The quiet things no one ever knows

I'm feeling...how am I feeling? Hm...idyllic. But not in a conventional sense. I want to write and breathe and love and laugh. I want to sit around a bonfire as twilight settles in. I want to breathe in life and just let it wash over me. I want to feel and hurt and see all the shades of grey that consitutes the supposed black and white of the everyday. I want to be in this world of everything, and nothing, all at once. Let it flow. I'm comfortably torn between two songs.

***

She said, "No one is alone, the way you are alone"
And you held her looser than you would have if you ever could have known
Some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
When you only had barely enough of her to hang on

***

Contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart

They say that promises
Sweeten the blow
But I don't need them
No, I don't need them
...
I need
The darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
I need this

I need
A lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet
Love of my life
Oh, I need this

Is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Or I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
Hold your breath
Kiss me now, you'll catch my death
Oh, I mean it

Music: The soft hum of my laptop
Mood: Pensive