Monday, November 16, 2009

The truth about heaven

I thought NaNoWriMo was supposed to make you feel better about your writing. At the moment I just want to bang my head against the wall.

Ariene arrives at the rectory just before midnight. She is content to watch at first as she regains her breath. She had to improvise a bit, not having arranged previous transport, so she parked her Tesla two kilometers away and walked in along the back road. She preferred to hire bikes when doing a job, they were easier to conceal and made it much easier to lose a tail should it be required.
Ari isn’t usually one for going into something on a whim, but this is bloody Zusak. If she doesn’t act quickly she’ll miss her chance and that simply isn't an option. She really has an axe to grind with the man. After all, it is rather damaging to a reputation to have a bounty taken from under one’s nose, but what comes around goes around. Ari sniffs. Karma is a bitch.


On this topic, I feel I need to address Abbi's novel (which you can read by donating here). I know that she is completely heartbroken, an outcome I have been dreading from the start. It's so much worse knowing that it's unavoidable, a necessary step in another direction. It was hard enough to deal with in the first draft short story format, but the journey has been much bigger this time and the consequences hit even harder. I just want to give Abs a huge virtual hug and hope that everyone who can actually give her a real hug will do so for me.

When I first came up with Eric over two years ago (I can't believe it's been that long), I saw a pale, too-thin guy who sneered at the world and swore to love nothing. He was broken, contradictory, confrontational and absolutely gorgeous. Along with Blake, Chris and Tyler, Abbi and I created our ultimate band that we loved enough to plan an entire television show around. And make no mistake, we really do love these boys. They are very much real to us. I've always favoured Eric in my flashfic pieces because he is so fucked up which gives me a lot of depth to work with. It's wrong to play favourites I know, but I love the boy to death.

Abs and I went all out creating back stories for these boys, but I don't think either of us could ever have predicted how attached we would become to Eric's. Again, there was just so much there to work with. When Anthony came to Abbi, it all just fell into place, and she sculpted this tale that fit my boy perfectly. It is hard to go through it, and I know it is incredibly hard for Abs to write it because I know how much she loves Anthony, but it is sadly necessary for the bigger picture. A picture I hope you will all one day see. In the end it is the characters that dictate the path of the story.

I realise I have just justified something as being "necessary for the story" - a line of thought I have been vehemently contesting since July. I promise you that this is nothing like that. It is not something that could have been avoided and it is not something that was entered into lightly or happily, and certainly not something we'll be making fun of in the future. Because we are real writers, and sometimes your characters creep in under your skin and become as close to you as our own flesh and blood.

I just had to write something cause I need people to know how incredibly hard this is for her. This is the best I can do stuck halfway across the world and without cursed live messenger. Much love dude. I'm sorry that I inadvertently made this a necessity. I really am.

Music: The fan squeaking
Mood: Dizzy

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