Most people have certain rules they live their lives by, whether consciously or not. My first rule is "don't get your hopes up." Ever, for anything. This may sound bleak but it works much better than having to cope with aching disappointment after the fact. If I ever seem less than enthusiastic about something, that's because I am. I'd rather go into something not expecting anything, and be pleasantly surprised, than the alternative.
On a completely unrelated topic, I've just this minute sent off my first assessment for critical writing and I am nervous as all hell. See, it is supposed to be "approx 1500-1800 words of a work in progress" and I submitted something like 1,700. The thing is though, I took "work in progress" to mean WIP very literally and what I submitted is actually part of an essay that will probably clock in just under 3,000 words. Now I'm not sure if that was a valid interpretation of the assignment and just...aaaaaaah! FLAIL. Fuck. But work is work, right? Right?? I mean, come on....
I am now going to drag my miserable self off to R's place for the evening. I'm not the cheeriest person to be around which makes me feel guilty since I have no real reason not to be a cheery person, but that is the joy of being depressive - I don't need a reason to be miserable. Fun fun fun.
I'm also worried I may have caused a scene at work. I've been feeling progressively more and more stressed/annoyed as it seems like I'm the only person doing any paperwork. I'm constantly picking up the other receptionist's mistakes and fixing them, and generally cleaning up after her when she does deign to do any of the admin work, and yet if I so much as make a minuscule mistake, she always points it out with giant neon signs. Today, enough was enough, and I had a word with the practice manager. I don't mind the extra work, it keeps me busy, but I'm tired of getting lectured for things and letting her get off scot free. So yeah. But I'm sure the manager was tactful, she usually is. Blah. Drama tires me out.
Anyway - get changed, feed the dog, pop a pill, leave. And go.
Music: Super 14