Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Derrida? I don't know, I just googled it.

'No-one is less able to sustain happiness than someone obsessed with feeling only happiness,' he observed.

Uh yeah, I don't need an academic journal to tell me this, I've read 'Dorian Gray.'

I feel absolutely vile this morning. Headache bordering on migraine territory. I don't have time for this! I have a presentation to do tonight! Ugh.

I haven't been able to repeat the miracle routine from Monday either - today because moving makes it feel like my head may explode, and yesterday because, well, in my naive optimism I forgot that it was autumn, thereby almost winter, and thereby too damn cold for me. There is no way I'm going to forsake my warm bed any earlier than I absolutely, positively have to.

On that note, I was so cold in class/coming home last night, it defies eloquent description. I was expecting it so I was wearing three layers, but still I ended up sitting on the train wracked with shivers. I hate that I get this way! I find it worse this time of year because it's not a consistent cold, there are sporadic warm patches, which makes it too hot for a coat. The minute the sun goes down though, I turn into a popsicle - three layers be damned.

Anyway, whining aside. Class last night wasn't too bad actually - everyone seems to have settled in now, which makes everything a bit nicer. We were supposed to workshop our essays, or talk about them, so I opted for being vague with the latter option. As I never plan my essays, Martin somewhat perplexed me when he suggested I needed a counterpoint to my main argument. I didn't think you needed one of those in a critical piece - after all, aren't you just putting forth your own opinion? I thought that was sort of automatically one-side. But alright, if I must, I'll make something up. I have a very rambly 1,200 of 2,000 words at the moment, and despite some brief panic yesterday when I saw a notice claiming 15 April as the due date, it's actually due next Friday. I'd like to get it done before the weekend, but if it doesn't happen, that's fine too. I'd rather focus on my proposal anyway, since that's due on Monday.

Ah academics, why do I keep sacrificing myself to you? I catch myself thinking about what I'd like to do for my PhD all the time and then I sort of jerk away mentally berating myself, 'No! No, no, what are you doing? I can't keep doing this!' At this rate I am going to end up as an academic, the horror. I'd be the worst academic ever haha.

Music: Okay I believe you... - Brand New
Mood: Sickly

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