Drop it like it's hot

Oh my god.

I'm contemplating shooting myself in the foot just to distract myself from the utter chaos and madness my neighbourhood has descended into. My neighbour is playing some atrocious hiphop and r'n'b at an eardrum-shattering volume - my windows are rattling. What I can see from my peeking, it appears to be a house party. Now why you need to play music loudly enough for the whole block to hear you when the people are only in your backyard is beyond me. He even has a loud speaker, so he is constantly telling the "ladies" to "get on the floor". It wouldn't be so bad if he was playing half way decent music, but I mean come on, "drop it like it's hot"? How old is that? And it was never good, even when it was in, it was terrible (it's the clicking noises, can't stand it). I'm not wholly anti-r'n'b, I just prefer it at a stupidly catchy level, or at one I can ignore without it threatening to tear a hole in my sanity. This repetitive stuff he's playing is just...blah. At least play 'Low' or 'Let it rock' or something that doesn't completely make my ears bleed. Hell, I'd settle for T.I...or Chris Brown! I wonder if he's taking requests...oh god no, now he's playing Chingy. I really want to shoot myself now.

Oh wait, small mercies! Skipped to 'Let it Rock' now...and it's not too loud so I only hear the good bit, not Lil Wayne's deranged rapping which appears just to be throwing nonsensical words out there and completely ruins the song. Ignoring the "rapping", I really do like this though...another one of those "I should know better" moments.

How lame am I? Twenty one years old on a Saturday night and I'm complaining about my neighbours music being too loud. Go me.

I spent the evening in the company of people I have nothing in common with making forced, polite chit chat, and feeling awkward. I'm sorry if I'm not in the mood for your assortment of sleazy anthems and gangster rap. Really, it was so awkward. Words cannot express. It's this weird clash of superiority complexes where everyone thinks they're better than everyone else. We got out of there after a respectable time had passed. I felt we did our duty - stayed two hours, spent time with the birthday girl, and we brought a present. What more could they possibly want from us? I think it's generally considered that we're bitchy to leave like that, but as the classic line goes, 'Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.'

High school was four years ago. Let's leave it there. I didn't like talking to these people then, why would it suddenly be any better? At least I felt good though. I wore the Panic dress.

Huh. Perhaps I should fight fire with fire here? See who gives up first...what shall work best, AC/DC? Linkin Park? Something loud. Oh, what about Metallica? *eyes cd collection speculatively*

Oh no. Kanye. It's enough to make you weep. I can't sit here anymore. I'm going to go watch 'The girl in the fireplace' and hopefully they'll have shut up by the time I'm done.

Someone please save me from the wee turtles!

Music: Is this Busta Rhymes?? Oh come on, who takes him seriously anymore?
Mood: Annoyed

The world keeps turning

Currently at work trying not to sit on the edge of the seat. Despite intense and frequent sunscreen application, as is often the case, one spot was neglected and now the back of my thighs are less than comfortable. It isn't as bad as it could be, merely a bit red and sensitive to touch, so I'm trying to avoid it wherever I can. On the other hand, the rest of me didn't burn at all. This is probably the most sun I've seen in years. My back has gone a shade of light dusty brown I've forgotten I'm capable of. Think that'll be the end of it now, unless the heat keeps up.

It was definitely one of our smarter decisions to camp out at the beach yesterday - it wasn't nearly as hot at the water as it was everywhere else. There was a good (if sometimes annoying) breeze, and for the first hour we merely floated along in the water so we were set for the rest of the day - 2 till 5.30. We were being quite juvenile at times though, but hey, what can you do? By we, I mean Roze and I...suspect we were driving Em a bit mad for a bit there. Let is also be said innuendo ran rampant. It's shocking really. Anyway, pizza at Roze's and she wouldn't let us leave! It was mad!

Tonight we're off to a 21st. I have no idea what to wear. It's billed as a cocktail party but its at her house, so I have no idea how formal we're going. At the moment my options are the polka dot dress, which I suspect might be a little too informal, or the Panic dress (aka the hooker dress to my family). Seeing as this is also going to be a high school reunion of sorts (a lot of ex class mates are invited), I don't know what would be appropriate. Bah. I'll try them both on and decide.

I'm really not in the mood to go. It's too hot out at her place for one thing. A quiet evening at home wouldn't be a bad thing, but I guess I don't have much of a choice.

Sigh.

I really don't like working Saturdays.

Music: Traffic
Mood: m'tired

We all want to party when the funeral ends

Sometimes I am genuinely surprised by the stupidity of some people. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes...eh. I don't think about these things, it's just natural instinct for me to do it. Then other people come out epically struggling and I'm like "did you do this?" and they blink owlishly back at me, "oooooooh!" Yeah. Oh. I thought it was obvious. I don't know if it's stupidity really, or just being uninformed. Like I am with maths *shrugs* Maybe I'm just weird.

Anyway, in a case of let your fandom run wild and free, I got up early this morning so I could be ready to run out the door for work after watching the Torchwood season 3 trailer. It was released online simultaneously in the US and UK to correspond with the New York Comic Con. So there I was, 8 o'clock in the morning, car keys in hand, sitting in front of my laptop, waiting. Sometimes during moments like these I often question my grip on reality (but at least it was a respectable time - it wasn't getting up at 3am to stand in a line, so on the seismograph of my fandoms, this barely registers as a tremor). I am very grateful to whoever set up the BBC America website cause it's not region locked (unlike the BBC site, blah). So I was completely capable to watch it when it went live. It's always fun to think you are watching, or partaking in something at the same time as hundreds of other people...like lining up for the latest Harry Potter book, or going to a film release at some obscene time. There is some weird thrill in it. Although WHY I do this to myself, I don't know. I don't have the patience for this. I mean hell, it took every inch of self control I had not to skip forward and read the last few pages with last two HP books. My nerves are shot. I've seen the trailer, now my head wants to explode cause I simply cannot stand not knowing. Emotions oscillate wildly between glee and angst. And it doesn't help that I don't know when I will actually see the new season. Damn it. It is sort of sad however that one of the most intriguing things to me from the trailer is whether Jack's actually wearing "normal" clothes. (Also, is Ianto holding the hockey stick? Hahaha, god it's all relative in this crazy show).

I watched that little section (which lasts maybe two seconds) at least three times trying to figure out if it was actually Jack or not (still don't really know), before realising that I should really be going to work. "Sorry I'm late Doctor, it was a Torchwood related emergency."

Not that they are unfamiliar with my fandoms at work. I have taken time off to do stupid things for My Chem, TAI, and Panic (the latter is particularly memorable because it involved a lot of messaging and I was wearing two sets of clothing). I've been late to work because I had to buy tickets for one gig or another, and there's also that time I got up obscenely early to get 'Breaking Dawn' from the city Kino at 6am and was thus brain dead. Not to mention the fact that I hardly stray far from Jasper. If I accidentally leave him at work, I'm always back within the hour to pick him up. He makes it much easier to keep up to date while also keeping everything nice and neat.

I do all this because real life is hardly ever very exciting, and I have to make my own entertainment.

Case in point, at work right now and there's nothing to do. The other girl has already done all the cleaning, I've done all the accounts, and so now here I am trying to urge time to speed up with the power of thought alone. Needless to say really, I'm failing miserably.

Ugh. All I can do is sit here trying to force this angsty glee into a ball and stuff it somewhere in the back of my mind. I feel like I'm always anticipating something, I'm never free of it. I won't be surprised if I die prematurely of heart failure.

Off to the beach in little over two hours! That's something at least. It's going to be 39 apparantly, so I might spontenously combust. See how we go. Definitely going to be in the water though *grins* No idea in what state I'll eventually crawl home, or at what time even. Fun and games.

-- Edited 10:56pm

Music: The struggling rattle of the aircon
Mood: Bored, hot, and all with a nice helping of nervous energy

After poisoning him with words

I love the 'Desolation Row' video My Chem did (they covered the song for the epic awesomeness of The Watchmen movie). It is just so unbearably old-school, it makes my heart ache. I mean, come on, is that red eye-shadow I can spy on Gerard? That takes me back. I realise its all part of the concept, but it just recalls those mad, crazy, punk kid days of old. I loved the Black Parade, but this just reminds me of the madness that was the beginning. If I could, I'd hug it.

Anyway.

Yesterday was complete and utter mayhem. It all started because it was overcast when I picked Em up. We pretty much wrote off Palm Beach then and there, besides the Weather Channel said it was raining (I suspect it's a dirty, rotten liar, but whatever.) So we spent the morning lying about Roze's place, catching up, trading gossip, the usual. Hunger eventually forced us off to Eastgardens in search of all-day breakfast. We seem to have a penchant for all-day breakfasts. Some shopping was had, and there was harrassment of General Pants staff (the guy later called us twice while we were at the beach, much to everyone's amusement I'm sure. Well, I think he was greatly amused by our insanity. I, for one, thought his facial expressions when dealing with Roze was priceless). We headed to the beach after this, well bay really more than the beach.



It was so lovely. We entertained young children, diners in a nearby restuarant, and greatly perplexed the few other people who had been enjoying their peace and quiet prior to our arrival. We took a hell of a lot of random photos, made sand constructions, danced, indulged in stunt fighting, chased each other about, and in general acted like tools. It was fun. Eventually we were completely exhausted by all this sun and madness, so we scooted up under Em's tiny rain umbrella and tried not to die of heat stroke. This amused some people at the beach greatly, one lady even asked us if we weren't too crowded under there. It just reminded me of school and how we used to spend our lunch times in the exact same way. Anyway, we were lamenting not really being prepared for the beach as the water looked very inviting and to make up for it we have resolved to head back there tomorrow, beach gear in tow. Huzzah. I'll do a better job with the sunscreen this time. While I didn't get badly burnt yesterday, it was still faintly red and we have a cocktail 21st party to go to on Satuday, I'd rather not be medium to well-done.

After this we took off for Moore Park for milkshakes, markets and movies. Air conditioning! Joy! We saw Slumdog Millionaire, which is every bit as good as they tell you even though it completely depressed me. I feel that's why they added the song in the end, just to make it seem a bit easier to bear. I had my *woe face* on for most of it while threatening Roze with my water bottle to try and get her to tell me what happens - futile attempts as it were. I have to say though, while I appreciate the symmetry and the story arc, I feel the last question was far too easy to be the final question on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'

We headed back to Roze's place as night settled in and sprawled out on the couch watching reality tv. We ventured outside again only to get dinner and eventually Em and I had to head home around 10. So we did literally spend the entire day together, even if we didn't end up taking that long overdue road trip. One day we will actually get there.

The sun and beach always makes me lazy so I slept like a log. It was absolute bliss. I only managed to drag myself out of bed sometime before twelve, only to upload some photographic evidence of our stupidity and nearly being late for work. Really lazy and peaceful.

Right now I'm writing something Amped based and feeling good...it's not really a flash since I haven't used a prompt. Just something I felt like writing while at work.

Right now though, chinese food beckons!

P.S. I just caught the start of the US version of Life on Mars. Sheesh. I understand why they redid it now, they had to make it more obvious *shakes head* The acting has got nothing on the first one. It reminds me of when my cousins and I used to reenact things. Final thought - John Simm kicks ass. C'est tout.

Music: Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance
Mood: Loved

All your diction dripping with disdain

Current playlist of choice :

• I still remember : Bloc Party
• Dashboard : Modest Mouse
• Wolf like me : TV on the Radio
• Brainstorm : Arctic Monkeys
• A-Punk : Vampire Weekend
• You are the one : Shiny Toy Guns
• Middle of nowhere : Hot Hot Heat
• Blue light : Bloc Party
• Rebellion (Lies) : Arcade Fire
• Signal Fire : Snow Patrol
• Always where I need to be : The Kooks
• I don't believe you : The Magnetic Fields
• It's my own cheating heart that makes me cry : Glasvegas
• Look at me (when I rock wichoo) : Black Kids
• Rewind : Paolo Nutini
• Gorecki : Lamb
• Lazy Eye : Shiny Toy Guns
• Gold Lion : Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Lover I don't have to love : Bright Eyes
• Hunting for Witches : Bloc Party
• Keep the car running : Arcade Fire
• Gold Skans : The Klaxons
• Flourescent Adolescent : Arctic Monkeys
• Phantom Limb : The Shins
• You only live once : The Strokes

Am amusing myself by downloading indie music and making cds...someone has to do it, I take responsibility for the fate of our musical souls. Still not writing. Still not good.

I am also clearly rebelling and not watching any television. Which is all sorts of futile since I'm still attempting to record everything at once. Technological implosion imminent. Everyone was late getting home tonight and I had actually made dinner and everything. Huffs.

**

Random quiz time :

Your result for The Greek Mythology Personality Test...

Orpheus

33% Extroversion, 80% Intuition, 72% Emotiveness, 71% Perceptiveness

You are an artist, an aesthete, a sensitive, and someone who has never really let go of that childlike innocence. To you, all of life has a sense of wonder in it, and the story of Orpheus was written about someone just like you.

When the Argo passed the island of the Sirens, Orpheus played a song more beautiful than the Sirens to prevent the crew from becoming enticed. When his wife died, he ventured into the underworld to charm Hades but, in his naivete, he looked back becoming trapped there.

You can capture your unique world view and relate it to others with the skill of a master storyteller. Your sensitivity and creativity make you a treasure to the human race, but your thin-skinned nature and innocence can cause you a lot of disenchantment and pain. What's doubly unfortunate is that, if you try to lose those traits, you never will, and everyone will be able to tell that you're putting up an artificial shell to prevent yourself from being hurt.

Famous people like you: Hemingway, Shakespeare, Mr. Rogers, Melville, Nick Tosches

Stay clear of: Icarus, Hermes, Atlas

[Take The Greek Mythology Personality Test at HelloQuizzy]

Music: Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend
Mood: I could go for some Jack hugs too right now

It never feels out of place

Holy hell, I don’t go online for one night and I have 34 emails, and 18 items in my reader. And I’m positively anti-social. How do other people manage?

I spent my night comatose on the couch watching Life on Mars which is every bit as good as they tell you it is. It’s depressing but funny, and overall really well done. There's also the added bonus of John Simm in a suit for the first episode. Glee. Yes, I have issues.

Oh wait. Wrong series. *evil smirk*
[For the record, these aren't mine, they're from here and here. I’m far too impatient to make my own graphics.]

Meanwhile, we were so busy at work today I barely had time to breathe. Screaming children, nauseous children, people with headaches and borderline heat stroke. Every person grumpier than the last. It’s too much, I tells ya. I only got out of there at twenty to one. Funny moment though. I had a Frenchman on the phone at one point and he actually said “oo la la” when I told him we were booked out, I nearly died from the cliché cuteness of it all.

Hm. I get book of the day updates from google and let me tell you, they’re completely insane. Yesterday it was something to do with soil and geology, today it’s “Josephus, the Bible, and History.” I though they were going to give me proper books, like NY Times best seller list books or new releases or something. Fail, google.

But anyway. Continuing my trend of loving things that are way out of my price range, see these boots.

Drool. I think may have to go try them on...they look amazing.

I have a major television scheduling conflict of interest I must somehow sort out for tonight. Tuesdays are the only night I really watch TV but ratings are back on, so NCIS is conflicting with my fandom indulgence. Logic says go with NCIS, but my heart says vegetate and watch things you've already seen a thousand times. Oh speaking of, Torchwood season 2 on UKTV tonight, 9.30, watch it. It has awkward Jack, unimpressed Ianto, and the rise of the awesomeness that is John Hart – “the odd kill, who does it hurt?” Also, it has the added sadistic thrill of injured Owen and almost-dead Gwen. Oh, oh, and it has the automotive love of my life in it. I do so lust after those Crossfires.

That’s my plug for the day. I do however also recommend 'The Big Bang Theory' because it's hilarious and (sadly) reminds me of some of my conversations.

Oscar Wilde once said that “we live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”

Huh. That is so true. When having an argument with mum and the IT guys about camping (because Mac went camping with a bunch of his friends and their girlfriends in the middle of nowhere, and it all sounded suspiciously “wilderness survival" to me so I was saying the only way he’d ever get me out there was to dump my cold, dead body, thanks.) I was pointing out that I don’t have anything against nature or peace and quiet, in fact I am all for that, but I just don’t see why I should give up my basic necessities for it. Surely these things don’t have to be mutually exclusive. They pointed out that mobile phones and laptops aren’t basic necessities, but excuse me, what century is this? Besides, I think it’s quite disrespectful to have that attitude. If our ancestors went through the trouble to invent these things, the least we can do is show our respect by using them. It’s the polite thing to do. *nods vehemently*

Sigh.

All everyone seems to be doing is blogging about snow. I’m having serious snow envy! Send some to us if you don’t want it, we could do with a break.

I have solemnly resolved not to launch into an epic rant about sites that restrict viewing to the country of origin...solemnly resolved….grrr. Instead I’m going to go charge my GPS…off on a road trip to Palm Beach tomorrow.

Music: Gives you hell -The All American Rejects
Mood: Hot, blah.

Goodbye my hopeless dreams

I have this song stuck in my head [Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy] and I have decided I want it in the final episode of Amped season 1. For the whole Eric/Kill debacle. I realise this probably makes no sense, but I just wanted to write it down before I forgot.

I've done a 180 back to going to London again instead of LA. For one thing, I have more time to save. And I should theoretically actually have enough to do it. Theoretically being the key word here. This latest change of mind occured mostly because its snowing like mad there atm. Snowing! And even though snow is just glorified rain, I still have an innocent fascination and glee for it that comes from minimal exposure. Its a novelty and it makes London seem like the more magical option. Not that it'll be snowing when I go, but that's not really the point. I can also justify this whole madness as a legitimate trip for the benefit of my future (career). It could be like a screenwriting weekend! We could do work, and discuss, and listen to professionals etc etc. Aren't I clever...don't answer that.

Anyway, sticking to this nonsense with my wanderlust, I've been thinking about my end of year trip. Don't think I'll do the whole prolonged trip that was originally planned. Currently considering New York then Chicago (for christmas...despite it's Planet Hoth qualities). Or if I get a round trip ticket perhaps San Fran - Chicago - New York - London - home?

Then the next year, Canada. The year after...well who knows. Perhaps another Europe tour, Austria and Germany. Maybe with a mid-year break to Japan thrown in somewhere.

I only get discount travel till I'm 26. I figure I should make the most of it, and especially before I start a proper job...whatever that may be.

I'm very weird you know. Most people feel more settled once they've been away. Me? I just keep wanting more. I guess essentially I'm just greedy.

In case all this rambling isn't clear, work is exceedingly boring. Even though we are really busy, I don't have much to do other than come up with half-baked schemes and nurse this headache. I blame the heat quite frankly, and airconditioing, it's making me nauseous. So yes, it's still hot as hell with no end in sight, and I don't understand why there are this many sick people here. Everyone is extra grumpy too. All I want to do is rest my head on my desk here, it's so nice and cool...

Music: A symphony of coughing and sniffing (in four parts)
Mood: Grumpy

Two out of three ain't bad

This song has always struck me as a bit sad - 'I want you, I need you, there ain't no way I'm ever going to love you.' Always nice to know.

Currently at hairdressers. Only half concious really. Headache of doom, was hoping for nice head massage, will see I guess. There is a new apprentice here, sigh. There's always something happening. It doesn't help that I keep wanting to say stupid things like "yes, my young apprentice" in a really bad DavrosPalpatine voice.

Of course why I'm blogging is beyond me. After all, in the intervening 9 hours since my last blog, I was sleeping for most of them and thus have nothing really to contribute to society as a whole. That said, I clearly jinxed Federer with my rushing.

There appears to be no one online. And I don't want to read the book I brought along. I can barely keep my eyes open as it is. Ugh. Really don't want to go to work after this.

Oh and since I apparantly can't reply to comments with Jasper - Abs! Sleepy Ianto! Then again, when isn't Ianto cute? I'm particularly fond of bitchy Ianto too...don't know if you've seen that yet, so here

No, because the phones aren't working!

Can't resist :)

Music: I'm yours - Jason Mraz
Mood: Sleepy, lazy, something like that

These tennis finals always go for too long

What is up must come down. I always forget about the harsh truth of that. I'm only slightly resembling a deflated balloon right now (yeah, right).

I have to be up early tomorrow to make my hair appointment. I'm torn between the annoyance of getting up and the joy of having nice hair. Hm.

Music: The Melbourne Cup men's final - which Federer should just hurry up and win now kthanks
Mood: Sleepy

Better shut your mouth and hold your breath

From today's paper : “Young Australians are using our national day and the flag of our country as a rallying point for racist, regressive and drunken ranting.” It’s so disgustingly true. I cannot believe that in today’s day and age young people could display such narrow-minded, bigoted behaviour. It’s part of the reason I find it really hard to be patriotic…as Lizzie said “I would be more patriotic if patriotism was not a synonym for bogan in this country.”

Something else that annoys me, because I am clearly an obsessive fucking nutter, is when people deny ever loving something. I have had many, many obsessions which have fizzled out or merely fallen dormant as others have come along, but I will never deny having been obsessed with something in the first place. Westlife. See? Not denying it. I was nine. It made perfect sense. Oh, and take My Chemical Romance for example, while the boys still (and always will) own a piece of my soul, it’s not nearly the same level as it used to be, it’s settled into a complacency and I just don’t channel that same vibe anymore. I won’t deny that I was mad about it before though. I’ve been getting this a lot with the Twilight books atm, people who were trying to get me into it originally are now scoffing and saying they didn’t even really like it that much. That’s not what you were saying two years ago when you were almost beating me over the head with it and then swooning because it was oh so wonderful, and romantic, and isn’t it just the most divine little vampire you ever did see? The hype is mad now yes, but don’t turn around and act like you never thought it was that great, ‘cause there was a time when you did. I know because you told me so...repeatedly. Although I am of the school of obligated obsession, where I feel I owe it to my obsessions to actually do certain things, even if I may not be obsessing over it anymore…I always maintain some kernel of (perhaps misplaced) loyalty.

Facebook status’ aside, what’s new? Nothing? Nothing. Planning a trip to Melbourne for the end of March since all the signposts of sanity point firmly away from mad cross-continental weekend dashes. Oh, maybe New Zealand? Will see.

Two nights have been spent well past 2am. I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

Reached conclusion I was wrong about the entire universe having Twitter, not one single person I know (cept fellow bloggers) have it. Further proof that I occupy a different universe entirely from my peers. As I was saying to mum yesterday while paging through a Cosmo in line at the supermarket while she tried to convince me not to buy it (for the record, I didn’t), I need to read magazines like this so I know what the normal people are doing. I live in a bubble.

We were being right tools in the supermarkets actually, come to think of it. She kept saying we needed to buy rump steak, and I kept saying “Why do we need to buy rum? Is the rum gone? Why is the rum always gone?”…then when they didn’t have any rump, we got porterhouse instead, which then led to me nattering on about not wanting port. We may also have stood in the biscuit aisle arguing over the merits of the crime scene cookie. We also tend to push and shove each other quite a lot. I also read aloud from the aforementioned Cosmo from 'conversations every daughter should have with her mother' or something like that except I was answering all the questions for her anyway, since I knew them all. Let it just be said we earn more than a few weird looks.

Again I’d like to point out people really shouldn’t be so surprised that I turned out the way I did.

It is February. Shit. I am starting Chapter 4 of Soliloquy now.

I have another pseudo-rant but I figure I’ll just bottle that one up for now.

Further updates as events [aka boredom and restlessness] warrant.

Music: My Skin - Natalie Merchant
Mood: Lethargic