Sigh.
FNB is going well, we had our second meet-up last night and it was a very enjoyable evening. After our discussion of the books - Marian Keyes' The Other Side of the Story proving the more popular choice over Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner - it was decided the evening needed to be continued with our favourite pass time, movie watching. We headed off to the local rental place to scare customers away and aggravate employees and finally settled back on the couch for a long evening of silliness. We stuck to the chick lit theme of the evening and went with romantic comedy types. T'was quite hilarious. Our next genre is YA and it's my choice - I've nominated Summerland by Michael Chabon, and The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. There's been some contention over whether the latter is in fact a YA novel, but according to the rules of the book club, I think I am comfortably within the right to recommend it.
Sunday's been pretty hazy, but I've been buzzing. I've had an idea for a story for a while now and it's finally clicked into place enough for me to want to write it. Yay! I've missed this feeling. I try not to worry about it too much when it's not around, mostly because when I try to force myself to write, it's just depressingly second-rate. To actually feel somewhat motivated again is great. Too bad I have to work tomorrow. What can we do?
I was totally angsty over that on Friday actually. That whole 'you have to work, what can you do' thing. I can't stand it. I can't handle the thought that this is what life is. Maybe it is, you know, but there has to be something else. There just has to be. I don't want to settle for anything less, for convention and tradition, and expected hopes and dreams of a good career, buying a house, all that stuff. It's fine for some people, but it's not me. It's not what I want, it's not what I've ever wanted. Maybe I don't really know what I want. I just want to look back on my life one day and know that I was always entirely true to myself, without affectation and without compromising who I was or what I wanted to fit in with some sort of expectation of what I should or should not want or be. A counterintuitive life. Anyway, I get a bit manic when I'm cooped up in an office, dragging myself through dull mediocrity, and that leads to such thoughts. I know saying this sort of thing comes across as overly idealistic, naive even, but I just don't think I'm cut out for it and I don't see why I should have to settle. I refuse to. I'm still too young to do so, anyway.
While grocery shopping today, I caught sight of this ultra violet hair colour that's taken my fancy. I've got an appointment at the hairdressers on Saturday and I'm seriously thinking about going for it. I love my red layer, and I get tons of compliments on it, but something different might be nice. Thoughts?
Music: Modern Love - David Bowie
Mood: Creative
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