Every story I have told is part of you

I'm going to admit that Pete Wentz's latest journal entry really brought it home today. It hits me in just the right place, like it always has. I fell in love with that band because of his words, his journals that have long since been deleted, long before they were on the cover of almost every magazine. The fact that they make incredibly catchy music, and that Patrick is a fantastic singer, didn't hurt matters of course. I remember the first time I read his posts and listened to FUCT. I was absolutely floored that things I've felt, things I've said, were recorded and reflected back virtually verbatim. That in itself resulted in a bit of a love/hate relationship, but it never changes the fact that underneath it all and the petty comments and situations, I'm connected to the songs and the words, and I will probably be that way forever. From Under The Cork Tree soundtracked the end of high school and the start of uni, a major change in my life. It's one of those albums that is so rare these days, one that you can pinpoint to a very specific time and a very specific feeling. One that you'll remember years from now, and you'll remember spending lazy summer afternoons with your friends driving back from days out or being stuck in traffic jams singing along at the top of your lungs. Lately I may have become complacent in that connection, too used to having it around, but that doesn't make it mean any less or carry any less value. So you know, I'm going to miss it but I have to say thanks for the words, for keeping me company during my bouts of insomnia, for giving me access to the "scene" like I never had before, for making me pay attention, for making me hate you and love you in equal measure, for helping me write a creative non-fiction piece, for helping me write, for being a pseudo-muse, for that time I talked to you online before you were famous on the internet. Thanks for the memories. I wasn't there from the very start, it's true, but I did come along for most of the ride. I honestly don't begrudge them the success. Maybe we all have our time.

I thought I'd be more upset/affected, but I just feel quite zen about it all. It's not a break-up, they don't hate each other, they refuse to even call it a "hiatus"...it is, however, an ending and as I've said before, it will never be the same as it is now. It just seems...fitting, somehow. They'll be ok, we'll be ok, and one day, we can all get together again like old friends and have just as much fun as we always did. That sounds really pathetic, but that's life for you, isn't it? C'est la guerre.



I cannot wait to see this movie. It sounds brilliantly off-center, art house and so perfectly balanced between melancholy and utter joy. It also looks stunning. Like being caught in a dream. I just wish I could see it with Abbi.

You hold the other end of the rope that is my sanity.

For some reason, I really like this poster.


Meanwhile, stuff needs to be done because I have been slacking all damn week. Complacency, you vile fiend! 4,000 words by Sunday. YES dammit! Oh crap, I haven't emailed my fourth draft to Mandy yet. Note to self, note to self! I did send off my USYD application today though, so fingers certainly crossed for that. If that all pans out I may possibly be on exchange two years from now at the university of Glasgow or East Anglia or somewhere else that I've forgotten, but there's a nice list. I'm choosing to be indulge in extreme wishful thinking when it comes to this particular topic.

I have to work tomorrow though, and it's another Swine Flu vaccination day. UUUUGH. I hate you, stupid swine flu vaccine. Why must you be so annoying to organise?

Ill-advised social plans for the next two weeks include:
> DIY punk gig
> Meet up on Em's birthday
> Dinner w the girls
> A 21st party
> Meet up w Lizzie when she gets back

I shall end with the song stuck in my head today...

You keep the air in my lungs
Floating along as a melody comes
And my heart beats like timpani drums
Keeping the time while a symphony strums

Music: How I go - Yellowcard
Mood: Thoughtful