We together make a limb

I don’t know when UTS got some many hipsters – I guess the undergrads are really rolling it out this year.

Anyway. Greetings! I have survived another week of tertiary education. I'm setting quite a precedent. Good news is we’ve gotten an extension on our second editing assignment so it’s now only due after the break, yay! Well, I still have to do it before anyway, since I won’t be here, but I don’t have to worry about handing it in – skipping class that week as we’re flying out to shaky Christchurch in the morn. Everybody wins.

All’s quiet on this front, really. Some of my classmates still seem incapable of understanding the difference between en dashes and em dashes, leading to my generally just wanting to stab myself in the eye with my pen, but other than that it’s plodding along uneventfully. My writing project is in a bit of shambles after I wrote the most shocking first chapter. I read it over before going for my meeting and was just horrified. So I’ve decided to chuck it out and start all over again – going back to my beloved first person. I think I’m way better at writing in first than third. I only try out third because I feel like I have to give it a shot. Like it’s somehow more…well literary, I guess. But fuck it, I’m tired of working so hard for my moments of glory. Writing in first takes me half as long as third does. I’m already 2,000 words into my second take and I started it at 10pm last night *shakes head*

Not that first doesn’t have its limitations – that’s why I flirt with third in the first place. It’s easier to do multiple characters in third and give a better overarching view of a story, whereas first obviously narrows you to one person. You could do alternating chapters of first, I know, but I’m not willing to try that on with five separate characters. Coming up with five distinct internal voices will liquefy my brain. So yes, I’m sacrificing good bits of story by limiting it, but I think I’m making my characters work more for me. Maybe. I don’t know. See how it goes, I guess.

Um. What else? Oh, had a lovely evening catching up with R after uni on Wednesday. Topics of conversation included Supernatural, Jared Leto, books, the trip, and the trip and Supernatural as a combined entity, haha. Sample of the quality conversation – ‘Why am I Sam? It’s because I’m emo, isn’t it?’

It was so overdue, it felt like eons since I’d last seen R. And M, who I am seeing tomorrow morning. Yay, socialness! But yes, there was pizza, what I call ‘the vampire show’ and brainstorming of grand ideas for our gap year adventuring. This has morphed slightly from ‘move to the UK, get jobs and go from there’ to ‘let’s go EVERYWHERE!!!1!’ Motto: it’s time to get your Kerouac on, you’re only young once.

Although Kerouac is probably too hipster for us

But you know, there’s plenty of time to be responsible later. And R and I don’t exactly have the most conventional aims in life. A year of travelling and writing (and starving) seems kinda perfect. Well, if it can be wrangled. So, large scale logistical planning operation is go. Maps, pins, books, brochures. Let’s rock and roll. Eight months and counting.

Pretty busy weekend lined up so not sure I’ll manage a top 10 today. I’ve got writers’ group tonight, breakfast with the girls tomorrow, dinner with mum’s work friends, and then mum’s birthday on Sunday – we’re going horse riding. Mum’s trying to decide if she wants to come on the Lord of the Rings ride with me in NZ so I figured a trot around the park would ease her into it.

Oh and somewhere in there, I will finish season 1 of Brothers & Sisters and sneak in a few more SPN eps. It’s been like 5 days, I’m having serious Cas withdrawals.

“This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.”

Music: Red right ankle - The Decemberists

Bored now

I cut my teeth on the stone of a teenage romance
I was the salt of the earth, I was hard, and the last of the independents
And the breath from my chest I was blowing kerosene
My lips and fingertips were stone, I wore my heart on my jeans
I sang the blues like the dogs left too long in the street
I still sing the blues with the dogs

And I got half a mind to let it all burn up in this fire
That's been burning through my veins since I first learned to cry
I'd watch this whole night come down and never miss her again
I never felt right and never fit in
Walking in my own skin

Now I got scars like the number of stars, my mind's full of vipers
I got the dust of the desert in my bones, coming through the amplifiers
Between the minor chord fall and the fourth and the fifth
It's a broken Hallelujah and a pain in my fist
I wash my hands like the man with the blood on his teeth
Over and over without relief

And I got nothing for you darling but a story to tell
About the rain on the pavement and the sound as it fell
I'd watch this whole night come down and never miss her again
I never felt right and never fit in

Walking in my old man shoes, with my scientist heart
I got a fever and a beaker and a shot in the dark
I need a Cadillac ride, I need a soft summer night
Say a prayer for my soul, Señorita

Because I've been dying out here in the cold and the snow
I've got a picture of you mama, to remind me of home
On the hood of a Dodge on a Saturday night
Say a prayer for my soul, Señorita

Music: Wherefore art thou Elvis - The Gaslight Anthem

A turning of the season

My head is a strange, strange place. Last night I had a dream R and I were tramping around Europe and we ran into Mat and Kill Hannah. They gave us a ride to Helsinki, where we ended up drinking absinthe in a very dark bar with Ville Valo. For some reason Ville needed someone to drive his Aston Martin (I don’t know) to his wife in Germany (I really don’t know, I don’t even know if he has a wife), so of course we volunteered. R recorded the entire journey and put it up on Facebook (dreaming about social media, lame). When we got there, Kill Hannah and HIM were playing a festival (why did we have to drive the car then?) and we got passes as thanks. 30 Seconds To Mars were also playing this festival and, in the end, we somehow ended up getting a tour of Portugal from Shannon and Jared.

So, according to my dreams, touring bands are the equivalent of the Doctor – just picking up random strays and taking them all over the place.

Would be pretty epic though, you'd save a lot on travel.

Anyway, 16 days till holiday! So much to do before then, but still. Yay! And I’ve got about 12 episodes of SPN season 5 left, so I should be able to finish it before I go and then angst over S6 – it only finishes airing in the US in May (R! Must watch S1 and 2 before that, yes? Yes. There’s the long weekend in June that I think has season 6 marathon written all over it.)

On the topic, I love this. The third frame - Cas' face! And Dean's all 'Note to self: Do not punch.'


Taken from here

 Oh Castiel, I've mentioned that I love you, right?

Music: Don't carry it all - The Decemberists

A wreath of trillium and ivy

His own destiny, too, was opening out before him, in unmeasured vistas of sun and smoke. He would not look back wherever it should take him; his heart accepted it with all its freight, the bright and the dark.

- Fire from Heaven, Mary Renault, p. 406

Music: Don't carry it all - The Decemberists

Dreamers of dreams

Ugh, when am I going to learn to stop drinking vodka? It leaves the most god-awful aftertaste *dulls taste buds with copious amounts of caffeine* Gross. It's so hard when it is in my favourite cocktail though. What is a girl to do?

Anyway. Just realised that four weeks of uni have already passed. That means I only have ten to go. TEN. That's it. Then it is done. Well, for now. I found myself saying just the other day that 'I'm really looking forward to starting my PhD.' I am so insane. What is wrong with me? Actually, I need to talk to my supervisor about that whole PhD thing. Need to figure out how exactly that all works.

Oooh I also had a new idea for a novel - it involves time travel and all sorts of madness. It would require so much research, I can't even begin to explain it. But as there are three other books in the queue already, this one will just have to wait I suppose. Some days I just think it's really unfair that I can't just hook my brain up to a computer and download it all.

Which is of course why I am blogging. I'm supposed to finish two chapters today so I can send it off prior to meeting with my supervisor on Wednesday. But alas, it's raining and I'm sleepy, and therefore every instinct is saying 'Bed. Now. Thanks.' Maybe I just don't have the discipline to actually be a writer.

Um. I had something else I wanted to say. Oh yes, I want to go used book shopping! Not next weekend, I'm pretty much flat out, but Saturday after. If anyone wants to tag along shambling about Newtown. Weekend after that I'll be in NZ. Excitement. First proper holiday in aaaages. Of course I have to finish work on four issues before then, not to mention two assignments, but once I get on that plane I have resolved not to even think about work or uni - and that is why I've decided not to do Script Frenzy this year either, just so by the by.

Right. I have wasted enough time. The sooner I get these chapters done, the sooner I can do other things. Important things. Like watch Supernatural.

Music: Rain and the slosh of the dishwasher

Top 10: Supernatural Quotes

From season 4, as that’s the one I’ve recently watched properly in one go. I’m about five eps into season 5 and I can already tell I’m going to love it with an unholy passion. Problem is I’m already too involved with this show – they’re going to kill characters, they’re going to end it, and I am going to be forlorn. Sigh. Of course I’d get into it when it’s halfway through what is most probably the last season. And I have to wait for that to finish airing before I can watch it – don’t have the patience for this waiting a whole week for new eps thing. Anyway! Season 4. I really enjoyed this a whole lot (obviously). Onwards!

Dean: I’m starving, let’s get breakfast.
Sam: Where? We’re like two hours from anything.
Dean: But I’m hungry now.
- Jump The Shark

Chuck: I am the prophet Chuck!
- The Monster At The End Of This Book (I don’t know why this scene cracks me up as much as it does, but I just think it’s hilarious.)

Castiel: Uriel is the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.
- On The Head of a Pin (Chosen because Dean’s facial expression at that is just too priceless.)

Dean: You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. I mean I worshipped the guy, y'know: I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.
Sam: I'll take that as a compliment.
Dean: You can take it any way you want.
- Jump The Shark (Ugh. These two. My heart breaks.)

Dean: All right, everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay.
Jock on Bus: Aren't you the P.E. teacher?
Dean: Not really. I'm like 21 Jump Street. The bus driver sells pot. Yeah.
- After School Special

Bobby: I think I got everything we need here at the house.
Dean: Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?
Bobby: So you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden?
 - Are you there, God? It’s me Dean Winchester

Dean: That guy was about to Frankenstein me.
Sam: Hey there Hansel!
Dean: Shut up!
- Monster Movie

Dean: I’m sitting in a laundromat reading about myself sitting in a laundromat reading about myself. My head hurts.
- The Monster At The End Of This Book

Sam: How ya feelin'?
Dean: Awesome. It's nice to have my head on the chopping block again, I almost forgot what that feels like. It's friggin delightful.
- Yellow Fever

Wes: Aren't you the guys from the Health Department?
Sam: Yeah. And florists on the side.
Dean: Plus FBI. And on Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors.
Wes: Huh?
- Wishful Thinking (The entire teddy bear thing is just gold.)

Must be said I absolutely adore the way Dean just says ‘Humans, man!’ with such disgust in ‘Family Remains’ as well. I am now constantly doing that when I’m annoyed.

Also, have this cap -

I love how gleeful Sam is while Dean is all D: D: D: Oh, boys *shakes head*

Music: Shut me up - Mindless Self Indulgence

You'll dance to anything

My intern is currently in the office and I don't really have any work for her. It's that awkward lull inbetween getting client info and deadline - nothing has come in and there's no real admin work to be done until the next issue comes out. So here I sit. I've gotten her to do things that are way ahead of schedule, but on my computer so it's left me with very little to do. Also I am tired, and I just want to sit here staring into space instead of feigning productivity and/or enthusiasm. Typing is productive, right?

Anyway, moving on to more important things.

Vices & Virtues, the new Panic! At The Disco album, is out and I finally had a chance to listen to it on the way to work this morning. Side note: remember when you used to buy an album and you'd sit by your stereo listening to it? That's why I like record players - it forces you to do that again, rather than say, listen to the album on itunes while doing a million other things online. People very rarely do that whole totally zoning in to just listen to an album thing anymore. I managed that to some degree with this one (and The King is Dead, the latest The Decemberists album) thanks to being stuck in traffic.

But yes. Simply put, Panic! is back, and it's spectacular. Vices & Virtues has all the poptastic danceability of A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, while keeping some of the experimental sounds and maturity of Pretty.Odd. - just without the LSD aftertaste. As always, this has a real sense of spectacle around it. That's precisely what I love about this band. For some reason, it always has this carnival-circus tone. Maybe it's because Brendon's ringmaster get-up from the 'I write sins not tragedies' video is forever entrenched in my consciousness, I don't know. It's just something so uniquely Panic! (I am stupidly happy to have the exclamation mark back) - an essence of amateur vaudevillian dramatics that's just so infectious.

The album really works for me. Brendon has such a unique voice and it is much more effective in this return to a more dance-friendly sound. Not that the stripped back moments aren't great - 'Always' is lovely example of less sometimes being more - but Panic! just does excess so well that it's hard not to want them to indulge. I think that's testament to their distinct musicality, and Brendon's natural showmanship. Even though I've only listened to it in its entirety once, this album makes me want to see them play live again. I just know they'll rip it up.

It's funny, I've actually been thinking about how this will play out for a while. After the split, and all. In this case, I think Ryan needed Brendon in order to gain the confidence to really explore music and without it,  he would never have gone off to do his own thing. Ryan was without a doubt the writer, something that's immediately apparent with Vices - the lyrics' straightforward imagery and similes is in stark contrast to the tricky wordplay and intertextuality of earlier. But Brendon is the one who has always carried it. He is one of those people who makes music seem absolutely effortless. He has a talent for the stage. I think that's why Panic! continues to work while The Young Vines...well, you can have all the best intentions in the world, but they don't mean much if you can't get them across convincingly. Not that it's a competition, but it is interesting. Well, at least to me.

So, what does this say? Sheer raw musical talent will always prevail? I guess that's not a bad thing - even if the music industry is overloaded with examples quite to the contrary.  Doesn't matter. All I know is I didn't even realise how much I missed Panic! until this morning. Bring on the tour.

Music: Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

Lay your weary head to rest

Assignment due tomorrow. Procrastinating. Apparently, according to the Celtic horoscope, I am an Ash tree -

You are vivacious and impulsive, which makes you extremely attractive to many. Intelligent and demanding, you don't care much for criticism. You have a ton of ambition and talent, and sometimes money rules your heart. You like to play with fate, and you can be very egotistical and restless. Demanding of attention, you need love and a lot of emotional support.


Another page lists me as Elder though -

Elder archetypes among Celtic tree astrology tend to be freedom-loving, and sometimes appear to be a bit wild to the other signs of the zodiac. In younger years you may have lived life in the fast lane, often identified as a “thrill seeker.” At the time of your birth the light of the sun was fast fleeting and so you take the same cue from nature. You are often misjudged as an outsider as you have a tendency to be withdrawn in spite of your extroverted nature. In actuality, you are deeply thoughtful with philosophical bent. You also tend to be very considerate of others and genuinely strive to be helpful. These acts of assistance are sometimes thwarted by your brutal honestly (which you openly share solicited or otherwise). Elder Celtic tree astrology signs fit well with Alder’s and Holly’s.

I guess both sort of apply. There's a bit more on the Ash one that sounds pretty apt.

Sigh. I do not want to do uni work.

Music: Carry on wayward son - Kansas

Drop of a hat

I had a trip to the hairdressers last week and had her strip out the red completely, so it’s more violet than the red-violet it was before. Problem is the red kinda held the colour nicely and now the purple is fading out to a colour I suspect is going to be disgusting. Like grey-brown. Yuck. And I’m only getting it done again when I get back from NZ. Double yuck.

I think in the scheme of hair colours, I’ll stick to the red in future. Purple is awesome, but red is more me, I feel. But really, the fading in both is a bitch. Ah well. Only a couple more to go then I’m properly going au naturale. Can’t afford to worry about fading hair when travelling.

There are so many draft blog posts saved over here, t'is rather nuts. I keep starting things and then get interrupted. And when I get home..well that’s it. I have no will to spend time in front of the computer anymore. I’ve also been avoiding my email for the last two weeks, possibly more. The sheer amount of unread emails is enough to give me an anxiety attack. I try to pretend it’s not there, or that I’ll get it to it tomorrow, or on the weekend…but it never happens. I know I need to just stop putting it off and get in there and sort it out but…ugh. There are things I don’t want to sort out, that’s why I’m avoiding it in the first place. If I don’t know about it, it doesn’t exist! *fingers in ears* La la la!

It’s stupid, I know. I’ll get round to it.

Um. What else? Uni’s going ok. I’ve got an assignment due on Thursday that I naturally haven’t started. Will attempt to get something written tonight. I need 5,000 words done by next Wednesday for my independent project as well. I’m going to try to knock about 10,000 over on the weekend. The aim is to have the entire word count for the project done before Easter, so then I can just re-draft and keep writing. I’ve gone with a re-write of Amped, rather than continuing on with Silver & Silent. Only because I’ve hit a bit of a wall with that and I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with where it’s going – it lacks direction and I’m not sure the structure of it is really doing it any favours. So rather than beat my head against a wall and be miserable for the next 14 weeks, I’ll just write something that I know exactly what I’m doing.

My Thursday class, professional editing, is overall not too torturous. My classmates annoy me but even though I’m not overly fond of the subject matter, it’s not filling me with utter dread. So really, not too shabby for my last semester. I do think it’s going to drag down my GPA, but we’ll see how we go I guess. Not worried about the writing project at all really – I get on really well with my supervisor, having worked with her in undergrad. I was very surprised she remembered my project, she sees so many students, but she seems to think it had genuine promise. So when this is all done, I think I might try to work on that again. Once this one is finished, and Silver & Silent. Gah. Too many.

That’s about the scope of my life at the moment, I think. There have been outings, and movies, and drinking and such, of course. And work, which continues to be hellish. Nothing new there. I’m applying for so many random things – I don’t even care. I just want to get out of here so I can actually write again. Instead of going home brain dead and miserable. Hopefully, I’ll have something new by May. All I need to do now is get through the next three weeks. Can’t wait.

Music: Killer Queen - Queen

What visage are you in now, holy tax accountant?

Dear blogosphere,

I have a confession to make. I am hopelessly obsessed with Supernatural. I know, I know. I said it wasn’t something I could ever get into. But that was almost two years ago, and I was still smarting at other betrayals. People change.

Now, generally speaking, I still consider SPN to be the Hardy Boys to Charmed’s Nancy Drew, but when they’re having so much fun, who even cares? And that really is the best thing about this show – it is just a whole lot of fun. A whole lot of creepy too, but nothing that’s not tempered by the good times. There’s a real sense that it doesn’t take itself too seriously – and not in a detrimental way that strips it of meaning or levels it to kitsch, but just in a really enjoyable along-for-the-ride way. And it’s so old school rock n roll. Brilliant.

But rather than trying to express my new found adoration for this show in words, I’ll just raid youtube instead.


This episode is art. That is all.

'The Monster At The End Of This Book' is also fabulous. Meta-madness. How many people would write a slash reference into their show? I'm thinking not many. Some people knock Eric Kripke and the other producers and writers on this show for paying attention to fans the way they do. I think it’s hilarious. Just that little nod to say we know you’re out there. And it’s nice, you know? Not because I think fans should necessarily have a say in what happens in their favourite shows (or in fact that they have any given right to be acknowledged), but it’s just nice.

The there's Castiel. Sigh. Ignore the whole Luke/Vader thing in this vid, it's the only one I could find of this scene and I just love the head tilt so much. I have come to the conclusion that Misha Collins is an under-appreciated genius. Never would I have thought that a simple head tilt could cause me such glee. Everything about Castiel is perfection. Just love. I am definitely looking forward to much more Cas time. (Also, he has the best character introduction scene possibly ever.)

With Torchwood off having delusions of grandeur, Doctor Who being on its break, and Sherlock being only three measly episodes, it seems American shows have stolen my heart. First Fringe, which I honestly think is one of the best shows around at the moment, and now Supernatural. Go Team Free Will!

I get the feeling somehow that feminists probably don’t like SPN very much *taps lip* Might have to look into that. Anyway, I’m heading into season 5 now. I just can’t seem to stop. I know a lot of people will consider this sacrilege, but I actually like it more now than I like Buffy *flinches* Don’t hurt me! Not that I don’t like Buffy, but just…comparatively speaking. Mind you, Sam is just as annoying as Buffy is in season 3. What is Sam’s major malfunction anyway? Is it so hard to see Dean’s just looking out for him? Fool! Also, these two boys are so emotionally stunted. Also also, I may possibly be just a little teeny bit too emotionally invested in Dean. Oops.

So yes, I know it’s not a show that’s taken particularly seriously…but that’s sort of the point, isn’t it? You just have to enjoy the ride. And sing along. And possibly check under your bed for ghouls. And actually, drawing a salt line near your doors and windows wouldn't hurt either. Just, you know, in case.

Sincerely,
Someone who did not do any uni work this weekend.


Dean: And that, Sam, is exactly why our lives suck. I mean come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? Normal people, they see a monster and they run, not us. No, no, no we search out things that want to kill us, yeah, or..or eat us. You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane!!
- Yellow Fever

Sam: Are we... should we... are we gonna kill this teddy bear?
Dean: How? Do we shoot it, burn it?
Sam: I don't know. Both?
Dean: How do we even know that's gonna work? I mean I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed-off teddy on our hands.
Sam: Yeah. Besides, I get the feeling that the bear isn't really the, you know, core problem here.
- Wishful Thinking

Come here show, let me hug you.

Music: Whole lotta love - Led Zeppelin

Top 10: Albums currently in rotation

Hmm, I think I might need to come up with a proper list of top 10s that I can just throw together otherwise this is going to get pretty repetitive pretty damn quickly. But for the moment, it'll have to do. Ten albums I've been listening to pretty much non-stop this week. That is all.

• The '59 Sound - The Gaslight Anthem
• Commit This To Memory - Motion City Soundtrack
• New Wave - Against Me!
• Say Anything - Say Anything
• Lucy Gray - Envy On The Coast
• Help! - The Beatles
• Sainthood - Tegan and Sara
• A Fever You Can't Sweat Out - Panic! At The Disco
• The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me - Brand New
• For Emma, Forever Ago - Bon Iver

Music: Borne on the FM waves of the heart - Against Me! (feat Tegan Quin)

Stay in control

I am
messy hair
geeky t-shirts
cowboy boots (well, boots)
and military jackets

On occasion, I am also
finger-less gloves
scarves
and green eye make-up

I am reading
tons of ancient history books
and The Book Thief for uni

I am writing
only in my head and not on paper

I am listening
to this song on repeat today

No, it's not what we meant to say.
We don’t really love each other.
What happens when the summer’s over?
How long before distance becomes a chore?
I'm approaching with great, great trepidation.
I hope you’ll understand.

Before you speak, think about what you're trying to say.
Who else is there to blame for miscommunication?
You're getting caught up in the excitement.
You're making promises you can’t keep.
You need to leave all your options open.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control of the situation.

Anxiety, anxiety you give me no mercy.
Grind my teeth smooth and flat in my sleep.
We took some pills to calm us down.
Then we needed help to come back up.
Just trying to stay in control of the situation.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control of the situation.
They fall apart so easily.

Too much momentum.
This room feels like it's going to explode.
Too many angles.
Too many factors to cover.
Waiting for signal.
You're searching for network.
You have to fight to stay in control,
You have to fight to stay in control,
No, you don’t have to fight to stay in control of the situation.

“I hope you’ll understand.”

Music: Borne on the FM waves of the heart - Against Me! (feat Tegan Quin)

Top 10: Favourite Fictional Characters

Fiction...so often better than reality. Far off places, weird and wonderful situations, and characters who are totally captivating. It's a tough ask, picking ten favourite characters, but I've narrowed it to television in the hope of making it less of an ordeal.

• Olivia Dunham - Fringe

Olivia: I was hoping you might have one of your... weird connections...
Peter: Weird connections?
Olivia: They're always a little weird.
Peter: Well, you're always a little weird.

• Sherlock Holmes - Sherlock

I'm in shock! Look, I have a blanket!

• Captain Jack Harkness - Torchwood

Jack: Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor: I do!
Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic."?
The Doctor: What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

• The Doctor - Doctor Who

Adelaide: State your name, rank, and intention!
The Doctor: The Doctor. Doctor. Fun.

• Peter Bishop - Fringe

Peter: You know, until this year I'd never actually been to a mental hospital.
Olivia: Learn to like new things

Walter Bishop - Fringe

Most of us experience life as a linear progression... ...but this is an illusion - because every day, life presents us with an array of choices... ...each choice leads to a new path. To go to work. To stay home. And each choice we take creates a new reality.

• Ianto Jones - Torchwood

That's what I love about Torchwood. By day, chasing the scum of the universe; come midnight, you're the wedding fairy.

• Sheldon Cooper - The Big Bang Theory

I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering that in the center of every black hole there’s a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.

• Cal Lightman - Lie to Me

Torres: What am I supposed to believe about you?
Cal: You can believe whatever you want. It's what everybody else does.

Honourable mentions to Sam Tyler and Gene Hunt from Life on Mars, Ziva David and Abby Sciuto from NCIS, Veronica Mars from Veronica Mars, Charlie Eppes and Larry Fleinhardt from Numb3rs, Mal Reynolds from Firefly and Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 


Music: Watching Spirited

Braaaaaains

I cannot get this song out of my head. It's stuck on some sort of loop. It's starting to drive me a little mad.



Music: Blue jeans & white t-shirts - The Gaslight Anthem

Well read and poised

I feel the same way about grocery shops as I do about Catholic churches. There’s something about it that sets me on edge and my main modus operandi is to get in and out as quickly as possible. I know what I want before I start out and I try not to stand around looking confused. Time is too precious to be wasted on boxes of cereal and fifty different kinds of egg. Fact.
    So it’s unusual that I find myself at a complete standstill in the confectionery aisle. They don’t have the chocolate I was after and it’s a careful process choosing a substitute. Besides, they’re on sale, might as well get two.
    “Mum, is that a vampire?”
    It’s asked in the stage whisper of the young, when you’re entirely self-assured that only the person you’re addressing can hear you. My eyes slide from the rows of chocolate-y goodness to a young girl not two feet away, eyes wide and holding onto her mother’s hand. She looks about six. Her mother, for her part, looks mortified.
    “I’m sorry,” she says but I wave it off.
    “It’s fine.” I turn to the little girl, still staring at me with open curiosity. “Why do you think I’m a vampire?”
    She draws a little closer to her mother’s leg but answers with complete conviction. “You’re tall, and pale, and you’re wearing funny clothes.” She takes a breath as if considering. “And you look sad.”
    I nod. “That’s true, but look,” I smile widely. “No pointy teeth.”
    “Vampires don’t always have pointy teeth,” she says in a huff – an honest to God huff – and giving me a look that implies I should know better. What did I think she was, an idiot? “They go in and out, like they need them.”
    “Well, you’ve done your research!” My eyes go to the mother. She seems stuck somewhere between embarrassment and amusement. I’m curious as to why her six year old knows so much about scary monsters, but I won’t ask. She must read it in my face as she gives me an apologetic smile. I return my attention to girl. “No vampire’s ever going to catch you, huh?”
    “Nahuh.”
    “Can I tell you a secret?” Her eyes go wide in that way only a young kid’s can and she shakes her head. “You promise not to tell?” Even more head shaking. I glance over my shoulder then crouch down. “Truth is,” I begin in a loud whisper. “I’m a vampire hunter.”
    “Really?” she whispers back.
    “Ahuh.” I flick another glance up and down the aisle. “See, you have to blend in, otherwise they’ll know what you are. So you thinking I’m a vampire means I’m doing a good job. Do you think I’m doing a good job?”
    She nods.
    “Okay, good. I’ve got to go now, but if you see any vampires, you leave them to me, okay?”
    “Okay,” she says, her face a mask of solemn importance.
    I straighten up. The mother is grinning at me. I smile, give a little shrug, and leave without looking back. I didn’t get the chocolate I was after but maybe, just maybe, there’s something to be said for grocery shops after all.

Music: Sophomore slump or comeback of the year - Fall Out Boy

Never going home again

Now that Mat Devine is on Broadway in the crazy Spider-Man musical, I worry that he will amass a whole bunch of new fans. You know what I mean - it's that awkward situation where you want people to appreciate and love the things you love because they deserve it, but you also don't want to share it with the rest of the world. I'm happy that he has the opportunity to do something like this but at the same time I want to bundle him up and yell "Fuck off, we had him first!"

Laaaame.

But for the record, we did have him first. Way back when - remember the ant post? Classic.

Anyway, this is all just a thought I had as I wandered around today, window shopping and generally slouching about where I shouldn't be, looking like some wayward member of Kill Hannah's touring party. It's the only thing I like about cooler weather - military jackets, scarves, hobo gloves. And boots. Never forget the boots.

That's pretty much all I had to say. It's Mardi Gras. Go out and party.

Still we sing with our heroes, 33 rounds per minute
We're never going home until the sun says we're finished
I'll love you forever if I ever love at all
With wild hearts, blue jeans, and white t-shirts

Music: Unwanted - Kill Hannah

Top 10: Favourite TAI Lyrics

On FB the other day, The Academy Is... asked what everyone’s favourite lyric from one of their songs were. Contemplating this, I realised I have a lot of favourite lyrics from TAI songs. So this week, keeping it short and sweet, 10 favourite lyrics...

You’re a stranger I know well, and not at all.

- The Test

You’re seldom known and barely missed.

- We’ve got a big mess on our hands

Always up or down, never down and out. Dream of demons while you sleep, they make you stutter when you speak.

- Down and out

So shut me up and bleed me dry, cheap champagne and complicated lifestyle.

- Chop chop

Every heart is like a house of cards when the walls cave down on you / Every heart is like a house on fire with escape routes in every room.

- Coppertone

Hold on, you haven’t heard the best yet, he writes good storylines, he’s got those honest eyes. So take him home for just 9.95, he’ll sing those songs you like, he’ll keep you warm at night.

- Classifieds

Let all your small steps expose your secrets, you don’t have to speak for me to believe it…Shaken and faint, you’ve got that feeling you’ve been followed under your skin, it will be weighing on your shoulders.

- Seed

Hollywood hills and suburban thrills, hey you, who are you kidding? I’m not like them, I won’t buy in.

- Slow down

Hold your head high heavy heart, so take a chance and make it big, cause it’s the last you’ll ever get. If we don’t take it, when will make it?

- The phrase that pays

So suck your so called pity down, hey that’s not so bad, is it? So take your cold, cold heart and drown, and don’t forget to take deep breaths.

- Checkmarks

Back down, cash out, that's the city for you. Break down, back out, get what's coming to you.

Music: Neighbours - The Academy Is...

I’m breaking habits, you don’t want to know

If I am required to stand for longer than an hour at any point during the rest of this week, my legs will mutiny. Just so you know.

Right then, last night I headed to The Metro to see The Gaslight Anthem. Heading in after work and grabbing a quick bite aside, I arrived just before 6.30. There was already a line of about 20 people and so, in true rock n roll fashion, it was time to stand around and wait. Doors were only scheduled for 7.30, and it was sprinkling on and off, leading to much shuffling under awnings and slouching against stage doors. Inadvertent brush with fame when guitarist Alex Rosamilia materialised (seemingly out of thin air, but I am very unobservant when I sink into my mindless waiting state) to be let in. So there you go kids, if you’re lining up, it might as well be right at the stage door.

They let us into the foyer around 7, so it wasn’t too bad. I was immediately annoyed by the couple behind me, but later I would join forces with obnoxious boy so we could be united in our obnoxiousness…cause let’s face it, with all my eye rolling, I suppose I’m not much better. I think I’m just, well, tired of this whole scene business. Long gone are the days where I’d walk into a gig and feel an immediate sense of connection, homecoming, whatever. Everyone says the same things, has the same arguments, discusses the same topics every time and it just gets so stale and repetitive. As soon as you identify a “scene”, you’re doomed to this. It inevitably becomes a caricature of itself. But I’m just jaded, I know. Anyway, I don’t come for the people so if they want to stand around discussing the downward spiral of AFI from Decemberunderground – because really, we haven’t heard that before – that’s their business.

When they finally let us in, I managed to get a nice little second row spot just off centre stage. Waited what felt like an age, exchanging small talk with strangers and suppressing aforementioned eye rolling, all leading up to the explosion that is Foxy Shazam. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would describe them later – the stage show is a bit like The Matches meets Mindless Self Indulgence meets Gogol Bordello (last one mostly because of the sheer randomness) – but Brian Fallon perhaps put it best when he described them as “if James Brown and Freddie Mercury had a baby.” It’s just the craziest thing. At first I thought I’d stumbled into Scott Pilgrim, but it’s almost impossible not to get swept away by the sheer exuberance of it all. There’s much posturing, jumping about, handstanding, rolling around, mic abuse, ridiculous stories, twitching, you name it. Their keyboardist was playing while standing on his head at one point and I think every band member had vocalist Eric clambering on them at one stage or another during the set. I’m not sure how they measure up on record, but live it is one hell of a good time. I think you’d be hard pressed to find another one of them around – check it out for yourself.

The Gaslight Anthem took the stage to huge cheers from the sold out crowd, and it was hard to decide who was happier, the crowd or the band. They were grinning most of the night and were just obviously having such a good time that there was no way you couldn’t love them. It’s always great to be in the front of a crowd when it’s a band you adore because all the other die-hards are going nuts around you, and it’s just such an intoxicating atmosphere. And of course you miss nothing onstage – the looks, the smiles, the nudges, the silent mouthed ‘oops’ when a chord is dropped. Win. There was a brilliant energy that thrummed through the place, from the dancing to the loud sing-a-longs to Brian’s meandering stories that start with sharks and ripcords and end with girls breaking your heart.

The hour and a half set was a nice balance between old and new, including a brand new song that I’m already utterly in love with. The drums on it, hmpfh. I’m trying to remember what the set list was exactly but it’s just too much awesome for me to compute right now. I don’t know what it is about this band, but they just hit something in me that nothing else does. While the emotional resonance when listening to their albums vary greatly, seeing them live was nothing but an all out amazingly fun time. I think musically they measure up pretty much flawlessly to the albums, and whatever they may lack in polish, they more than make up in heart. I’ll take that any day of the week. They ended with a fantastic cover of Baba O'Riley that, from where I was standing anyway, took the roof off the place.

By the end of the night I was completely hoarse and my cheeks ached from smiling. Just love. In fact, when I emerged onto the street, I was genuinely surprised to find it was 11pm. I could have happily stayed for another hour, or two, or many. But as soon as the distraction was gone, and my brain remembered my body again, I started paying for it almost immediately. Worth every aching muscle. Not so sure whether I’ll agree when my hearing goes, but right now nothing could make me happier. Short term goals, people.

More photos of the gig here - see if you can spot me :P

Edit: Set list here

Music: Bulls in Brooklyn - The Academy Is...