Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered

I am feeling emo about NaNoWriMo (convenient that it kind of rhymes). I don't like failing things, it drives me ever so slightly loopy. It gnaws at me. That's why I have this terrible habit of not pursuing things I am not immediately good at, I cannot stand the possibility of failing so I don't even try. That's the odd twist of my perfectionism.

My perfectionism is also what is making this so hard. I'm self-editing and thinking too much as I go along, wasting time over where to break sentences, and whether to include a comma there or not. It's counterproductive to just getting the damn story out there. I keep telling this to myself and yet my brain keeps going "yes, yes, in a minute." Now I need 19,000 words to end this madness and I have what, 5 days left.

I'm annoyed more than anything. I don't do failure. I don't do not reaching word limits. After everything I've managed to do this year, am I really going to let a little bit of creative writing get the better of me? Creative writing, for crying out loud, it's supposed to be my playground.

The answer is no, I am not. NaNoWriMo thinks it can upset me and keep me down, well it clearly doesn't know me very well.

Music: Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy
Mood: Determined

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