Thursday, April 8, 2010

No sweeping exits

I suddenly have so much work I feel like crying. Well I say suddenly, it's not sudden at all, I signed up for it after all and well, if it wasn't for my procrastinating it probably wouldn't feel so overwhelming. But still....woe!

That independent editing position I signed up for at the start of the year has just come through, so I have to organise all that and get it off the ground. I have to finish this presentation for next week, which I fear is terribly pointless at the moment but as per usual I am too floored by the necessity of having to do a presentation to really care (oh how I loathe them, someone pass the xanax), my critical writing essays are still only vague thoughts and I have to hammer together a proposal for this academic paper for Monday (and it has to be good because I want an unexpected trip to the UK!) So the general time frame for all of this is within in the next four days, preferably. I've said it before, and I'll no doubt say it again, sleep is for the weak people!

There's also this whole thing where I constantly feel like I'm disappointing everyone, like I can never give enough of myself. I don't know what to do about this. I don't know when to leave people alone when they ask, and when not to even when they do ask. I don't know how to accomodate everyone. It's so hard juggling everything. Harder than it should be.

But anyway, what's new? I don't really have much to contribute really. I've had one of those weeks where I do nothing, sleep late, and then run around saying how much work I have. I like to call it the "the routine of mock productivity." Had a good class on Wednesday, we seem to always have lively, productive discussions. I also manage to make the early train with some serious power-walking, unlike my Tuesday class which absolutely never finishes at a decent time. It's taking me a lot longer to get used to these evening classes than I expected. I thought that being such a night owl would make it much easier but it's actually quite draining (mostly I blame the train rides in and out for this, if they'd only hurry up with teleportation I wouldn't have these problems!) I'm looking forward to the break though I really must do work for a really, I mean it this time!

Bah. Writing this is actually just another form of procrastination. I'd better get some coffee and finish this cursed presentation or there will be serious repercussions in the morning. Hm. Threatening myself is really not as effective as I'd like it to be.

Oh, before I go, I realise Day 30 of the meme is still outstanding, it is coming - I'm compiling a playlist and have not yet found time to really make a selection, but it'll happen.

Music: Flowers and football tops - Glasvegas
Mood: Bit annoyed at myself really


  1. i am so with you on this one, this week nothing has happened. Oh and i got rejected by that job that i was aiming for, the job agent liked me though. But the job i was looking to apply changed their mind and decided to look for a more experienced person. I guess they realised 47k is a lot for a jr hahaha.

    heres something to brighten ur day, how wud u like if i giv u ur bday present early this yr? oh say next time i see u. i ordered ur dr who toys thinking itll be sold out by ur bday, only when it came i didnt realise it wud be so big. Well not huge, but u know i dont want it sititng in my room collecting dusk, so ur getting it soon! =P

  2. You're so adorable! I'd love to have my goodies, of course. It's kind of ironic that your present is so epically late and mine is so early! We need to compromise!