May the force be with me

I have spent the last two days in the state library. I believe this is the most time I have consecutively spent in a library in my entire academic career. I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. Yesterday was disheartening, by the time I got home I was utterly dejected and convinced I was going to fail this thesis and have wasted a year of my life. So the will to live was rapidly fading. I, of course, combated this with television. That's right, when you fear for your academic future you procrastinate, I'm sure it's in an official charter somewhere. I did learn something though, namely that Lie to me is actually a rather cool show. My mood was bolstered somewhat by the arrival of the first of my latest Torchwood books, the last set I shall ever be reading, which was luckily the collection of short stories. I can justify reading one crackilicious short story before going to sleep, not so much reading an entire book. The story didn't disappoint either, 1890s Torchwood FTW. So, there was a silver lining. Speaking of the dreaded T word, one of mum's friends at work watched the first ep yesterday and when I came in this afternoon she was on 'Cyberwoman' so of course we sit there watching it. Despite the fact that she had headphones so I had no sound, I still knew exactly what was being said. There is something really sad about that. As I said to her yesterday, "I am a total tragic when it comes to this, biggest geek loser ever, but I'm ok with that."

As things go, today's stint in the library was a thousand times better as I discovered the most brilliant text that I can actually relate to my ideas. Huzzah! It is actually on aging, but the entire theoretical base of it is founded on the postmodern condition, Derrida's notion of the world as a text, and life in general being a personal narrative. It ties in perfectly with the direction I hope to go in with my exegesis. I only got up to page 35 today though, so I'm going to have to get a move on. I still have four other books to skim through. I also have a meeting with Mandy tomorrow to discuss my creative draft, and I have about a thousand PDFs to read on my laptop. At some point I have to get into the student centre to have a look at old Honours theses as well. Sigh. Hopefully, I can get everything in the library done tomorrow (but I think that's wishful thinking at its best) so I can spend Friday going over my other research. Either way, I will hopefully have all my research done by Sunday so that my first draft of theory can be done by next week.

Please, please, please, please let this work.

Ugh I am so over this. As is my father, who is annoyed with me for going out again tomorrow. Uh yeah, like I enjoy getting up at 7 am and sitting in one spot for 7 hours straight reading boring network theory. I really don't understand what part of "I am writing a thesis" is so hard to grasp. I have explained to the parentals that this requires quite a bit of research (that I admittedly have left a bit late) and that it would take time, which would mean that I would have very little time to actually be "here" in any meaningful sense. So I really don't think it's fair that I get treated as if I'm inflicting some horrible affront. Bah.

I've just read half of Roze's first chapter and gah, it's coming along so well! She won't be reading this as she has barricaded herself into her house and disconnected her internet for all intents and purposes. She has put her foot down! It's admirable. Hers is due two weeks before mine, and I wish her all the best. I'm actually quite interested to read it. I'm not sure if mentioning the topic kind of breaks some sort of rule or not, so very vaguely I'll just say it concerns vampires.

Meanwhile, I have completely lost track of what the word limit of mine is supposed to be and whether it needs to be professionally bound or not (apparently its "quite informal"...right). My creative piece is just under 10, 000 and I think I still have 4, 000 left, but it may be 2, 000 and if it's the latter...oh boy. Why must I always struggle to remain within word limits? Why? No one else ever seems to have this problem.

Dear self, STOP RAMBLING. Kthks.

I wish I had an interesting picture or fact or random piece of information to include in this post for everyone but sadly, no. It will be only uni, and lots of it, for the foreseeable future.

Oh, I may be posting a quick survey on here so if any readers wish to add some very arbitrary statistical weight to my thesis, I'd really appreciate it. There will be virtual cookies for all!

First, I have to survive the library though.

Music: Love song - Sara Bareilles
Mood: Nerdy