco puffs. Seeing as I only got four hours sleep yesterday, I think it'd be best if I headed to bed.

Oh, before I forget - congratulations to Lyn-Z and Gerard Way who welcomed Bandit Lee Way into the world yesterday (I think it was yesterday, bah time zones!) The news was confirmed by Mikey Way on trusty twitter. I am overwhelmed by the urge to go out and buy punk baby clothes - converse, misfits jumpsuits and the like. So, so adorable. I'm sure it's going to be a very cute, very quirky kid. My, how the rockstar brood continues to grow!

Music: Seinfeld
Mood: Gleeful

Lead me through the fire

There's a great blog about 'Transient Modern Music' up over here. It has valid argument and if I wasn't so tired, I'd have something more to say about it.

I have to do my presentation today on non-place/cyberspace. I dont know if it's long enough, but I have a powerpoint *waves quotes around* I'm kind of worried since she doesn't want us to be reading off notes or anything, but I just haven't learnt it word for word yet. I can vaguely natter on I suppose. I'm good with vague. I am torn between hoping they interrupt with comments and really wishing they wouldn't, I doubt I could actually lead a discussion on this. I just know what I wrote for the presentation.

Blah. Presentations. I was promised in High School that I'd never have to do them again, I feel like I should sue someone.

Once this is done, I still have the presentation of my proposal which I have to do tonight/tomorrow, as well as my creative piece and essay for cultural studies. I think I'll try to do my essay tomorrow/saturday, and then a draft of my creative piece has to be done by Tuesday. I'll email a copy to Mandy as well.

Almost there. As Dory would say, just keep swimming...

Oh.MY.God. I just fangirl squeed like the fucking loser I am. I suspect my inner fangirl actually suffered a heart attack. This is probably for the good of the nation. I don't need her rambling on about fandoms during my presentation today [even though a) I make reference to Dollhouse, and b) I show a clip from Big Bang Theory at the end].

Better run through it again *sigh*

Here - have a lolcat

Music: Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
Mood: Sleepy

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Now I get what I want

Ok I think I can get into this Castle show, it's quite amusing. It reminds me a bit of Californication if you replace the sex and dysfunction with murder. Wait. That sounded wrong.

Remind me to go to Supanova this year. It's the only real convention we have around here and it's worth just putting in an appearance to for once not feel like the geekiest person on the planet. Although last night I found out Face from the A-Team is going to be there. It completely cracked me up, I do believe I flailed at my mother. He was also Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica, who is of course a girl in the new series. I actually read something interesting on that while doing research for my cyberspace presentation. In an essay [Write something on my wall: Body, Identity and Poetry by Kazim Ali], the argument opens with a parallel between the old and new Starbuck, to illustrate how body is like a signature. Anyway, it goes on to the following - "One's second thought was to look back at the original Starbuck character and asks was the sexual tension between Apollo and Starbuck always there? If you look at those old episodes, you will agree that it was." And in there somewhere is a commentary on why sci-fi spawned slash. I love the concluding remark on that paragraph though - "The past writes the present, but the present always returns the favour." I have an appreciation for cyclical arguments.

In other news, our phone number here appears to have been used by a variety of business before being allocated to us. People keep ringing for print cartridge refills and tree removals (apparantly, it's in the yellow pages for that one). The best part is when I explain to people that this is now a residential number and they still ask me if I know who could help them or if I could offer any advice *shakes head* I also have a feeling the owner is some sort of conman and keep expecting the Mafia to show up, asking for the pretzel money. Then again I do have an overactive imagination and spent years convinced the people across the road were dealing drugs (it turned out they were music teachers). My way of looking at the world is far more interesting.

The only other pressing concerns I have at this moment is the fact that I can't breathe if I lean forward and that I appear to be having random heart palpatations. As I mused on twitter, I'm too young to have a heart attack, right?

Speaking of Twitter, the police are on it! How freaking random is that? It started as a hoax but then they thought it was a good idea. Oh, technology, you weird thing.

Now, random photos:

- This is what I meant by "hill in the backyard"

- This be my room.

- I need to get something up above the bed. Thinking of those big photoframes that has all different sized slots on the inside. That's a fail description, I know. Something black and white, at any rate. I'm getting a canvas printed of one of my Paris pics to put up on the wall joining my study and my bedroom.

- This be my study, it's a bit dark from this angle. The Saxon Green (hee!) is way brighter than that.

- And the other angle. Look, I have room for more books and dvds! It makes a nice change. Also look at the epic amounts of uni work strew about. Sigh.

- Finally, here's Oreo. It's blurry, because as everyone who's ever tried knows, she hates photos. Photobucket

The only things that I still really need to do is organise the right side of my wardrobe, get the full length mirror and new desk chair from IKEA, print new photos and the canvas piece, and paint the bathroom. Oh and find out what that weird fucking smell is that I can't seem to get rid of in any permanent way. It's gross.

Grrr. My parents are constantly bickering and arguing and it's driving me bloody insane. I can't work under these conditions!

Where did I put that iPod...

[I have concocted such a bizarre "study" playlist, I've updated it on here too]

Music: Since you been gone - Kelly Clarkson
Mood: Working

Monday, May 25, 2009

Next to heartbeats

I ache. I ache and I am unhappy. Sigh.

Slept absolutely terribly last night due to the fact that every time I blinked, I could see someone lying next to me out of the corner of my eye. Of course there was no one there, but it felt extremely odd and slightly creepy. I could possibly have freaked myself out by wandering in the backyard around midnight looking for Oreo (it's very rocky, and kind of slopes in other words, tiny hill in backyard) when there was this noise exactly like in Countrycide. That high pitched squeal/shout/bark sound. See, that episode still creeps me out.

I'm not going to uni tomorrow. Instead I shall try to get on top of this uni work, which is killing me. It doesn't matter if I can barely see straight, it has to be done damn it!

Oh [this is for you Abs] I came across another TW crossover Fall Out Boy song today, 'My heart is the worst kind of weapon.' Seriously. It's perfect.

I started writing something at work today, which I might post up as a flash. It just needs an intro. I also started brief paragraphs for two other things. I'm in one of those moods. And I want to draw. Which is always an odd mood when it takes me. Mostly because it's endlessly frustrating since I can't actually draw that well, and because I am a perfectionist, I can't stand anything I'm not good at and always give up. This is one of my worst attributes. I want to try and change that sometime, when I've got more free time or something, maybe take classes in things. I don't know. End of the year I'm definitely taking language classes though. French and German I think. But anyway, yes. I was talking about my writing mood. It sucks feeling like ideas are right beneath the surface, that all you have to do is reach out and take them, when you know you can't really. You're meant to be writing other things, focusing on other things, you don't have time for this fickle inspiration business right now.

It's not much fun.

Ah well, back to the figurative uni drawing board.

Music: Summer wind - Frank Sinatra
Mood: Have been better

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Forever and always

"we need society so that we can sit just at the edge of it and critique it but every once in awhile we need to sneak in and warm ourselves on the fire. there is a grace to rolling, to the perfect spiral. but there is no grace in going end over end. its an amusement park ride at best- but at worst it is light and dark, dawn and dusk, spinning end over end so fast that it becomes a blur."


O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention.
~ William Shakespeare


I can steal the universe, trap it beneath my heart. Words, promises, breaths that linger in the still night air, that builds and tears apart. Convergence in the darkness, trysts in contemplation. It's in the resonance of fragile expression, in the mirror it upholds. It gives light to vindication within self doubting hesitation. Moments when everything reverberates, and is there for the taking. Stretch a dream and let go.


I know you think you know,
But these eyelids are windows that shut you out
From all the things that I don't want you to know.
And I refuse to tell you one single secret I own.
'Cause you'll find I'm petrified of your eyes.


EDIT 22:52 -

Random shit I feel like talking about but don't feel like starting new post. Firstly, my head is screaming as if an ADD four year old is trapped inside and has been denied a toy. Full tantrum mode. To compliment this feeling, the very act of breathing hurts in a fashion that pulls from my lungs straight to the top of my right ear. Odd I know, but that's the feeling. Finally, my soul is leaking from my ear in a flood of untapped inspiration that can't be nailed down in a productive manner.

Overall, productivity continues to escape me. This very statement brings its own wheelbarrow of luggage to the table, most of which takes the form of tight knots in my stomach that make the four year old in my head scream all the louder.

I would also like to point out two of my biggest issues with TW fanfiction. Firstly, Ianto is not a girl. Quite frankly, I don't understand why you want to portray him as such. If convention is your thing, why don't you write a Grey's Anatomy fic or I don't know, something else. Secondly, there is no fucking way Ianto knows about Jack's immortality before the season 1 final. In absolutely no way can that make sense. Just look at his face when Owen kills Jack, just look at it.

God I have such a volatile relationship with fanfiction. I just don't think I'm geared to putting up with it. And you know, I wouldn't have to put up with this level of disappointment if they'd just give me a new damned season already.

Mu night has taken a very petulant turn. Sore and tired. Looking for a way out.

Music: Starving your friends - Envy on the Coast
Mood: Working

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I know just what you are

Google toolbar has done the most brilliant thing to my tabs default page. I don't know how it happened, but one day I suddenely had lovely "most visited" blocks with 'recently closed tabs' and 'recent bookmarks' links. It makes everything so much more efficient. How exactly does one live without google? I can't remember anymore. I have also mastered the art of PayPal...which no doubt sends a chill through everyone who knows my penchant for eBay.

In other news, came across the following over at TV Tropes this morning when I was procrastinating researching something:
Regarding the Doctor Who episode Journey's End: The Doctor Who Adventures magazine reveals that the Doctor left Rose and his human counterpart with a chunk of the TARDIS (presumably so they can go off and have their own adventures), a detail which has a huge impact on the ending shown in the episode. The scene was shot and was boxed with the DVD set. Russell T. Davies has stated that whether we acknowledge it is our own choice.

How have I missed this? How??

Also realised this morning that my download of the final episode of Merlin doesn't work. WOE.

On the side, I'm having a minor nervous breakdown over all this uni work while my head threatens to split open and unleash a small army sentient alien nails! Since it feels like that's what is driving into my skull.

Music: Womanizer - Britney Spears (what is it with this song?)
Mood: the maaaaax

Friday, May 22, 2009

My heart is blue for you

I've been to the hairdresser so instead of these whimsical time wasting posts I've been doing the last couple of days, we can now have a gossip filled post!

First, let's start with American Idol. Oh America, why must you be so so dull and predictable? Did you never for a moment stop and think how amazing it would be to have a black president and a gay idol? It would have done wonders for your image! I am certainly of the opinion that it would have been fantastic, but alas, it was not to be. I have no doubt Adam will have some sort of career regardless though, the boy is brilliant. He just pulls off the craziest shit with such confidence, and is such a convincing performer. He totally outsung everyone when they did 'We are the champions'. He truly made this a fascinating competition, well worth watching just to see what he'd do each week. Here's hoping something comes of it.

Due to my lack of interaction with general mainstream society, I didn't even know about this rumour. These things only happen because they're hot. What interests me more than anything in this is that Chuck's been cast as Heathcliffe! That can only be good. He seems perfect for it. And yes, here continues my long tradition of calling actors by the characters they play. Once it sticks, it sticks. Just ask Cedric.

Today also marks the first day of my new "I can't believe I'm STILL waiting" count. I will be exorcising my airdate demons via this platform. I am also starting a countdown, entitled "Judgement Day", which will be keeping track of the days until my thesis is due. Fun and games.

In other news, it's raining like the armageddon is upon us, and all I want to do is make some pancakes and curl up in bed watching movies. Which I might as well do since it's not like I get any work done sitting here. I just try to fool myself. Sigh. Procrastination, you vile fiend! That said, I did watch the first episode of Castle today, which wasn't bad actually. Nathan Fillion ftw.

Tomorrow night it is 80s movie night at Roze's place. I'm taking Labyrinth and a substantial amount of alcohol. Well I have to, they want me to sit through Footloose and Dirty Dancing.

UKTV are having a Torchwood Season 2 marathon 6/7 June. The ad goes on about the "global Children of Earth event" which I hope means we'll be getting it the same time as the UK. Anyway, it bodes well! I've become progressively more insane the longer I am forced to wait...anyone who knows me can no doubt confirm this. I'm half beginning to suspect it's all a plot for world domination - they drive us mad with anticipation and then they trigger us to take over the world. I'll be sure to warn everyone when I start losing my memory, concealing weapons, or coming home drenched in blood.

Isn't that a nice picture to leave things on?

Hopes for the weekend include completing my presentation, my creative draft, my research, and the Crusaders winning as they have somehow miraculously managed to make it into the semi-finals. Hee.

Music: Rock&Roll Queen - The Subways
Mood: Cold

Thursday, May 21, 2009

A chance to miss

‘What an author planned to do, or thought they were doing in producing a text is one kind of information we can gather about a text, but is it often unreliable, and it is only one kind of information amongst other. We make our own judgments about people, and do not simply accept that they are what they think themselves to be.’ (Stephen Bygrave, Romantic Writings, p.13, Open University Press)

Last line of that pretty much sums up what I want to show in my thesis.

Open Library is worth checking out if you're ever looking for something to read. As is Classic Reader actually.


The soft sounds of summer wrapped around them, a fragile cocoon envolping them even as they drew apart. Not far, never far. A hand lingered on an arm, thumb circling pale skin. A ghost of a touch like the ghost of breath on a cheek. Whispered words that caress the shell of an ear. There is nothing but sensation. An unscripted moment in a world of expectation and routine. We don't believe in fairies, and all our deaths are foretold. Yet the heavy air blankets the moment, allowing that cocoon a chance to grow, shield, and prolong. For a second, life is gossamer and silk, instead of the soap and water of childish bubbles from a carnival wand. An enchantment that lasts until dawn crawls over the horizon, one day to be found again, like silk patterns pressed between the pages of an old and worn leatherbound book. The night's heavy with promises and the wind bristles with memory, and somewhere, sometime, there are lovers dancing in the rain. So we dance in flights of fancy.


Yet all is well; he has but passed
To Life's appointed bourne:
And alien tears will fill for him
Pity's long-broken urn,
For his mourners will be outcast men,
And outcasts always mourn.

Now then, who's going to make me some coffee?

Music: So what - Pink
Mood: Annoyed

More important than static cling

"What have we learnt from this, Sidney? Your friends are shit heads..."

*spins on chair*


I don't much feel like doing anything.

And damn but this American Idol finale is such a huge production.

Music: Time after time - Cindy Lauper
Mood: Silly

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The quiet things no one ever knows

I'm am I feeling? Hm...idyllic. But not in a conventional sense. I want to write and breathe and love and laugh. I want to sit around a bonfire as twilight settles in. I want to breathe in life and just let it wash over me. I want to feel and hurt and see all the shades of grey that consitutes the supposed black and white of the everyday. I want to be in this world of everything, and nothing, all at once. Let it flow. I'm comfortably torn between two songs.


She said, "No one is alone, the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough of her to hang on


Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart

They say that promises
Sweeten the blow
But I don't need them
No, I don't need them
I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this

I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet
Love of my life
Oh, I need this

Is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
Hold your breath
Kiss me now, you'll catch my death
Oh, I mean it

Music: The soft hum of my laptop
Mood: Pensive

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

It all becomes the same old song

I have had a rather strange day. It started with me rushing around like a headless chicken and being halfway out the door before I realised I was supposed to go in late today. So I could have had another hour's sleep. Fail. Traffic was horrendous and it took me way longer to get to work than expected, so perhaps it was all for the best.

I was completely nonchalant about uni today since I was so sure I was going to get the disappointed look for my absolutely ludicrous work on the dreaded Proust essay of Doom (as it is now known). So I took my time, tried to supress my headache, and ended up half an hour late for class. Our lecturer started discussing our essays and I ducked my head in preparation, but lo and behold, he turns around and says it was really interesting and he liked where I was going. I look comically befundled. When he asks whether I've considered a PhD or Masters in this field particularly with regards to maybe French Literature or, I assume, reader response theory, I start suspecting alien involvement. Spores? Pollens? Hallucinogenics in the water supply? I never know whether on some level I actually do know what I'm doing despite my obvious confusion and that it's all just a matter of self-doubt, or whether I am just an exceptionally good fraud. Of course I am an idiot and I find myself sitting there thinking, "Hey, a PhD in French Literature would be pretty cool! Sure I'd have to learn French properly, but I could go overseas! And I'd have tons of time to work on it." Yes Jen, because you aren't suffering enough with the god forsaken research degree you're doing. Someone just shoot me before I do some serious damage to myself. I mean really, what is wrong with me? Do I have no sense of self-preservation when it comes to academia? I'm not even that good at it, I just stumble along and pretend to know what I'm doing. Actually no, I don't even do that. I just stand around looking unimpressed and smiling to myself cause it's better to laught than to cry. Bah.

In other news, my neck and lower back is really sore and stiff. I'm considering going for a massage. Also, a manicure. Perhaps a day spa. Hmm, day spa.

I'm also thinking of taking off for a month just to write somewhere. Writer's retreat! Although it's much better in the new house, since I have the back of the place pretty much to myself. With all the trees, the river, and the birds, it almost feels like camping when I stumble out early in the morning.

I actually had something else I wanted to say, but I've completely forgotten, so have this instead:

Random note, on Good News Week last night they made a total nerd joke - something along the lines of a pi-some, like a threesome only it goes on forever. It just cracked me up. I love that show, even when it descends into various levels of smut within in like o.2 seconds.

Also, random thing I just did -
INFJ - "Author". Strong drive and enjoyment to help others. Complex personality. 1.5% of total population.
[More info on this type here]

Music: The (shipped) gold standard - Fall Out Boy
Mood: Confused

Monday, May 18, 2009

A quick note

THIS rumour disturbs me. But seeing as it's the sun, I won't put much stock in it. But seriously, Timothy Dalton?, thanks. He was an absolutely woeful Bond. Wooooeful. No one can convince me otherwise.

I'm too lazy and warm to formulate anything more than that. Nothing productive is happening, work sucked all my energy, am about ready to sleep until next month...or until Season 3 premieres. Which might turn out to be a bit of a Rip van Winkle case, but hey, at least I won't have to stand around waiting. Seriously BBC, what are you doing? I feel like getting Robert Langdon on the case, who cares about the Church, what's happening at the bloody BBC? Conspiracy theory people! It's the Illumnati! And so on and so forth. Bah. It's too tiring to even contemplate. I mean really, are they trying to put people off this show? It's a very Channel 10 approach to take to things, keep jerking people around until they stop watching, then we just drop it mwahaha. They cannot do that to me. They cannot. My inner River Tam will take over. Everyone has been warned. Look, my sanity teeters on a fine edge as it is with all this damned uni bullshit, do I really need to be pushed?


Now I'm going to watch Countrycide. Sorry Honours, there just isn't anything left of me to dedicate to you. Soul has clearly been divided and sold, try somewhere else.

Music: 21 Guns - Green Day
Mood: Sleepy

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I become what I can't be

Trying to convince my mum she wants to make hot chocolate is proving more difficult than I deem absolutely necessary.

Two quick things, both related to the twittersphere I guess:

1) I want one of these Losers of Friday Night on their Computer shirts! That was the most random, most fun things I've woken up to in a while. And though it wasn't technically Friday night for me at the time, I totally got behind the concept. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it was started by the every brilliant Amanda Palmer and inadvertently ended up taking over the place for a little bit. You can read about it here. It was like one of those cultish, mega-quick things that instil that "oh you had to be there!" reactions and thus I feel it warrants a shirt.

2) What is with these damned Octopus USB drives being peddled by Mark Hoppus and Pete Wentz/related FBR crew? I mean hell, when did USB drives become something of merch-esque standard? There's something in there about how technologically dependent we've become as a society but I'm damned if I can find it. Again, if you don't know wtf I'm on about - here, here and here.

Oh, saw the most adorable thing waiting for the train yesterday. There was a couple waiting next to me, and one was fussing with his scarf, trying to get it to sit right I suppose. Anyway, the minute he was satisfied with it and let it go, his boyfriend yanked him forewards with it, effectively ruining his work. The expression on his face was so priceless! It was one of those long suffering "if I didn't like you so much I'd kill you" looks.

Also, random sidenote, I have forgotten how stunning this was.

Music: Stop and stare - One Republic
Mood: Relaxed

If you want my love you've got it

I'm so lazily content at the moment I might never move again. I've had such a great weekend and am in such a good mood that even the impending threat of due assignments can't touch me. Why can't I always feel like this? My room gets the best afternoon sun too, so it really doesn't make moving a priority. Friday I was lying here, listening to the new Green Day album, and Oreo was napping with me, randomly barking at the curtain when the wind blew. She's such a loon, it was adorable.

Last night I hung out with Roze and it just lovely. It feels like I haven't seen her in months but its only been a few weeks, time's just been totally messed up lately. Anyway, we saw Wolverine, which is quite enjoyable. Gambit is made of win, obviously. And Hugh Jackman, I mean come on, can't go wrong can you? I think it would have been better though if I hadn't seen Star Trek first. It really just is that good. As far as hyped movies for the year go, it totally blew the others out of the water. [Um the watchmen anyone? Pfft.] Wolverine was way better than
the last X-Men movie at any rate.

We had dinner and just caught up on everything, confirmed our plans for Roze's 80s Movie night this Saturday. I'm making Sangria! And possibly Irish Coffee if I acquire some Jameson. I've discovered this cocktail book I bought ages ago with my shaker. That's the one good thing about moving, you discover things you forgot you had.

I didn't sleep well last night, and by that I mean barely slept at all, so I think I'm entitled to be lazy and spaced out in my room, right? Right. No one bothers me back here, it's lovely.

Tomorrow - work. Blah.
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Friday, May 15, 2009

Set phasers to stun

I have had the best night out tonight. Em and I got our times mixed up and ended up seeing Star Trek. It is FANTASTIC. It's funny without being stupid, and just totally gleetastic. It is everything you'd want from a movie. Left feeling totally hyper. We headed over to the gig afterwards, had a couple of drinks and such. Em is such a darling for being convinced to hang out with me all night.

I felt like a million dollar tbh. The sweater dress/tights/heels combo is a winner. It makes such a huge difference if you just feel good ya know. Lots of random touching happening, big smiles. Life's good *happy sigh*
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

To be a rock and not to roll

The BBC is driving me to distraction with their inability to for TW S3. I mean really, how hard can it be? We were promised June. That’s next month! It seems unlikely to happen. I feel as if we’ll never see it; instead it will forever be dangled in front of us like a carrot in front of an especially stupid donkey.

Speaking of TW [oh look, something new and different for a change!], come oooon people. Don’t bitch about Almost Perfect so much. It was completely and utterly hilarious, surely you can see that, even just a little? No? You don’t see it? It was so freaking silly, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry half the time. You can’t tell me you read these books as intelligent literature, so why does it matter if it was total crack fiction? It’s bloody sanctioned fanfiction, for crying out loud. And yes I admit, Ianto as a woman got a bit off track there near the end, but to say Gwen is the only person who’s characterisation was any good is ridiculous, cause I really wanted to shoot her for saying/thinking poor lamb or whatever it was every few paragraphs. That said, it was structured fanfuckingtastically. I mean hell, I enjoyed it so much I’m adopting a similar structure for my honours thesis. I just don’t get why it upset so many people. Much like I don’t get why Combat is so many people’s favourite episode. Hello, derivation. You are all familiar with Fight Club, right?

Meanwhile, in the real world, I braved the madness that is IKEA and spent too much money today. Bought the wrong colour desk. Head met said wrong coloured desk. Damn it. Now I have to trudge back there tomorrow and exchange it. Bookcases are good though, also got a mirror for my wall. Still need a full length but saw a gorgeous one that I didn’t quite have the cash for atm, so will wait. Also got containers that will work perfectly in the green room wardrobe. Now I just need to have one of my Paris pictures printed on canvas for the wall outside my door and unpack all my books and cds and I am D.O.N.E. Well excluding the painting and the bathroom anyway. Did I mention I now have a fridge in the green room? It’s quite strange, but we seem to have an abundance of fridges so I got one. At the moment it’s just filled with bottles and bottles of Lipton Iced Red Tea.

Someone remind me to take my pills tomorrow morning please, so I don’t have a fucking nervous breakdown doing this damned presentation.

I have ten pages worth of bullet points…that’s enough to maintain an half an hour discussion right?


I don't think I will ever stop hating presentations with every fibre of my being. Now, to bed. Where it is warm. Hopefully.

Music: Stairway to heaven - Led Zeppelin
Mood: Sleepy
What grace is given me, let it pass to him, save him.


Whenever I hear/read/see the word 'grace' by itself, this is all I can think of.

Music: Numb3rs
Mood: Working

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My heart, it don't beat the way it used to

Holy hellcats Batman, the blog's alive!

The word chaotic doesn't even begin to cover the week I've had.

Where did I last leave off? Ah yes, graduation. Well I have to say that went a lot better than I expected. It was actually kinda fun to see all the randoms again like Emo Boy and Mohawk Boy. I even roped the latter, lost and unsuspecting, into line with us. I made plans to hang with Ally, took photos, and made silly Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings jokes with Lizzie. They dress you in a robe after all, ringwraith and Voldemort jokes are unavoidable. "Robe me!" indeed. It only went for 90minutes, and though it is essentially just an extended roll call, it wasn't nearly as boring as I had expected. My parents were really happy, which is nice since I did it for them. Mum actually cried, which never happens. It was quite sweet really. We were all just so tired after all the painting and cleaning that it kind of took some of the shine off the evening. We just wanted to collapse somewhere. But as they say, all's well that end's well.

The rest of the week was dedicated purely to the completion of the painting job of doom, and Saturday we actually started moving the furniture in. I've been sleeping here since. Since there is no enclosed area outside and I don't have a kennel for her, Oreo has been sleeping in my room with me. I think she's enjoying it. Considering what obscene times I usually go to bed and what obscene time my dad gets up, she was only really sleeping outside for perhaps 3 hours a night. Whatever. I think her only problem is that I may or may not be kicking her if she gets on the bed during the night. Sometimes I toss and turn a lot *shrugs*

Yesterday and early hours of this morning was spent finishing a really half-assed version of that godforsaken Proust essay. I really can't keep dragging it out and figured it was better that I at least submit something. Of course, the tutor wasn't there today. Epic. Sigh. Then again it's not like I printed it to submit it, in all the madness I've failed to notice that I'm out of ink. Mandy took our class for an hour just talking about our creative pieces and so, as everyone else dispersed to no doubt do uni work, I went shopping. Of course. Ended up buying two sweater dress type things from Sportsgirl and tights. God I love tights. I actually wear my skirts and dresses thanks to them and it gives some colour to my wardrobe. Next to Starbucks Mint Hot Chocolates, they almost make winter worth it. Almost. I ran into someone from mum's work while milling around drooling over shoes in Myer, felt very grown up standing around in my work clothes with shopping bags talking to a colleague. Oh, total random moment earlier though, as I caught my reflection in a revolving door coming down Pitt street with my black vest and purple long sleeved shirt rolled up to the elbows, I couldn't help giggling to myself and think that I was channeling my inner Ianto. You know, because it's sorta like what he wears in 'Captain Jack Harkness', the episode where angry!Ianto is angry and shoots Owen and generally just looks fucking hot.
Yes, these are the things that amuse me.

Speaking of, had everyone giggling at mum's work yesterday. I was over there using their internet and geeking out with the IT department while trying to do my Proust essay, and everyone kept stealing my Doctor Who key chain to "exterminate" and "upgrade" people. Even today they kept making me press the "Exterminate!" button and then we'd all giggle. Being geeky is such fun.

Anyway, busy schedule for the week. IKEA and more clearing up tomorrow, Presentation and movie with Ally Thursday, Friday involves work, Wolverine with the girls followed by Danny's gig. Possibly Star Trek on Saturday. Yay for socialness!

Now random things I've wanted to mention:

1) Why does 13 on House get to go to Chase's bachelor party...I mean just because she's bi? Does that mean she gets to go to the hen's night as well? That hardly seems fair. Actually, I loved how House sent her and Foreman to choose the strippers. It was quite amusing. She is very pretty though, almost as gorgeous as Katie McGrath, but not quite...don't get me started.

2) New season of Numb3rs finally started! Larry is made of win. End of.

3) I'm covered in so many cuts and bruises that I look like the victim of some sort of domestic abuse. It's terrible. I don't mind the visuals so much, I just wish my muscles would stop aching. I mean hell, my hands hurt. I can barely touch my steering wheel. For this I blame the paint roller.

4) Merlin got obscenely high ratings for its first episode and I hope this continues. I really can't stress enough how adorkable that show is.

5) I read a completely random Mat Devine interview from 06 which had some classic Mat moments I feel I need to share -
Mat: (interrupting) Dude! I just found myself wandering around - I'm now in a closet filled with wine! Boxes and boxes of wine!
Mat: My greatest fear is being in a car crash.
Interviewer: Oh really?
Mat: Yeah. So that's like...if a shark attack was your biggest fear and being put in a shark tank every day.
Interviewer: So, who does most of the driving then?
Mat: We do it. Dan does.
Interviewer: Wouldn't you feel more secure if you were?
Mat: No, I just take Xanax and Ambien.
Interviewer: I could see how that would help
Interviewer: One day you wake up and you're president of the United States, what are the first three things you would do?
Mat: Ok number one, take over Canada.
Interviewer: Why Canada?
Mat: Cause it's there! It's right next to us and it freaks me out!
Mat, you are insane, I love you.

6) Music is so much more fun again now that I'm no longer so emotionally invested in the people behind it. Always give the music the benefit of the doubt

7) My thoughts midway through the move was that this was a lot like Frodo's journey, except in reverse. I am going from Mordor to the Shire. And yes, I am officially a hobbit now. Too bad really, I would have picked Rivendell if given the choice.

8) Overheard at work today, unimpressed older lady to her husband while reading a Woman's Weekly or some such anout a celebrity wedding, "I don't think your great grandmother would have worn a dress like that!"

9) Folie A Deux really is brilliant. Everyday I have a different song in my head. It's fantastic. My least favourite song on the album is probably 'America's Suitehearts' and that's saying something. I skip nothing when listening to it, and I've continually listened to it for most of the duration of the move. I haven't done that since...well since From Under the Cork Tree. People always put pop-punk down as being trivial and easy, but it really isn't. It has so many layers and above all it's fun and catchy. I could go on but I'm too tired to write an essay on the values of popular music.

10) It's not even really winter yet and already I'm as dried out as a piece of fruit left in the sun. Moisturize me! Moisturize me!

Oh and also, tweet of the day goes to the zany James Moran for saying "I *am* a squeeing fangirl!" in response to someone else. Frank Iero also gets a special mention for the following: "The quote "the future's so bright, I gotta wear shades" should only describe the lifestyle of either a teenage vampire or doing tons of coke". Oh Frank *pats*

Now I shall digress and retreat to the couch for some Torchwood, tea, and an early night. I think I've earned it.

Music: For Reasons Unknown - The Killers
Mood: Sore

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Doesn't sit or stay

My graduation day is turning out much like every other major day in the last 10 years of my life. Do own make up, do own hair, strap self into dress with extreme flexibility, end up sitting in Starbucks alone drinking coffee. People always seem perplexed that I am able to be so solitary, but do you see, it is just my life.

I want to break a large plate.

I had to come into the city at 1 to meet with my supervisor. I wanted to reschedule but my mother got all goddamn pedantic about it, so I came. And its so fucking pointless cause I have nothing to say, cause I haven't done any fucking work. Jesus christ I am so damned screwed.

Woah, I sound angry. I wasn't this angry this morning. Then again, I did get up at 6.30, so maybe I was just still asleep. The timing on this house is so completely off, its at the busiest time of the semester, and definitely in one of my downswings. I just want to curl up somewhere and never emerge.

I've been painting most of the time. Painted a ceiling today and have resolved to never, ever do that again. I was completely covered, in fine white dots. I also put the first coat of cream in my room and study, as well doing the two green feature walls in the study. Mum and I have also done the first coat of the dining room, the foyer is completely done. I'm in love with the green for the study though. I wante something really bright that would actually encourage me to be there, and it's perdect. It's called Saxon Green! I had a *glee* moment in Bunnings when I saw it last night. Just imagine - Saxon Green: For all your Master envy needs. I'm tempted to put a framed photo up in a dictator-ish fashion, just to be silly. Tomorrow morning, I'll head out early again and start the red feature wall for my room and second coat of the rest. I should be able to go back after uni and do the second coat then, so I'll be set to start moving in Friday.

I've still got to finish cleaning the kitchen though, I only did half of the cabinents. So grossed out. I think the house has stood empty for a while, it has that smell. I loathe that smell. Luckily the bleach and paint is getting rid of it.

At some point I'll have to get paint for my bathroom too, but I figured I could do that once I've moved in.

Whoever had what will be our spare room was definitely a rock boy. There is a coheed & cambria sticker on the door. Also, the garage has been soundproofed (and painted blue *sigh*). In other words, band practice occurred there. I've been unceremoniously booted from the garage since my dad seems to think he needs it for "work space".

Can you believe these rooms are even smaller than the one I'm in now? I mean come on, who designs these places? Ah well. At least I get a study. And more closet room.

I definitely need to go to IKEA. Groan. I need an extention for my study desk, a new desk chair, a full length mirror (yes Abs, happy now?), possibly an arm chair and/or entire new bedroom set. Ok the last one is getting out of hand, but I think I'm due for a new bed at some point this year.

All that (and my sore muscles and sleep deprived self) aside, I'm currently sitting in Starbucks, painting my nails. As predicted, my meeting with Mandy only took about twenty minutes. She must think I'm such an idiot. I really need to sort out something to send her. Ugh. Seriously kill me. Sigh. I now have to kill time until 4 when I have to report at the graduation desk. I figured I could leave here at 3, and camp out in a uni bathroom to touch up my makeup and such. I'm hoping I'm not too casual. God this sucks.

Jasper appears to have white paint on him. Brilliant. Well it might be this supposed cream paint my parents keep going on about...I keep refering to the white paint and they keep saying we don't have any white. I think they're purposely being difficult.

Roze is coming to watch me graduate. She's such a sweetheart. Em couldn't come since I only have 3 tickets. If my parents miss it, I will kill them.

Watch the headlines.

As a parting thought, why do I have this compulsion to always say 'Good, thanks' when people ask how I'm doing?

From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


JHC, someone kill me and put me out of my misery. I am too feeble to stand against these forces of evil.
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Monday, May 4, 2009

Shoot the sunshine into my veins


It's bloody one in the morning, this bloody creative cultural piece was due yesterday (Monday, so only an hour late) and I can't remember what damned poem extract I wanted to include in it cause I wrote it down in an email on Jasper, but didn't save it as draft and then his battery died. Goddamnit. Of course, I don't have to include it, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, and I won't know if I really want to until I find it again. It was John something or other, I'm sure of it. Quite a famous guy. I'm now trawling bloody livejournal for it.


Heeey, today I finally get to see the new house.

YES! I've found it. John Keats. Ha. See, I knew it was something like that.

Was it a vision, or a waking dream?
Fled is that music: - Do I wake or sleep?

Hmm. Maybe that's too wankery to include. But then again, this is university.

What was I saying? Oh yes, new house. My life is being dilluted into boxes. It's rather depressing. And oh lord, I have so much uni work to do, it's enough to make a quick trip off a very tall building seem like a whole lot of fun.

Can't wait to get this damned router fixed, it feels indescribably weird to sit at mum's desktop to do stuff.

Anyway, email sent, apologies for skipping class sent to another tutor. Now to bed, work and painting await!

Music: 27 - Fall Out Boy
Mood: Stressed

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I'm Merlin but most people just call me idiot

I'm watching Merlin again, and oh, how it makes me glee. It premiered on Aussie tv tonight, I'm hoping people watch it. I have established that I definitely have a thing for Morgana though. She's just so gorgeous. Sigh.

The house is in a state of complete chaos. I'm meant to be packing up my books and such but haven't gotten round to it yet. I have however finished my creative piece for cultural studies. That's a plus. Now just waiting for some feedback and then I can email it to the tutor. Still have that damned Proust essay to do and next week my first culutral studies presentation. Oh how I loathe presentations. It's on Ethnoscapes. What fun.

Have very little to report really. I have no internet and a lot of things are disconnected as my dad keeps pulling wires out. Not only does it make productivity impossible, but it also inteferes with procrastination. It'll be a relief just to get this all over and done with, and get back to normal.

From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Friday, May 1, 2009

My heads in heaven, my soles are in hell

Hurry, hurry
You put my head in such a flurry, flurry.
What makes you so special?
I'm going to leave you
I'm going to teach you
How we're all alone.

The OCD part of me that's obsessed with perfection and symmetry is slightly pissed that I didn't blog so much during April. At the start of last month, I noticed that completely coincidentally, I was logging 36 blog entries per month for '09. I thought this was rather cool and wanted to see if I could keep it up. Of course as soon as the resolve is made, it fails. *sigh*

I just realised it's Mother's day on Sunday. Crap. I better get something. Oh and hey, I finally got my government money. It's about bloody time!

My mind is so frazzled, I find it hard to be coherent. Just ask any of the people in my uni classes, they can attest. I just um and ah all the time...more than usual I mean. It's frustrating. I'm also epically tired, slept like shit last night. I woke up during the night cause my head was aching so much...who wakes up because their head hurts, I mean come on, that's not fair. So anyway, scraped through work and such with relatively little enthusiasm. Luckily it was busy so I couldn't dwell. I just want to sleep though. Definitely not aiding productivity.

My dad is going to be a fucking nightmare with this moving business, he's already being a royal pain in the ass. Mum and I had it all worked out and then he comes flapping in and messing everything up. I just wish he'd calm down and slow down, why everything must always be a major crisis, I don't know.

Does the end of 'What a catch Donnie' feature a mash-up of a bunch of old Fall Out Boy songs like 'Sugar, we're going down' and 'Growing up', or am I imagining things?

Totally obsessed with Folie a Deux now. Something just happened on Wednesday as I listened to it on the train where it just seemed to fall in to place and became utterly brilliant. Eureka moment, as it were. Before that I was a bit blah about the whole thing to be honest.

In other news, my recently unearthed indie kid wants to go to Splendour in the Grass this year - Bloc Party, MGMT, The Flaming Lips, Jane's Addiction, Yves Klein Blue, Manchester Orchestra. I just don't think it's worth $250, not even including the camping/accomodation requirements. Bah.

Quote of the day goes to Captain Mal Reynolds:
This is the Captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.


Music: w.a.m.s - Fall Out Boy
Mood: Achy