The night is too beautiful to fear the uncertainty

"What are you doing?"

There is light in the dark. Tiny pinpoints from unmentionable distances away, blinking and dancing in galaxies whose names I don’t remember. It takes forever and a day for the light to reach us here, and by the time we do see it, as soft words are carried away on a summer breeze, that star could already be dead. Burnt out, snuffed out, extinguished, and gone, beyond recall. Distance and time, such fragile concepts. Both have a mind of their own, sentient manifestations within my own soul. Sometimes far too quick, sometimes agonizingly slow. Never the way you wanted it at the time. Retrospection. We never know what we need until we look back on it. We never fully appreciate the inestimable layers found in a day; a normal, every day. We never fully appreciate beauty until it’s gone.

It grounds me. I spin until I fall in the tall grass, itching but not moving, dizzy but not caring. I imagine I can feel the world turn, see the world turn. I watch the horizon, the curve of the earth. I climb onto the roof and watch the light changing. Azure, light magenta, persimmon, vermillion, champagne, sapphire, midnight, salmon, fandango, ice. Nothing stirs. I am a speck. Another soul, uncertain and misguided. A grain of sand on a beach. A bubble in the ocean. Life moves around me. I am insignificant in the face of three hundred and sixty five (and a quarter) rotations. Inconsequential at twenty three (and a half) degrees. The changing of my moods is infinitesimal to the changing of the seasons, but we all wait. Waiting for revolutions. Waiting for reasons. Waiting for equinoxes. Waiting for understanding. And you.

There is nothing. I am nothing. Nothing other than this. Sleepless nights under a canopy of distant light, the sighing music of the wind. Nerve endings like violin strings. The ghost of a touch across the tension. Deep breaths and tingling skin. Steal my breath. Break my heart. Tangle in my senses. Give me an impression of being in this world. It’s there, in the pale moonlight, in the death throes of a twinkling star. Waiting for this moment to be taken. Feel it in the turn of the earth, feel it under your feet. Swallow it whole and never look back. I am nothing. This is nothing. And it is perfect.

"Loving every breath of you."

Music: Gorecki - Lamb
Mood: Drained