Not dead

Just almost. As soon as I find the box with the modem/router in it, I shall make my triumphant aka whinging return to the interwebs. At the moment I have to finish this before tomorrow. Too tired and sore to move and not looking forward to a trip to uni. Life and how not to live it.
--
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Yesterday just took me hostage

Could someone explain to me what the deal is with Tumblr? I don't quite get it...and I hate not getting things. Especially interwebz related things. And music related things. And book related things. And...oh who am I kidding, I'm a sponge.

Abs introduced me to My Life Is Average today, cause yes, I needed another avenue of procrastination, there can never be too many avenues of procrastination! I had to share this one since it is so completely and utterly me:

Today I took a quiz on fb that said "How will you get kicked out of Wal-Mart?" It said that I would be kicked out for sneaking around the isles suspiciously and humming the mission impossible theme. I know what I'm doing tomorrow. MLIA

I am amazed I haven't been kicked out of a store yet. There are often sword fights, spoon fights, and weirdness along those lines. Back on point though, is there a particular reason why there are so many Harry Potter reference on that site or is it just mere coincidence of everyone using it being awesome?

Work this morning was uneventful, if quite busy. The most noteable thing I did was read Mat Devine's latest Q&A blog post. Oh that man, he kills me. He's equal parts scathing sarcasm and brutal honesty. It's fantastic.

Q: Mat, my friend is missing, she just disappeared today. We were going to meet at the train station, but she didn't show up and I didn't have a phone to call here with so I had to go home and try to call her cell. But she didn't answer and I can't find her. What shall I do?

A: You did the right thing. Everyone knows, in the case of an emergency, go online and email a lead singer. Ok people, pay attention: Please do not ask me questions that are gonna get me either sued by parents or involved in some Interpol investigation. my resemblance to a police sketch of the Wicker Park Rapist from 3 years ago already has me on the short list for the next season of To Catch A Predator. Please don’t give them more ammunition.

I managed to make it to my meeting in time. I'm really settling in well with Mandy, I think we're perfectly suited to each other. It's very rare in my academic setting to have someone say "but it's all so subjective, really" as she did within our first five minutes. I am a firm believer in subjectivity, and it's nice to have someone who understands where I'm coming from. We seem to be very similar in our approach to writing. We've got another meeting next week, so I hope she gives me some useful feedback on my piece. In the meantime, she's lent me a copy of a collection she's just edited to read.

I have this desperate need for someone to really tear my creative piece to shreds (metaphorically, in terms of criticism). I don't know why.

Today also featured a trip to the UTS library, where actual books were checked out for the first time in four years. I'm a bit disappointed since I was hoping I could go my entire academic career there without ever needing their library, but it was not to be. It's all Wolfgang Iser's fault. I can't believe the State doesn't have his work. So I've got plenty of reading to do this week. Better start forming a theoretical framework I suppose. Fun *cough*

It was an odd sort of day really. I was feeling rather confident, tired and coughing, but completley balanced. Doesn't happen very often.

My biggest problem going to uni is the way I can't resist stopping by Basement Books, which always ends in the acquisition of something or other. Honestly, why can't I just say no? It's the only way I ever read classic literture though, they sell all the Wordsworth and Penguin classic editions from $2-$8. Today I went in looking for poetry. I emerged with 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' and 'The Last Man' by Mary Shelley. Since I only planned on getting a couple of library books, I had my Muse tote and it now loathes me for squeezing eight books in there. Well, I say the bag loathes me, but really it's my shoulder.

There is a fatality about all physical and intellectual distinctions, the sort of fatality that seems to dog through history the faltering steps of kings. It is better not to be different from one's fellows. The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. They can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent, and without disquiet.

In other news, I need new black jeans, I'm thinking skinny ones, and I desperately need new sunnies. Why do the damn things break on me? Oh, and those shiny footless tights Dangerfield are peddling. They'd go well with my newly acquired purple dress. Don't know when I'll find time to actually go shopping though. Sigh.

Tomorrow the moving starts. Out comes the paint-spattered BFMV shirt and torn jeans. I will probably be off-line for a bit. Well, as off line as I go anyway. I'll post up a playlist tonight but sans downloads I'm afraid. I don't want blogspot deleting any more of my posts (bastards). However, should anyone actually want any of the songs, I am always more than happy to oblige, just drop a comment.

Music: Believe - The All American Rejects
Mood: Accomplished

Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows

I've come to the conclusion the Distirct 9 aliens are the Ood's uncivilized, uglier cousins. Who knew it was possible to be uglier than the Ood?

I have very little to say. I'm beyond tired. I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow and I have no idea what I am supposed to talk about since I haven't done any research. I have written over 6,000 words of the creative piece though. That in itself is sort of worrying since I still have to do all the non-linear tie-in material such as twitter updates and media and such, so hopefully I won't crack the 10,000 mark. I can't go that far. I need at least 4,000 for the essay. Anyway, it's only an hour. I'm sure we'll be able to talk about something. We were so busy at work today I barely had time to breathe, only got home at 7 and so work is not high on my list of priorities. But needs must and blah blah. Sigh.

I did actually have a point but I've gotten sidetracked by Good News Week. Speaking of television, Alice Cooper was great on Rove last night. AAR were the musical guests, Tyson was all over the stage, half-clothed and covered in enough glitter for a Mardi Gras float.

How can time be this contrary? How can it seem to take forever and yet be over in a flash? It makes no sense. Last week seems to have been so beyond epically long and yet it's almost the end of August. August! Where has it all gone? Bah.

We are such stuff as dreams are made on, rounded with a little sleep.

Music: GNW
Mood: Tired

Sleeping, waiting to wake

John Smith: I'm not... I'm John Smith, that's all I want to be, John Smith. With his life.. and his job... and his love. Why can't I be John Smith? Isn't he a good man? Why can't I stay?!
Martha: But we need the Doctor.
John Smith: Who am I then? Nothing...? I'm just a story?

John Smith: What exactly do you do for him? Why does he need you?
Martha: Because he's lonely.
John Smith: And that's what you want me to become?

He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night, and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And... he's wonderful.

Music: Fly buzzing in the window
Mood: Pessimistic

There I go again

Random tangents of note -

First things first, DANIEL! Aaaaaah! Epic. Glee. I'm oh so very glad he's playing again, I've missed him so much this last season it defies description. Don't ever go play overseas again, and in the name of all that is good and holy, try not to get injured for a while hmmmk? My mum was laughing at my glee all night. I can't help myself, it's been so long since I've seen him play, it's all been stored up, just waiting for this moment. Although I wish the All Blacks didn't suck as much as they do this year. Honestly, what's going on? Then again, maybe if we do badly leading up to the World Cup for a change, we might actually do well during it? This kind of ass-backward reasoning usually features in sport, so it's possible.

Since I'm talking about sport, Stuart Broad FTW. Way to shut them up over here, dude. It so doesn't hurt that I think he's painfully adorable. Win/win.

My neighbour is having a party. He's about 18 or so and I always seem him skulking about the neighbourhood in his Misfits and old school punk t-shirts. The music is on full blast and it kind of makes me want to pop round and join in.

I've agreed to do NaNaWriMo which I will no doubt regret considering my thesis is due the 7th of November and there's no way I'll start any work on it before then, but pushing yourself is half the fun. Besides my writing tutors have always gone on about the benefits of just writing, regardless of quality, so this might be a good exercise in letting that go and just getting ideas on paper. Refinement and insecurities can wait until later. It'll no doubt be an interesting experience regardless.

I'm so glad there is finally a Fall Out Boy video in which Patrick gets most of the screen time (and plays a piano, which never hurts things) and in which Pete doesn't make out with someone. It's kind of heartwarming in a strange way.

In that vein, I was going through some pics and found this one -

I forgot how it used to be. It won't be the same with them apart. Sigh. What happened boys?

Ooookay. Don't cha by the Pussycat Dolls just started playing which makes me rethink what I said earlier about joining the party next door. I am concerned where we went wrong here...





Music: Whatever my neighbour deems fit, currently Mamma Mia
Mood: Sleepy

Right back what is wrong, we move along

Last night, I headed out to see The All American Rejects with the lovely Em.

I’m not sure who the first support was as Em and I were busy strolling through Newtown, having dinner, and flirting with Irish service staff…well ok the last one was me, but still. We didn’t arrive late enough and caught most of Hoobastank’s set, which we weren’t exactly looking forward to. They were much better than we expected them to be, but they do act like they’re so much cooler than they actually are. I find it hard not to think of them as a bit of a one-hit wonder, especially since The Reason tore the roof off the Enmore where the crowd completely drowned out the band whereas they were fairly nonplussed for the rest of the set. They saved that, and their other hit Crawling in the dark for last. I just have to point out to the couple next to me that making out during the romantic song as a sort of scripted moment kind of kills the spontaneous romance you’re trying to create. Sorry guys. Also, perhaps date people closer to your own heights, your posture is suffering horribly!

AAR came out to odd circus music that made me want to juggle and they certainly had energy to burn. Tyson was, for some inexplicable reason, channelling Pee-wee Herman, right down to the bow tie. I love how bands seem to accumulate extra touring members the bigger they get, they had a keyboardist and a bass player on-stage – for those moments when Tyson was too busy flailing all over the place to play. They didn’t mess around and jumped straight off with Move Along and Stab my back. It’s so fantastic when a band has a strong enough catalogue to open with hits straight out, it immediately strikes up the crowd.

Speaking of the crowd, they were very vocal. It was a typical split floor plan and with us standing near the back of the front section, we were in prime position to be deafened by the girls hanging over the second barrier. It’s a pitch that would leave many dogs howling for weeks. Back on point, it was boiling inside and Tyson systematically started stripping. He was all over the stage, twitching and convulsing and being electric. At one point they all disappeared for a bit and I’m fairly sure he actually did a wardrobe change…I say wardrobe but I mean pants, since he came back only wearing that. Skinny boy glistening with sweat. The crowd loved it.

They had an amazing light set up with them, crazy strobes and those humungous sets they put in the back. I always appreciate it when bands have any sort of extra something with them while they tour here since it happens so rarely, it’s simply too expensive for bands to drag proper sets out here. Stage play was really excellent and there were so many moments where it just felt like we were all in a rock video. You know, Tyson outlined against a bank of lights, then the house lights come on and the crowd are all moving as one, hands in the air. It’s one of those quintessential live moments. Tyson had his trademark cheeky banter happening, teasing and flirting, and having a bit of a tiff with his microphones. While doing Real World he had two which to me just painted an incredibly cool picture. There was also this sweet moment when I noticed a girl being dragged out of the crowd by security and he leaned down and sort of sang to her. He’s such a charmer.

As arresting as Tyson is live, I love watching Nick Wheeler play guitar. He blew me away the first time I saw them and I was really looking forward to it this time. It doesn’t happen very often, but he’s just one of those that I can watch all day. Really, Nick Wheeler with a guitar is up there as one of my all time favourite things. He’s so effortless, and he is so good at it. He just makes it look so easy and he clearly loves every single minute of it. I find that completely intoxicating. He struts around the stage and just enjoys himself. It’s brilliant.

I was very happy with the set, ranging from Paper Heart and Swing, Swing to It ends tonight and Straitjacket feeling. They also did The last song and I completely forgot how much I loved that song. There was a wonderful rendition of Mona Lisa, preceded by a passionate mini-speech by Tyson saying how they bleed on stage for their fans and really believe in what they do. Honestly, I believe him, it just shows.

It was one of those nights that reminded me why I got into this music thing in the first place. I've been fairly gig-deprived lately, the last being MSI in April with Abs. Last night I felt a jolt I haven’t felt in ages, that pure exhilaration that comes from a good rock show by a band who clearly love what they do, and put everything into every single minute of it. I am ashamed to admit I haven’t felt that in quite some time, last time must have been TAI. I think a good band makes every time you see them seem as amazing as the first, just as much fun, energy and excitement, regardless of how many times you have actually seen them. You don't question or think, you just enjoy. My Chem do it, whereas Fall Out Boy do not. I love them dearly, but their live shows don’t really do much for me anymore. So yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve done a gig review like this because I guess it’s been a while since I’ve felt so inspired by one.

Thanks AAR, this was exactly what I needed. Thanks Em, for being a good sport and coming along!

Next week it’s TAI/Anberlin with Roze. I have a good feeling. It’ll be like the fifth Friday in a row I’ll be out. Social life, it exists.

Music: All Blacks v Wallabies game
Mood: Content

It never feels out of place

I acquired this little thing for Daffodil Day and while it is quite cute (yes I'm a sucker for things like that) to the point where it challenges my Bumble Bee bulldog for cutest charity critter (the bulldog still wins, it has a hood!), I can't help but make the comparison...





It's Nerd!Owen *snort*

It took me forever to get that screencap, it would seem all the places I used to get caps from have shut down. Damn you, Children of Earth!

Right, focus, I've got two hours to write as much as possible before heading out for AAR. Win!

Music: Gives you hell - The All American Rejects
Mood: Working

There is a bug in here...

I looked at my bedside table and thought yep, I'm definitely sick...the bedside table never lies.

--
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Plan of action

I have decided I need structure. So, after work I will:
- Check we have what I need to make pancakes
- Purchase said ingredients if necessary
- Purchase more flu meds
- Take Oreo for a walk
- Give Oreo a bath
- Write final 1,500 words of narrative
- Make pancakes
- Write non-linear posts equating 5000 words for inbetween narrative.
- Berate self for crappy writing
- Send piece to friends
- Sleep

Sleep is only viable when all of this is done. Friday after work I will then check responses and email it to my supervisor. I will then start writing up key points for my exegesis. The evening will be dedicated to gaping at Tyson Ritter. After work on Saturday, there shall be more general research. Sunday, if we aren't moving, I shall head to the state library for some serious research. I'm seriously contemplating taking next week off work, just to catch up on some of this stuff as well as the whole moving debacle. Ugh.

I've really reached the point where I'm extremely tightly wound and ready to go off the rails. Must do work. Must be productive. Must not flunk out of Honours and waste year of life.

Deep breaths.

Edit 2.07: Oreo's been walked and washed. The sun's out so I no longer feel like pancakes, instead making Penne al Pollo with a tomato and garlic sauce and lots of mozzarella. Now, to the writing!
--
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Head explosion imminent

Blogspot deleted one of my posts, it would appear they take affront to my playlists. Still...don't do that! How am I supposed to know what I said in that post, I will never get it back you know! I hate that. There's a reason I blog and it's not to entertain whimsical delusions of grandeur or narcissism. It's to catalogue. Grrr. By the looks of things it was the post about Lizzie's farewell, the party at World Bar, and such. It was probably the Brand New song that did it. This is why I should do write in Word first, instead of doing it directly. Bah.

I have a splitting headache that makes me want to roll over and die if it means it'll stop. I'm just blogging this and then retreating to a dark corner to do aforementioned rolling over and dying.

I saw District 9 today, it was every bit as bizarre as I though it would be. For those who don't know, it's about an extraterrestrial race forced to live in slum-like conditions after their ship coasts to a halt above Johannesburg. The film starts out as a documentary about the "relocation" of this slum before descending into chaos as unwitting beaurocrat Wikus Van De Merwe gets handed way more than he can handle. When I first saw the previews I was dreading another apartheid film (I think all South Africans can say they are well and truly not interested in watching those kinds of things, it's painful and draining and I, for one, have had more than enough) so the appearance by the aliens completely threw me for a loop. The film did not disappoint. It is utterly bizarre, and equal parts hilarious as I understand the Afrikaans going on in the background. One moment made me think of Abbi - her favourite swear word puts in an appearance! Made me giggle. I admit that there may be a bit of nostalgia involved as well, even if just because of that shot of the Vodacom tower at the end, which I still think of as the Coca-Cola tower and that I've spent many nights staring at since there's a perfect view of it and the surrounding area from my grandparents' backyard. Oh, and the typical South African approach to things. It's actually a very believable, very real film despite the gross aliens. Yes, that's the technical term.

Wikus' approach to his problem near the end of the film greatly reminded me of my own strategy when playing tactical computer games - namely run and shoot and just pray you're going in the right direction and doing the right thing (I can't even tell you how many times I reached the next level in a game without having any idea what I was doing). There are of course socio-political aspects at play in the film, but it's so subtle that it doesn't dominate your experience. It's easy to draw parallels but I appreciate not being hit over the head with a message that has essentially been done to death. It makes a refreshing change. I was a bit grossed out by certain things, but this is still an "alien movie" and so it's probably to be expected. I thought the production was excellent too. The film has overall gotten rave reviews and in the US I believe it actually opened at the top of the box office, many have even noted it may be the sleeper hit of the summer.

But I just have to say...there is no Kempton Park University. I couldn't let that go. My brain just stuttered and tripped over itself.

Music: The Simpsons
Mood: Sick

I want to see movies of my dreams

Vanity of vanities, the Preacher saith,
All things are vanity. The eye and ear
Cannot be filled with what they see and hear.
Like early dew, or like the sudden breath
Of wind, or like the grass that withereth,
Is man, tossed to and fro by hope and fear:
So little joy hath he, so little cheer,
Till all things end in the long dust of death.
To-day is still the same as yesterday,
To-morrow also even as one of them;
And there is nothing new under the sun:
Until the ancient race of Time be run,
The old thorns shall grow out of the old stem,
And morning shall be cold and twilight grey




The one certainty - Christina Rossetti
[Pic from here]

Music: Car - Brand New (cover)
Mood: Drained

Lend to my ear a clear and a deafening sound

I return to the land of blogging after another major argument with my father. Over nothing, as per usual. I'm so tired of him just bossing me around and not listening to what I'm saying. He's just always so sure his viewpoint is the right, and only, one there is. I am tired; I am stressed; I have worked two days of back to back double shifts; I have yet to make progress on my piece so 4,000 words to be written; I have prior engagements that cannot be put off; I don't know whether I should be packing or unpacking and I just want my some consistent normality; and it seems thousands of razorblades have taken up residence in my throat. I'm not exactly in the best frame of mind to just let things go. Petulance, your name is Jen.

I'm verging on the stage where everything descends into a borderline blind panic. I haven't had that since I had to do three-unit math exams. Can't say I've missed it. But what can you do, trudge along.

Meant to mention this earlier but got sidetracked. I was trying to decide whether I should take Martha or Jack to Penrith last Friday and mum insisted I take Martha because, and I quote, "Jack is reckless, Jack gets people killed!" There was a moment where I just looked at her and we both promptly dissolved into giggles. I love that this has managed to translate into my relationship with my parents, my mother in particular. She's really taken to it. It makes a nice change.

On the moving front, will someone please shoot me and put me out of my misery? Don't know if we are moving anymore since apparantly the bank/owner have reached an "agreement". Ahuh yeah, and how long will this last? I don't actually want to move, but I don't want to go through this every three months either. If he can't keep up with his mortgage this will just keep repeating. Our lease is only for a year, of which there is nine months left, I dont' exactly want to be living out of boxes for that time. Goddamnit. The poor estate agent is having a nervous breakdown, she has her obligations to this owner and to the one of the Forks house we were supposed to be moving to. I'm just so over it. I'll live in a tent in the backyard if it means people will just leave me alone.

I really need to focus on my Honours, I only have like 76 days left or something. I don't want to deal with all this crap!

General state of study environment before:


What has become of everything after:


This is not conducive to a happy working relationship. The fact that Jasper's quality is consideriably crappier than my camera is further proof of the deterioration of this state of affairs.

Sigh.

Oh, while I was packing I found some soap bubbles...


Oreo, believe it or not, was scared of them. She's a great guard dog *rolls eyes*


Random observation, I am so underwhelmed by the new Kisschasy single, Generation Why. It just...I don't know, it lacks energy I suppose. That spark that made me love them so much that I never missed a show. I'm also not really all that impressed with the new Cobra Starship album.

Anyway. I need to get some flu meds in me, followed by a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I have a free screening of District 9 to attend.

Music: Ramalama - Roisin Murphy
Mood: Sick

Find the map and draw a straight line

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming!
Because you're breaking my heart.

[Pic from here]

Music: Complete silence
Mood: Exhausted

Always where I need to be

"[In the loop is] a very episodic film, that feels like a stretched version of a TV show." Hmm. That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that it IS based on a tv show, would it? Honestly, don't writers do research anymore? It's not even hard, a quick imdb would have done it. It drives me mad when they miss blatantly obvious things like that.

Also, the following popped up in my google reader [from here, context = Montreal Worldcon]:
Anyhow, Saturday morning found me on what I thought was going to be another of those 'is this the five minute argument?' panels. This one asked the question, to quote from the programme booklet: 'How are current SF movies and TV shows reinforcing out of date attitudes and prejudices?' Not are they, but how are they. That urge for consensus again that's created dire religious yearnings like The Singularity. Or so I thought when going in. As it turned out, it was a bunch of cool people having a rather nice chat about the issues. You never can tell. And I just got to say 'Torchwood' like it was a get out of jail free card...

Yeah, it used to be like that. I was about to say 'oh the good old days' but on top of my scoffing at school children, I just end up sounding like a grumpy old woman. I'm so old! *throws self melodramatically on couch* Three words - jaded, indie, kid. The plot was lost somewhere along the way. Oh well.

I should stop sitting around muttering under my breath. World bar tonight, teapots of long island ice teas lie in my future. Something tells me this won't end...respectably.

Music: Always where I need to be - The Kooks
Mood: Lazy

Never mention the dreams I keep from you

153 unread items *groans*

The first line-up announcement for Soundwave went out today:



I’m never keen to go but every year they release a line-up that I can’t resist. There's no way I can turn down MCR, TBS, AFI and HIM (and there’s always a chance Brand New might come out.) Now I just have to decide whether I should shell out $150 for the festival or just wait and pray the bands I want to see do sideshows, and go to that instead. Sigh. Music is hell on the finances.

I don’t get why some people say the 456 are such scary aliens. I don’t think they’re that scary. I mean I found them utterly disgusting and creepy, but not really terror-inducing (why hello there, Weeping Angels). They’re confined to a box and have a mucus problem. Excuse me if I’m not exactly cowering in fear at this. The whole not breathing oxygen thing also makes me feel I may have the upper-hand here. That in itself raises so many other questions, for example why did they build the special cage thing for them in the first place? I mean honestly, why are the government so scared of these damn aliens? This is, after all, the same government who had a nuclear plan B to blow up the planet rather than submit to aliens, the same government who blew up the Sycorax when they were actually retreating (and whatever happened to that giant laser anyway?) But to the aliens with a regurgitation problem they say ‘oh by all means, how may we serve you?’ Um ok…what? Ugh.

I still can’t watch that thing, I look at the dvd and it kind of makes me feel sick. I’ve had it for over three weeks now and it’s still in its packaging, untouched. It’s sad, I know, but I can’t help it.

Vaguely related, I didn’t know Steven Moffat helped to write the script for the first Adventures of Tintin film for Spielberg. I’m not sure how I feel about a Tintin movie. I didn’t mind the comics, but I could never stand the television show. It’s got Jamie Bell in it though, oh and Simon Pegg, Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig. Only due out next December…that’s ages away! Hello, over-eager reporting.

Productive day in the library yesterday - from 9 until after 3. I became quite friendly with the girls sharing my table, they were studying for their Modern History exam and I couldn't resist commenting when the moaning about sources and WWI began. I was absolutely starving by the time I got home though, it was far too much effort to find a place to eat when I left the library and my leg was so not co-operating with walking. Overall though, I’m almost done with the narrative part of my creative piece. I just need about 1,000 more words to cover the last two elements. I can then do the random interruptions, discussions, blogs and tweets that go in between segments, and then the first draft is done. I’m not happy with it. At all. I am having the worst time trying to write it. I’ve never had this much difficulty writing. Usually once I start it just goes, but this is like getting blood out of a stone. I think I may just have mentally blocked myself with all my apathy and procrastination. Hopefully it’ll all come together once I’ve gotten some concrit back on the first draft.

Tonight, Martha and I are heading out to Penrith to say bon voyage to Lizzie. She’s off on her much-planned adventure around the UK and Canada, and I won’t see her again until November. I have to make the hour drive back tonight which I’m not particularly looking forward to, especially since Martha is still new and I can’t exactly go tearing down the highway. Oh noes, self-restraint! At least I can hook Beckettoo up, unlimited musical choice FTW.

P.S. I hate the cover of the new Cobra Starship album.

Music: The scene is dead (long live the scene) - Cobra Starship
Mood: Rushed

Forever to search for the flame

Ugh. Pain. Fairly sure I've strained a muscle today, I can barely move my leg. I also have a ginormous bruise on my collarbone from where my bag cut into my shoulder. See, I was hanging with Lizzie today and we were originally going to the movies so I thought it would be fine to take my laptop along, but instead we ended up wandering around the city for hours. Lugging it along wasn't a complete waste though, I did get some work done at the State Library this morning and will hopefully get even more done tomorrow. Anyway, did some shopping despite my better judgement, tried on a dress that was about ten sizes smaller than the tag said it was, and got Lizzie a going away present of sorts. Overall, not bad. Exhausted now though.

In other news, this house business is driving me up the wall. So over it, just want to live in a cardboard box. So much paperwork and red tape and just annoying things that I can't be bothered even contemplating. I think I'll just sit in the corner and ignore everything.

Last night, the girls and I went to see Avenue Q. Epic. Glee. I think it's safe to say we had a great time. It was especially hilarious since we had conversations very similar to the content while having dinner before the show...you know, things like the extreme uselessness of BA's in English/Writing and everyone being a bit racist. Of course it has just given us more random things to say at inappropriate times. Roze and I have already messaged each other about bad news bears and 'If you were gay' lyrics. Good times.

I also have to mention that lovely Abbi adopted a word for me! FLAIL. Haha, WIN. You rock dude!

Law and Order: UK premieres tonight (I've already had to field a few "Hey, it's Martha!" comments.) I shall be watching for the sheer novelty of it, see if it's any good. I'm quite sick of Law & Order to be honest, my dad is a total junkie and easily watches an episode a day. There's only so much *gavel sound* I can take.

Music: Daniel - Bat For Lashes
Mood: Sore

Don't throw it all away

I'm freezing my ass off. I'm hoping the new house has carpets in the rooms cause this tile business is beyond stupid *shivers* I'm currently wondering whether I should go to a doctor since my muscles are aching like they're on fire and I haven't done anything, so it can't be normal activity related muscle pain. My shins, in particular, are hurting like all hell, but I suspect that may be in some way related to the ballet flats I wear to work. They're supposed to be bad for your feet, so hey, makes sense.

Danny's band is in the charts. How random is that?

What else, what else....work today was a nightmare. So many people, I was contemplating the validity of shooting some of them to put them out of their misery. Sigh. I've been cooking a lot lately, made dinner three times last week. Tonight I made chicken parmigiana with roast potatoes, vegetables, and garden salad. Apparantly there's a beautiful kitches in the new place, so I may even start cooking properly. It's quite a relaxing activity in some weird way.

Tonight's agenda includes hot chocolate and good news week, followed by manic typing in vague hope of finishing first draft. Tomorrow's revolves around some more work, manic typing, and Avenue Q.

Should probably do some more packing as well - so far I've managed 11 boxes and they consist of my books and cds. I am a firm believer of "no such thing as too many books" but all this moving thing is testing my faith.

Music: It's not over yet - Klaxons
Mood: Cold

I touch the place where I'd find your face

"Time may be relevant but nothing lasts forever. Everything falls apart in the end, a soft unraveling of the very fabric of existence. It doesn't matter if it's a single-cell amoeba, a city, or a civilization - everything has its time. Everything dies, and suffering...suffering is part of the human condition."

I'm trying to harness the dark mood that's been hanging around for the past month for my creative piece. The numb complacency which has developed as a result wasn't proving useful so I purposefully watched something that sent my emotions into a free-fall. Paired with this Snow Patrol song that for some inexplicable reason just jangles the right nerves, I now feel sufficiently fragile to write. However, I am definitely questioning the standard of said writing. God forbid creativity ever seems rational.

Little Miss Sunshine was on tonight and I made the parentals watch it. Such a good movie. Have had far too much sugar this weekend - peppermint crisp tart FTW. Wish I could have been more productive though. Really need to get this first draft sent off and start packing up my stuff. We should be able to move in next Monday. Gah. So over all this crap.

Photo essay of the arduous moving process to follow...

Your words in my memory are like music to me

Music: Set fire to the third bar - Snow Patrol
Mood: Frustrated

It's just a ghost that came unbidden

Bless this tiny alley
we have fallen from tall buildings
we have fallen
bless the birth of him
the chapel he was killed in
all these tiny flowers
they have sat under the sidewalk
they have waited for the pieces
of the summer sun to show us
all that is your beauty and
all that is your treasure
I could smell your skin beside me
say I hope I'm here forever
but captain with your lovers
with your list of favorite pillows
with your favorite list of children
and the wall where you drew windows
overlooking tiny gardens
cut in two by jagged mountains
and the secret sacred sharing
that went on beside the fountain
where the water waits forever
for a tiny tiny treasure
that will rise up and recover
that will leave this tiny alley
when you meet me in the garden
with your wings all dipped in cedar
all these spirits brushing past me
brushing past me in the ether
say "all this is window dressing
all you are is flimsy curtains
you will flame up with a word from us
and won't know that you're burning."

Music: For the Captain - Okkerville River
Mood: Working

Ho hum

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
The brave man with a sword!

Some kill their love when they are young,
And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
The dead so soon grow cold.

Why am I so obsessed with this thing?

Music: 30 Rock
Mood: Tired

I'm hiding out in the big city blinking

Just got back from Roze's, so full now! She had a delicious Tiramisu cake. Om nom nom. It was quite a nice relaxing evening, just chatting and being idiots over dinner. I'm quite content to curl up in a warm bed and sleep now. Hmmm sleep.

Tomorrow consists of work in the morning and significant thesis work afterwards. Significant dammit!

Random thoughts I had today -

I'm going to be so busy next week. I've got Avenue Q with the girls, hanging out with Lizzie on Wednesday, another possible study date/break with Roze, Lizzie's farewell on Friday, and then Annie's birthday party on Saturday night. Plus there's another play/cabaret/thing we want to go to, but it closes on the 22nd so we'd have to fit it in before then and inbetween the two gigs I have lined up, plus thesis work, plus various movie dates. Wait...I think...I think I have a social life. Shocking.

I got stupidly excited earlier about The View being on the Falls Festival line up , then I remembered the festival happened in Victoria. Fail. I could probably trek down there with friends, but it seems like so much effort. Would be a great NYE though. Still, hope they do sideshows. Can't come all the way out here just for one show. That'd be mad. While we're on the subject of festivals and line-ups, You Me At Six have been confirmed for next year's Soundwave. I'm fairly meh about the whole thing so far, although Spinnerette, Billy Talent, and Alexisonfire are rumoured to be on the bill as well. There's the whole cost thing too, it was just too expensive this year and if anything, it'll probably have gone up. Ah well, don't really like festivals anyway, I always hold out hope for the sideshows.

Pegged pants are making a come-back? Oh god, please tell me they’re joking. I’m tired of these stupid cyclical fashion trends. I went shopping the other day and there was just boho stuff everywhere, didn’t we do that like two years ago? Can’t we space it out a bit more at least? Blah. Shopping has been very unfulfilling lately.

I follow this completely rambling movie blog through google reader that just updates way too much, but often they amuse me, so I stick with it. Today I was greeted with the tag “Guy Ritchie admits ‘Sherlock Holmes’ is totally gay?” and it goes on to talk about the supposed undertones in the upcoming Holmes movie (which I've been quite keen to see, the first preview made it seem like one of those movies I will adore regardless of how atrocious it is.) I can’t say I’m very surprised by this revelation, there’s always been that kind of undertone to Ritchie’s work. It’s part of the reason I loved Rock’n’Rolla as much as I did cause I so did not see that coming and Lizzie and I were in hysterics for the duration. So I say bring it on. I can’t believe that sort of thing still has the ability to aggravate the studio or turn audiences away. Seriously? C’mon people, live a little! Actual post be here.

One of the guys at mum’s work has gotten into Torchwood, he’s just about halfway through season 1. I’m watching his progress with some bemusement since he’s one of those real blokey bloke metalhead types. I have gotten half that office making Whoniverse jokes, I’m so proud of myself. Dad’s colleagues are coming along nicely as well. It’s the power of my keychain, you see. Whenever that’s lying about, they all regress to the age of 6.

We hopefully have a house to move into. We’re just waiting for the paperwork to come through. Yet again, I haven’t seen it since the open house I went to fell through. It’s just a suburb over from where we live now, so the move shouldn’t be an epic quest. That’s something at least. I’ve seen the outside of the place and considering it’s surrounding area, it look like I’m moving to Forks (seriously, look at all the trees.) It’s a bit smaller than the place currently in, so we’ll see how we go. I do not look forward to dragging my stuff up the stairs. I have my doubts whether my bed will make it to be honest. It barely survived the move here…but whatever. No point speculating about these things.

This is amazing 3D art.

These drawings are quite cute as well. Random, but cute.

I am freezing. Ugh. Blankets. Now.

P.S. Currently completely in love with this song -

Let's forget about the tongue-tied lightning
Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers
This is not a joke, so please stop smiling
What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?

I want to glide through those brown eyes dreaming
Take it from the inside, baby hold on tight
You were so right when you said that I've been drinking
What was I thinking when I said good night?

I want to hold you in the Bible-black predawn
You're quite a quiet domino, bury me now
Take off your Band-Aid because I don't believe in touchdowns
What was I thinking when I said hello?

I'd always thought that if I held you tightly
You'd always love me like you did back then
Then I fell asleep and the city kept blinking
What was I thinking when I let you back in?

Music: I am trying to break your heart - Wilco
Mood: Cold, but overall content

Social networking has deserted me

LJ is still not working for me. All these jokes about work productivity soaring over the last 24hrs are not that funny when I'm bored out of my mind.

Now Twitter's doing the same thing. I thought they fixed that! Internet fail. Seriously, technology is evil. You become so entrenched in it without even realising, and then it stops working and you stand around gaping ineffectually. Sigh. At least I brought a book today but it's significantly harder to covertly read under the desk than it is to just have Jasper around.

Mutters regarding the madness be here, here, and here.

--
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]

Sounded like an alarm of impending doom

Shaun Tan does such gorgeous graphic novels/picture books/whatever. I stumbled onto this extract via the nominations list for the World Fantasy Awards. There are two Aussies nominated as far as I can tell, Margo Lanagan for 'Tender Morsels'. I should probably read that and talk to Mandy about it, since she does the whole reworking of fairy tales as well.

Speaking of, spent the day at the State Library. I had a little time around 9 just to sit in the sun, while trying to recover from my epic bus travel sickness which has stuck around all day, before venturing in with Roze for some productivity. Shocking. I got some ideas down for my piece and read two anthologies on closed reserve that Mandy had recommended. It was thoroughly depressing. Everything involved a death, or breakdown of some sort. Is there no way to be "real" without being utterly morbid? 'Boner Mcpharlin's moll' by Tim Winton, was beautifully done - a soft tension that builds and unfurls steadily over years. It touches keenly on isolation and breakdown, and just proved to be quite powerful in the end. I also read a novella entitled 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' by Peter Goldsworthy, which was just unsettling as the three year old daughter of a perfect family prone to sticking their head in the sand is diagnosed with leukemia. What they decide to do when her time is up is twisted. The kids and the desolation just reminded me of Children of Earth and it's just too soon! I'm not ready! Sigh. When I finally left just before three it was with the same kind of unsettling feeling I had when I read Ecstasy by Irvine Welsh.

I stopped by Myer to check out a dress I had quite liked in the catalogue - Grace & Hart, called 'book of miracles' - and ran into Em, which was quite a nice surprise. We had a quick amble about, tried some chocolate tea which was surprisingly nice, before going our separate ways again. Dinner at Roze's tomorrow, always fun.

Oh, I meant to say, that Peter Goldsworthy novella I mentioned before had quite the brilliant afterword. I kinda want to staple it to someone's forehead...

The best stories are often deceptively simple, they speak to us, to our unconscious, in ways that cannot immediately be grasped, but we feel the fit, even as we are horrified, or awed. Stories about the death of children are not new, of course - they are among the oldest, their common tune one of the most easily played for effect. Dickens killed more babies than a minor diphtheria epidemic, and even Oscar Wilde's famous comment that anyone who could read the death of Little Nell without laughing 'had a heart of stone' is surely a defence against his own suppressed sentimentality. Wilde may or may not have convinced himself, but he has helped to convince us: a Dickensian rendering - a rending - of the death of a child is impossible in today's fictional world. "The blood of the children flowed in the streets...like the blood of the children," Pablo Neruda wrote in a famous attack on the use of artistic effects, such as simile and metaphor, to describe the unspeakable. Tell it plainly, I assume he was saying. Tell it as it is - at least when speaking of real deaths, real events.

But in the world of fiction?

Fiction is a different way of seeing - even its most plain-talking stories operate at a more mythic, universal level. It aims to tell the truth, yes - but in essence, in symbol, a deeper emotional language that illuminates the particulars.

After Dickens and Wilde - and Hollywood - stories must pluck at our emotions more subtly.

The story has an odd logic - but I hope it is a logic which still locks us in, subtly, and carries us, disbelief suspended, from comforting and loving suburban beginnings into a zone not so much twilight as midnight.

Like crabs in slow heated water, we find ourselves - I hope - being boiled alive, without noticing how we got there.

Where are we?

Among ancient instincts of sacrifice, and the dark comfort that the dying find in taking others with them, if given the chance, in their pyramids, on their funeral pyres, in their Berlin bunkers. In a world of repressed or sublimated spirituality. In a plce where the logic of love has carried us further than it had any right to do. Perhaps.

-- Peter Goldsworthy, Afterword: Jesus wants me for a sunbeam, Griffen Press:Aus, 1999, p.89-91

Music: Grapevine fires - Death Cab For Cutie
Mood: Productive

Please don’t cry we’re designed to die

“I don't want to have to argue with people,” he says. “Just to be myself.” It feels unfair and unending, like having to run as fast as you can just to stay in one spot.

Words are being painfully evasive. So many brilliant thoughts and views captured on pages that seem to only serve to discourage me. I don't have time for this. I haven't written anything creative in well over a month and I have to say it feels a lot like drawing in desperate breaths after nearly drowning. It hurts and offers little relief, but it'll settle eventually, once thought catches up with feeling.

Music: On and on and on - Wilco
Mood: Melancholic

You'd look finer with each day in hiding

There are two types of band that I find really hard to resist - the broody, introspective, angsty kind and the really clever kind. By angsty I don't mean emo "oh my girlfriend left me", Simple Plan angst (not that there's anything wrong with that), but more along the lines of Bright Eyes or even Blue October. As for the clever bands, I refer to bands like Forgive Durden that are just these lyrical, melodic forces of nature entrenched in curious word choices and references. For me, Say Anything has always been a bit of both. Max Bemis is alternately tongue in cheek and yet it's still quite heavy. 'Alive with the glory of love' for example can sometimes really break you down, where before it seemed quite joyful. The ability to capture a range of emotions in a way that is both thoughtful and often unexpected is what really makes a song count. And stick around. I mean I love a bit of pop music every now and then, but after exhaustively listening to it for the first week, it tends to fade back into obscurity.

Should they catch us and dispatch us to those separate work camps,
I'll dream about you. I will not doubt you with the passing of time
Should they kill me, your love will fill me as warm as the bullets,
I'll know my purpose. this war was worth this. I won't let you down,
No I won't...

On the topic of music, The Gaslight Anthem won best international newcomer at this year's Kerrang awards which is quite cool. Such a great band, really drawing on that classic old school garage rock sound but somehow rougher around the edges. I have been obsessed with 'Great Expectations' for the past two months.

Today's best random quote undoubtably goes to George from Being Human - "We're like the world's gayest ninjas!" That entire scene was made of win. The conversation with the chaplain comes in a close second though.
George: You're very sarcastic for a vicar
Chaplain: Yeah, so people tell me and I feel really bad about it but then, you know, I forgive myself.

Now enough muttering to myself, focus!

Music: Alive with the glory of love - Say Anything
Mood: Cold

Looking for faces in the clouds

Did it all get real, I guess it's real enough
They got refrigerators full of blood
Another century spent pointing guns
At anything that moves
Sometimes I worry that I've lost the plot
My twitching muscles tease my flippant thoughts
I never really dreamed of heaven much
Until we put him in the ground

But it's all I'm doing now
Listening for patterns in the sound
Of an endless static sea
But once the satellite's deceased
It blows like garbage through the streets
Of the night sky to infinity

But don't you weep
Don't you weep
There is nothing as lucky
Honey, don't you weep
Don't you weep
There is nothing as lucky, as easy, or free

This song has been on an endless loop in my mind since the 10th of July. It's provided a strange, unexpected comfort the past month.

Music: Easy, lucky, free - Bright Eyes
Mood: Hmm

I won't let them take you

I've gotten into the habit of calling Oreo schnuk (as in short for schnukel), for some unknown reason. I call her so many random things sometimes I'm amazed she still knows her name.

Anyway, no actual news to speak of really. I will now ramble pointlessly about television.

I've been watching True Blood on the behest of Judith, and I must say it's not bad. The accent completely threw me for a loop at the start but it makes it kind of endearing. The way Bill talks cracks me up though. It's got a very odd vibe, in a way it almost reminds me of Twin Peaks. "Don't say uh-oh, vampires don't say uh-oh!" It also has all the intesity I thought was missing from the Twilight movie. While I never doubted Edward and Bella in the books, in the movie it's the most ridiculous thing. This may be because of Cedric having the personality of a door nail, but I wouldn't want to speculate *shifty eyes*

I'm catching up on Being Human too which I confess is not as good as I'd anticipated but at least Mitchell more than compensates for this fact. It does have it's moments though, and I did enjoy the episode I watched today. Mind you, what is it with vampires being called Eric? Also who decided vampires should be completely sexed up? Maybe I'm weird but if I was creating a creature from folklore, I would not necessarily have gone "Ok now it drinks blood...and so it definitely has a lot of sex, yes that sounds about right." Might just be me though, I don't know.

I'm trying to catch up on all the shows I've missed - I still have to finish Life, which is a brilliant show that I absolutely adored, and Burn Notice. I also never quite got around to seeing the end of Veronica Mars. I'm behind on Numb3rs and NCIS - mostly because I never actually watch TV and so have to either wait for re-runs, the internet, or DVDs (and if I buy DVDs they have to be sequential and I have to have all of them, and it just leads to trouble.) Castle and Big Bang Theory are two others I need to get caught up on. Oh and 30 Rock which I've just recently started watching and quite enjoyed - took to it straight away which is more than I can say for Arrested Development. I also really want to get into Brothers & Sisters. Others I am currently eyeing include How I met your mother and Dead Like Me. Not to mention Buffy which I'm watching at Roze's continued subtle urging.

Trying to fit all this in with my reading, and all the movies I watch, is near impossible. It would probably be best just to set a weekend aside and get one show out of the way, otherwise it just seems to drag on forever. Unfortunately I don't have that kind of time on my hands and just squeeze them in randomly wherever I can - usually after midnight when sleep is being elusive. TV shows are great cause it's just an hour so it's a good time to make me sleepy, I don't really have to pay attention and if I do fall asleep during it, it's no big deal.

On that note, I can't believe it's August already. I have to implement some sort of plan to get my honours work done. I need a draft by the weekend or I'm royally screwed. So I'm thinking I'll start a routine tomorrow after work, get some writing done and some exercising too. Wednesday I'm out with Lizzie, but Thursday I'm at the state library with Roze. I'm sure I can get it done by Friday if I just focus. Then I can start doing proper research - first things first, reading Wolfgang Iser's work on reader response theory. We can go from there. August is meant to be my research month, then September I'm drafting the exegesis and re-writing the creative thesis. Hopefully I can stick with this. No, I resolve to stick with it. I've been wasting enough time doing nothing.

Plus I have to move again this month, better make the most of the time I have. Blah.

Music: True Blood ep 6
Mood: Underwhelmed

If there's a chance I'll take it

I love it when people justify the way a character is acting, whether on tv or in a movie, by saying "yeah but that's not the character's fault, it's just the way that he's been written." It sort of implies that these characters just stand around and are forced to do things that go against their nature simply because the writer has decreed it so. I can see a little character standing there arguing with the writer, "But I wouldn't do this!" and the writer would respond, "Look here, you do what I tell you to do, that's your job." It's such beautifully convoluted reasoning. I suppose that is kind of what happens in Jasper Fforde's Thursday Next reality though. But anyway.

There's an equation
You plus me equals death
To the science
At those who dare to forget
There was a time
Before girls knew they weren't pretty yet
There was a time
Before boys knew they weren't tough enough

You're the 8th wonder of the world
So don't abuse it
You're just another beating drum
A rhythm for generations to come
You're the 8th wonder of the world
Undisputed
Not just another bleeding heart
But a masterpiece a work of art

Edit 10:48pm : I miss my fandom. I both rue and lament having nothing new to add to it. It's just...sad. So yeah, I miss my fandom and I miss my OTP and no amount of other television show watching can distract me from the gaping hole left in my viewing routine. Yes, I'm sulking.

Music: 8th Wonder - The Gossip
Mood: Tired

Na na na na hey!

Oh dear, the garish light of day. Get it off me! Last night was quite epic. It is true that I am quite a geek and tend not to go out much, but for once I had every intention of making the most of it and actually did. Huzzah!

Dressed in various colours that were not black, the evening started off at Twelve, which I think is my new favourite restaurant. We were about 40 minutes late since there was taxi trouble, but what's the point of throwing a party if you can't arrive late, right? That's the story and we're sticking to it. It was a good group and though conversation veered well off the path of polite or appropriate, I think it's safe to say a good time was had by all. Especially those who got into the red wine. Not me, mind you, I stuck to the pinot grigio which I think is the best thing ever (Abbi's doing, tsk tsk). I also got two desserts since there was some sort of mix-up that resulted in a chocolate cake no one ordered. Far be it for me to let chocolate go to waste. Tiramisu and cake stand no chance against me, mwahaha and so on. We lost some of the party as the night went on, starting with Em and Angus, adorable as they are, until eventually there were 7 of us left puzzling over the bill that I was somehow meant to make sense of despite the fact that we had way more money than was actually needed. Oops.

Bundling half of our remaining group into a taxi, we weren't quite done yet, and so found ourselves in Kuleto's cocktail bar. A darkened corner - with a light! - turned out to be so much to our liking, we settled in for the night. It was at this point where all my intentions of going home evaporated. Hilarity ensued. Oh, and what hilarity. There were loud proclamations of love for bartenders insisting they were too old for us. There was Jeff, a guy who joined our party and we all assumed someone knew until we realised he was a complete stranger, but who stuck around intermittently - and who I think re-appropriated someone's scarf. There was a guy in golf get-up. There was needling with the bartender until we got an entire bowl of maraschino cherries - I have to give kudos to Annie for swinging this, even though they had me drink the juice...note to self, do not start any evening off by saying you'd do anything for these cherries. A lot of photos were taken, I fear them. More of Roze's friends came for drinks, and so the drinks kept coming. Annie and I were the voice of reason in trying to get everyone out (aka bar to taxi co-ordination skills.) Well, Annie may have been more reasonable since I was still quite keen on getting everyone parting shots first. We are however a pretty poor voice of reason, all things considered, since we were the ones doing the thieving. Ah well. I happily fell into Roze's insanely comfortable bed at some point well after 2.

I had to be up at an obscene time this morning to view some open houses with my mum, so I dragged myself rather unwillingly from my stupor before 8 and snuck out of the house. Didn't want to wake the two sleeping beauties who had been considerably worse off than me the previous evening. So glad I took the day off work though, I'd have been useless. Especially when the desperate need for bacon hit around 10. But yes, as far as evenings go, I'd say this was quite the roaring success. I insist we do it again. Monthly.

Now I have expended all my energy for the day and shall lie comatose on the couch watching Boondock Saints, or some such. Adieu.

Music: Poker face - Lady Gaga
Mood: A little rough around the edges

Voice of a nightingale

Introducing Martha to the family
--
From Jasper, with love.
[[Power and speed and death rolled into one]]