I’m looking up accommodation at the Kruger National Park for reasons I’ll explain later, and these are some of the stupid things that have just left my mouth –
‘I don’t think I’ve been to this one *squints at pic* Oh wait, I think this is where I played in the mud.’ (All class, me.)
‘Lower Sabie used to be so much nicer before it burnt down.’
‘I can’t stay here anyway, it’s the source of my bee trauma.’
‘I don’t understand why the morning walks are more expensive than the morning drives when the risk of getting eaten is exponentially higher.’
Anyway, if you’re not doing anything between November and December and you want to try a holiday with a difference, how about going on a safari adventure? It’s not as expensive as you’d think, with the dollar doing so well and the Rand being its normal shit self, and if we split it between two (or more), it should be fine. We could camp! That’s even cheaper. And camping is awesome in the KNP. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a lion roar and woken up convinced it was snuffling at your tent flap. Trust me.
Oh, come on. Someone come with me. We can go to Olifants for the best pie, or have ice cream at the river in Skukuza. We can have breakfast in Tshokwane while desperately trying to protect our toast from baboons. We can watch the little weaver birds flitting about and stalk owls through the camp at night. It will be hot, but not more unbearable than a hot Sydney day, and you will have to take malaria pills, but I promise you, it is worth it. It is worth every single thing. If Africa has only one good thing going for it, this is it.
And now that I’ve made myself so nostalgic I feel physically ill, I’ll get back to doing some actual work.
Music: Baby, come on - +44