One song, about a girl

Is it just me, or is anyone else in Sydney really hot right now? I don't think it's actually that warm. Hope I'm not getting sick. Bah.

I am completely flabbergasted that dearest William Beckett has recently revealed he has a child. For once, the crazy rumours way back when were actually on the money. That never happens! It alone makes it worth mentioning. The only reason I felt the need to blog about this is because, well, it's William! What am I meant to do? The boy has the power to turn me into brainless goo with his voice, hmmmk, it deserves some mention that this is being passed on to future generations. Also, she bears the same name I chose in Year 6 when we were discussing it in class and I was going through my Arthurian legend stage - Guinevere became Genevieve. If we consider all the offspring appearing all over the place, it's fair to say that somewhere there will be one hell of a playgroup one day.

The strange thing is that I've been a TAI fan for, oh must be 5 years now, and he was only 19 at the time. It's easy to get caught in this bubble where people seem to stay exactly the same as the first time you came across them (like Em's brother, who I constantly assume to be barely in high school, despite the fact that eight years have passed.) Discounting that fact, intellectually I know William is 2 years older than me. Which makes him 24. If we add this to all the other public figures I admire getting hitched, engaged or spawning, let alone to the number of friends and relatives doing the same thing, and I'm beginning to feel old. Not in the age sense strictly speaking, more in the responsibility sense. It's not a sensation I enjoy very much. I have reached the point in my life where this sort of thing is totally normal and acceptable (even expected) and I'm still sitting here going "But, but, but I'm too young! There's a half-price movie on down the road, and we can all get some slushies and go ice-skating after!"

I don't consider myself immature. I've always been very responsible, very self-aware, and I grew up a lot faster than perhaps I should have. I spent a lot of time in the adult setting, and I learnt to adapt. It's true that completing the latter part of my education here in Australia did allow me to regress to a more childish level than I necessarily would have been if I'd remained in Joburg. I've just always thought the nature of the city never really agreed with naivete or romanticism much, whereas here I've had a lot more freedom in being childish. That said, the idea that I'm at an age where settling down is not necessarily a foreign concept freaks the hell out of me. When I am asked at work whether I have kids and I respond that I'm too young, I'm met with a "No you're not, not really" and I can't even really deny it, can I? It's that classic question, when did this happen? When did we become responsible adults? When did everyone around us start pairing off and making life plans, and when did the younger generation move in and bring their own heroes with them, heroes younger than we are now?

It's weird. And ok, I know this sounds ridiculous, but that whole idea of "settling down" threatens a whole lot of "losing your independence" to me, and that is partly why I am absolutely terrified of commitment, something that is apparently getting more and more daunting, and an inescapable fact, the older I get.

I'm not even 22 too yet! I'm too young to be having a mid-life crisis!

Music: Nothing, I SHOULD be sleeping
Mood: Hot