Frustration

You know what’s hilarious? My mum always tells me off for downloading music, saying that I will get a virus, and yet in all the years I’ve downloaded music, I never once got a virus from that – I trust the people supplying said music after all. Yet when I do fucking software updates, the things come waltzing in like alcoholics to an open bar. I had a particularly lovely spyware come in with Java this morning (useless Java, why is it on here anyway?? Dammit!) and it took aaaaages to clean it up. I’m not convinced it’s all gone either. I might have to do some registry changes if all else fails – I hate doing those. But yes, the irony. This isn’t the first time it’s happened either. Windows update wrecked my last laptop – granted that wasn’t a virus but it just would not work properly after I ran the update. Rawr.

While waiting for my antivirus (and where the hell was this when I needed it anyway? Real time protection my ass) to run a full scan I watched Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Interesting film, made me wonder about the nature of art. Like if someone inspires you and directs you saying take a photo of this or try painting like that, does that make it less your art because it’s their genius? You become a conductor for their idea almost. Sure, you’re still the one doing the work, but would the work have any power without that insight and following on that, is your work really still yours?

I don’t know. I know I’m not going to settle until I find what I’m looking for. Something…else. I want something different, something more…some sort of counterintuitive love.

Music: You wouldn't like me - Tegan and Sara
Mood: Frustrated