Thursday, April 15, 2010

Coffee is for closers

I've realised that I've been repeating myself on here a fair bit lately - sorry about that, my mind is just all over the place and I have no idea whether I actually did something or merely thought about doing it. I have a two week break from uni and I'd say that I'd use this time to get everything sorted out, but knowing me, I'd just be lying to myself. I think I want a group of procrastination cheerleaders to follow me around, like in that Nicorette ad.

First things first, I did my presentation and survived. Always a plus. Even more shocking, no one seemed overly against my choice, which is an entirely new and novel experience for me. I'm used to having a strong dislike expressed for Hemingway, so that was certainly unexpected. It was my only presentation for the semester, so I'm glad to be done with it. I really don't like the things, which worries me a bit, how will I cope when I have to present a paper? Eep.

It was a good class in general last night. We had a guest lecture with James Bradley, who I think I've mentioned on here before. I'm a bit sentimental when it comes to him because he gave my first ever writing class at uni (which, for some reason, feels like a stupidly long time ago). Actually, I don't know if sentimental is the right word, first semester was mostly one giant downswing, and I'm fairly convinced I acted like a complete fool in that class. Though I think I'm an idiot in all my classes, that's the perfectionism kicking in. I don't know why I think of these things, living in my head can sometimes be a real chore.

Anyway, I'm getting off track, we can psycho-analyse later. I find it interesting to think of that class and how much has changed since. I don't really notice time passing until I have cause to think back to something. I don't know how much I've changed as a person (though I'd like to think I'm less nervy and self-conscious than I used to be) but my writing has certainly changed. I think the best thing I've learnt since then is that I can't write to other people's expectations, something I often find myself doing. Whenever I'd have to do a writing assignment for class, I'd sit there and think 'right, what do they expect of me?' instead of just writing how I normally would. I'd worry about the kind of structure they expect, the kind of subject matter, everything. Frankly, it results in some bland, stunted writing because I'm forcing myself to think and feel something that is entirely not me. I felt I was doing that last month when I had the writer's block, but once I just stopped thinking about it, things worked out much better. In a way, I think blogging is immensely useful for that. It centers me.

Today, however, has been hellish. It was alright this morning even though productivity continues to elude me, but work was complete mayhem with the computer not working and back-ups not working...just gah. In the end I had to re-enter the entire day's transactions, and then I realised it was using yesterday's date *headdesk* So now the entire bank sheet is going to be a day behind. But it's there. They were still struggling with it when I left, I just hope things work by morning cause we're booked out.

Em and her significant other stopped by this evening, so I finally got to give her the Tiffany's charm. She also brought along my obscenely early birthday present - a TARDIS USB Hub and a Dalek alarm clock. Fandom win!! We both cheered when we connected the USB hub and it made the TARDIS sound. We're geeky, and proud. All three of us tried, and failed, to get the alarm clock to work. It just would not go off! We want to hear the Dalek berate us and flash! It's really overly complicated, and completely beyond us. We got the clock to work though, so that's a plus!

Hee! The Who merch continues to mass.

On that note, I am off to Melbourne tomorrow (later today?) I almost typed off to Paris, but I am not that lucky. I'll no doubt be bombarding Twitter for the duration. There will be giggling, sarcastic comments, stalking of minor celebrities, and over-all geeking out. There will also be shopping, touristy fun, fluffy Hilton robes, cocktails, and attempted sophistication. Cause that's just how we roll.

So, as the saying goes, if I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through the window.

Music: Pour misguided fool - Starsailor
Mood: Tired

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