All you can do is just wait by the moon

I write to you from the quagmire of tertiary institutional bureaucracy, and boy, is it a grim, soul-sucking place to be. I have returned from my university's postgraduate information evening where I lodged my application. Let's just pause and reflect on that itself - I had to submit a personal statement, a CV, an outline of my writing experience, and an example of my creative work. Thirty three pages later, I have to fill in four pages worth of application forms and then the guy at the student centre asks where my academic transcript is. Yes, because there isn't enough paper there for you. Anyway, long story short, turns out UTS don't actually offer commonwealth supported places for their communications postgraduate degrees. So I'd have to pay upfront....now I worked it out earlier, it comes down to little over $15,000. I'm not adverse to getting a bank loan for this, but it grates me that I should have to when other institutions are offering fully support places, as well as the option of government loans. Oh UTS, you're hurting my soul.

Thing is, I know I complain about UTS, but I actually really like my university. I like the casual, laid-back teaching style. Especially now that I am no longer an undergrad, it feels a lot more like a mutual exchange, like you are actually participating and there is none of that traditional lecturer/student roles. Then again, what do I know, it might be like that everywhere. The only problem with UTS is its inability to manage information, communicate with each other, or seemingly be organised in any way. Again, I'm sure this is a fault of all big tertiary institutes. I'm comfortable at UTS, I know what to expect and what is in turn expected of me. Also, I prefer the Master degree they're offering to the others, for one it is better paced as it stretches out an extra semester that the others don't cover. None of that changes the fact that I will have to give precedence to any other offer I receive simply because I am a destitute student who doesn't have that kind of cash sitting around. [And that's my travel saving money!]

It's just frustrating because I thought I had everything planned out. Finish Honours, do 1.5 year Master degree, spend latter part of second year overseas, settle into a decent relevant occupation. Now I'm all over the place. I hate being all over the place. See, my intention was to go overseas regardless of whether I was accepted for exchange or not, since that second year has a semester free. Now however, it's only one year, which I estimate finishes at the end of November. I can still go overseas of course, but it would be an awkward time (no one except retail hires of Christmas, and I have absolutely no retail experience). I wouldn't be able to stay as long as I liked since I effectively have half the saving time I originally anticipated. I know I could wait and go the same time I originally wanted to, but that would mean a year of basically doing nothing other than working at the Doctors and I'm sorry but I'm not the kind of person who can spend a year doing nothing. I'd go absolutely mad in a dead-end job, even if it is for saving purposes. Uni breaks up my life. I need it to keep me sane until I find a full-time position. So yes, little complications. Again, the only conclusion I can draw from this experience is simply to never plan anything. It's a lot less headache-inducing.

But I digress, I'm just giving myself unnecessary stress. I have a small forest worth of paperwork to peruse over hot chocolate and then I intend to pass out somewhere warm. It's been quite chilly at night recently.

Tomorrow, the library. Next week, the world! Wait, what?

Music: Here's looking at you kid - The Gaslight Anthem
Mood: Frustrated